Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[loveforever101]

3 weeks of no contact, so far I haven't felt the urge to text until now. I hate this feeling I really hope I don't contact her. She has texted me a decent amount of times and the latest I miss you might just be getting to my heart. I think I still want you back but I don't know. It sucks not knowing how you feel about someone. Love, hate, anger, sadness, they all come and hit me at the same time... great.

[fireflywy]

A,

 

It has been almost seven months now, and I still think of you. You will never know it, and the universe will never let you feel it, but I still love you.

[mfleck91]

You know I thought I was over you. I thought I had moved on. But 2 and a half years later I still see certain things or go certain places and I'm flooded with memories of you.

 

The strange thing is I can't seem to remember what you looked like, I can't even remember what you sounded like when you talked to me. I can't remember any of your mannerisms, all I can remember is that we were together for that memory, and somehow that's still enough to cause me pain.

 

I wish I could erase you

[GettingOverItDay2Day]

Dear F

 

If you had been patient enough to wait 2 weeks I would have been proposing to you and we would have been planning our wedding

 

Instead you felt the need to date someone else while we were together over the last month and lie about so many things over so long a period

 

I really hate you for this but I wont feel like this forever as soon enough and day by day you will mean less and less and I will realise that it was better it happened now and not when married

 

Be happy with J, he can make you feel as special as you want although now I told him about me and how you were dating the both of us at the same time I doubt he wants much to do with you, especially seeing as your his work colleague!! Good luck with dealing with that awkwardness at work every day

 

I hope your happy now and start planning your future with him as we no longer have one...You are going to call me on Tuesday but I wont answer as Im sick of the lies....I gave you plenty of chances to be honest but you didnt take them so now your dead to me

 

One day you will look back and realise that I was a good man and that I treated you better than most have and will

Edited August 11, 2015 by GettingOverItDay2Day

[GettingOverItDay2Day]

You rang me today and left a voicemail

 

I wanted to hear if you were going to tell the truth

 

But you didnt and are still lying to me and yourself to make yourself feel blameless for what happened

 

You escalated things after we had sorted out any little issues so its clear you wanted this, I hope your happy now as I sure am that its happened now and not later down the line

 

You say your brothers gf is a loose woman, well at least shes open about it....you are worse because you took the moral highground of giving the impression you were honest when in reality your just a sketty betty

 

Good luck with things as Im done with you, just hope you can admit the truth to yourself someday:laugh:

[Felicite]

Feeling really bad today.

 

I wanted to text you and tell you that I miss you, and how the hell can you have completely forgotten me and not love me anymore, after all the things you did and said. I could see it in your eyes that you felt things for me. I could see that you were in love, from the things you did. Where did all this go?

 

And one day, after being in our best phase, you just leave saying ‘’you aren’t in love anymore’’, and ‘’you feel nothing’’. You want to have “more experiences in life” and you remembered that almost after nearly 2 years, although you knew all the time what I wanted.

 

As I sit and struggle with NC, a dull everyday life and lots of problems, you go on a summer ‘’spring break type’’ vacation with 21 year olds, getting stoned, drunk and hitting on anything that’s wearing a skirt I suppose. (all this while being 28 and supposed to be a serious office executive)

 

Was that the kind of ‘’experience’’ our relationship was keeping you from? Is that making you happy? Or is it a reaction? Whatever it is, you have serious immaturity issues. You also were lucky to have people that cared for you and were by your side. But in the end you said ‘’I have my buddies to care for me, women are for other stuff’’. I don’t wish that you reach a point where you realize one day no one cares for you. Every “buddy” is going to look after himself one day and forget about you.

 

At least know I have done the right things, I still care for you, and life isn’t fair, so I won’t be as lucky as you, probably. But at least I have the peace of mind that I was true, and did the right thing, and I didn’t treat someone so mean and nasty.

Edited August 12, 2015 by Felicite

[NoMoreJerks]

I love you, despite everything. Even though you no longer want to be with me. Sometimes , we have to let go of the ones we love, because we truly love them and want them to be OK, to feel good, to be happy. I am sorry I couldn't be that happiness anymore. I'm sorry I am no longer your "sunshine" as you used to say. That last time you drove me back home, yesterday, will remain in my head forever. How much I cried in the car. The very fact that you were so nice to drive me back home, because you knew I was in no right state of mind to take the subway or the bus. I love you. You're my everything. I couldn't have potentially loved anyone more than I have loved you and continue to love you. I will always love you. Always. With the same intensity that I always did.

[drade]

S,

 

Hey. It's been five weeks since we last spoke. Wow. And here I thought I couldn't make it a month. Here I thought I would reach out to you by month two. Here I thought I would wish you a happy birthday in September. Well, I made it. I am not going to contact you, and I will wish you an early birthday here.

 

You blocked me on FB. I unblocked you, and noticed you blocked me. Interesting, I thought you wanted to be friends, see what I am up to, "if and when you are ready you can contact me through text, facebook, email, whatever, I'll be here." I am starting to think that you really resent me. That's fine. Continue to do so, because everytime I think of you (which is less and less every day), the less I actually feel anything.

 

I don't remember what your voice really sounds like. I remember what you look like, but vaguely. No contact has helped me dramatically. Maybe you aren't the one, maybe that girl I put up on a pedestal and disowned my self respect and dignity is the one who taught me the most about myself.

 

I put you on a pedestal for far too long. I ruined our relationship, yes, I lied to you. I texted that girl. I did say I was unhappy. Now, I actually truly understand WHY I said that. I did have doubts here and there. You were so serious, criticizing, set in your ways. I am 23, you use to talk about marriage and children, being a stay at home mom and having me work. You always told me you wanted my children. "Your not husband material, but I could see myself having kids with you." That's a lot of serious thinking into a relationship like that. And yes, I did project that I was worthy of all of this. But I wasn't at the time, I still am not. I have some more growing up to do.

 

I'm sorry for what I did, ok? I learned my lesson the hard way. But atleast I learned it instantly. Now, I am being selfish. I am working on myself, meeting new people, trying new things, rekindling old relationships without you. I want to be someones husband material, and if I am not yours, than so be it.

 

You really are a great girl. There is this unexplainable attraction I have towards who you are. When I do see you in person, it'll be like a tonne of bricks hit me in the stomach. But this time around, I can handle it. And I will respect the situation. You taught me a lot S.

 

We definitely rushed into things too quickly. And the timing wasn't right. We both, especially me, shouldn't have put work first. But I had no choice, I graduated college and wasn't prepared for what was in store. Now, I am becoming competent in my job and learning to balance life / work.

 

We will talk again. I know we will. By that time we will both be indifferent, as I am sure you are now. But I am not. But with time I will be. I'm excited to see your future self, too see if you changed in any way, to see if your accepting and recognize my minor accomplishments too.

 

Let's stop playing these silly games. I am sorry. I have grown up quite a bit these past 75 days, 45 of that being NC. Sorry I couldn't be your friend. Sorry I begged, and pleaded, and involved our friends. I was an emotional wreck, and you were making the matters way worse.

 

I've learned a lot S, about the both of us. I am less self absorbed, self centered, and less negative. I had some serious interpersonal exploration and remodeling to do, and I will continue to do so. Not for you, but for me. Not because of you, but because of me. We will meet again S.

 

I hope your sister has a great wedding. Have fun, I know she hates me, but I am so grateful for her hospitality and genuine respect for me before I ruined things for us. You have a great family. You have great friends. And you have a great ex-boyfriend, who truly does care about you. My past actions may mask that, but deep down inside we both know who I truly am. That was my first major life mistake, I have never hurt anyone, especially a girlfriend. I have learned from it S. And you will see that, without me having to "prove" any increment of change to you. Some people do change, and I am one of them. Some people do learn from their mistakes, and I am one of them. More importantly, some people will never make a mistake or decision like that again, and I am one of them.

Edited August 14, 2015 by drade

[StrangerThanFiction]

No.

 

No. No. No. No. NO!!

 

I won't do it. I won't text you, even though it's all I can think about right now. I'm trying to find a reason not to...

[Sunshine09]

S

 

 

It's been 18 days since you told me that you didn't care about me anymore and to cease contact with you.

 

I have to admit, I really thought you would have reached out by now. Or tried to attempt to contact me. It makes me feel pretty ****ty and low that I am not even worth a thought in your mind. Realistically I know that this is actually a very GOOD thing for me. That you contacting me would only delay my healing and drag me back into a huge ***** storm. Emotionally, it still stings a lot that you haven't. I guess because I know it's likely that you are distracted/busy with her now.

 

I wonder if you will ever feel the loss the way I did, or any loss at all I guess. Do you not have any moments where you remember things we did, and said, plans we made for the future? How it felt to go to bed and wake up beside each other? I'd like to think it at least crosses your mind once in awhile. That you wonder what could have been. I know that this doesn't matter because in the end you made your choice, and that choice was not me, not us.

 

I still kick myself for missing someone who really didn't treat me well at all, It seems logic goes out the window in these times. I guess I don't really miss you, but the person you pretended to be for awhile, and the potential good I saw in you. Still, non the less, I could never just cut you off the way you did to me and be so cold and rude, a week after professing my love. I guess that's why it hurts so much, because I stood by you after everything you put me through and then you left...

 

I guess maybe it's your way to cope, and you have every right to live your life the way you want to. One day I hope I can be able to think of you with nothing but indifference. Just another chapter in my life.

 

I look forward to that time.

[Xiomn]

Hi, I told myself that I wouldn't contact you in order to respect your decision for space and I know that you said we probably shouldn't keep in contact anymore but I feel the need to express myself and get things off my chest. I hope you understand, if not then you need not reply to me anyway.

 

I've been thinking a lot over the past few weeks, reflecting on the relationship and all that. Truth be told I have always been sceptical of your motives and reasoning for breaking up with me. The reason you gave has always been a thorn in my side, the reason being that you wanted to focus on yourself, university, your writing among other things. Indeed, because of my scepticism when you did break up with me I told you "This better not be your way of breaking up with me lightly because I know girls, or anyone for that matter, say these kind of things when breaking up with someone"

 

Still, you replied and insisted that was not the case, you were not trying to break up with me lightly and you said I could even ask your friend whom you said you have talked to about everything on numerous occasions to testify to everything you have said.

 

While I do somewhat respect that decision, I still think it was pretty poor on your part for not:

 

1. Talking to me about everything before breaking up with me.

2. At least once attempt at making things work between us.

3. Breaking up with me over text and not in person.

4. Telling me the truth and instead lying to me.

 

Let's be honest, part of that reason was a load of crap, right? Part of the reason was because you're young, you're at university and want to experience new things, new things, new guys. Basically, you hated the idea of being tied down in a relationship when you knew there were other guys out there that liked you and wanted to get with you. You have even told me in the past how you have "urges" to get with other people but you don't want to cheat.

 

Well what better way to get rid of all those urges and break up with me so you're free to sleep around with other guys without having to put in the commitment needed for a full-blown relationship or carrying all the guilt around with you. Why didn't you have the courage to tell me straight when breaking up with me? Because you didn't want to hurt me? By lying to me you have hurt me even more.

 

You refused to even try and at least once to try and make it work between us. It was a completely workable solution. If you had loved me, which presumably you did after no longer than 2 measly days before breaking up with me you told me you loved me, told me I was the best, sending me all these heart emoticons over Facebook and planning on staying over with me for the week after your parents got back from their holiday, then you would have at least tried. Instead, your actions spoke louder than words, the act of breaking up with me, refusing to talk to me and refusing to try and make things work showed quite clearly the opposite of what you had said, it showed me that you in fact didn't love me.

 

When I asked if you still loved me you said "God knows" because you couldn't pluck up the courage to say no. Only after my constant nagging to try and get you back did you eventually say no.

 

Not only did you not pluck up the courage to tell me the true reasons for breaking up with me, but you also couldn't pluck up the courage to break up with me face to face, instead choosing to do it over Facebook. That hurt me, made me feel like after everything I meant nothing to you.

 

The lies didn't end there however. You told me how you didn't want me to move into the flat we had been planning on moving in together for the better part of half a year any longer. You told me you wanted to live alone in the flat and have it to yourself, that you needed space not just from me but from everyone and that you wanted to change the room I was supposed to be moving into, into a writing room. I believed you. Yet after 6 days I found out you were now planning and "couldn't wait" to move into the new flat with (name). Fair enough had it been you changed your mind over several weeks or months, but 6 days? You treated me like a fool and I fell for it once again...

 

People usually take the phrase "actions speak louder than words" as being an obvious statement. However, it's amazing how love can make one blind to reality, choosing to believe words rather than the actions themselves. Now I have learned that people make time for the people they love, which I thought you did but clearly not.

 

I think you are a very confused young woman, I don't mean that in a disrespectful way, despite how words on paper cannot convey that fact. You say you can't commit and that you should have stayed single all along and yet you were the one constantly trying to pressure me and manipulate me into proposing to you and having kids with you. One minute you wanted kids and the next you didn't, one minute you loved me and wanted to be with me and the next you didn't, constantly threatening to break up with me because it was either your way or no way at all.

 

You have said in the past how you don't like following how other people expect you to do things and yet at the same time you expected me to follow your way every time.

 

You even told me you wanted to be single after you broke up with me and yet you told me your feelings came back for your ex when you met him. You then said "thankfully it wouldn't work because he is in (place)" as if to suggest that if he wasn't in (place) then you would have eventually left me for him anyway.

 

You have fed me so many lies I begin to wonder why I even trusted you in the first place. Now don't get me wrong, I am not putting all the blame on you because I know a relationship works both ways and that I am not completely absolved from all blame, I've told you about my mistakes and all that before anyway. But the fact of the matter is I may have lost respect for myself and you too may have lost respect for me for constantly trying to get you back after we had just broken up but at the same time I'm glad I tried all I could possibly do to make things work between us because of how much you meant to me and how much I loved you, unlike you who didn't try at all, lied to me and broke up with me over text.

 

Go ahead and curse me for not being able to move on so quickly as you, it might have been easier for you as the dumper having most likely planned it for a while but for me it was all so sudden, riddled with lies and confusement. I'm sure I'll get over it in time, not a week or two like you seem to expect me to.

 

You were my first love and I will always have a place for you in my heart despite everything you have said and done. You have also taught me a lot about not just relationships in general but also about myself so if anything good is to come from this letter then let it at least be me thanking you for that.

Edited August 16, 2015 by Xiomn

[Gridlock]

You're honestly a piece of ****. Never have you ever been able to directly tell me how you feel, instead you come up with some complete bull**** like "Im not ready for a committed relationship" after FOUR years of dating. Well, as it turns out you were more ready than you thought since you got into another relationship with some dude.

 

Honestly, I dont even care that you're dating someone else. I'm just furious over the fact that you wasted 4 years of my life with your childish bull****, and now im left picking up the pieces of my life that you shattered.

 

I wish I could say I wish you well, but with all the anger and resentment I feel, I honestly wish you would fall face first into a fire pit and suffer.

 

**** you.

 

Sincerely,

 

Me.

[jaskiegs]

Wow, some days are just really hard. I've gone to this last week thinking that maybe I had turned a corner and didn't need to contact you anymore and then today happens and there's nothing else I can think about other than you. I wish we could have worked out and as we both know there are lot of reasons why we are not working out, but I still love you so deeply and I still wake up every morning with the pain of realizing that we are no longer together and that we will no longer be together. I do wish you well, although that is not tinged by some degree of resentment, which isn't all bad since my body is being reformed by the hours I'm spending at the gym. But at the end of the day I hope you find the happiness that you deserve and I hope I find a way to forget about you.

[Firstheartbreaksux]

Why would you stick with me the whole 5 months I was just to end it 2 weeks before I came home. We're talking about getting married, you were going to get my name tattooed, you were in the middle of buying us a house. I know I could've handled things better than I did, but I'm not perfect, but i thought our love was. I thought it would it at least deserve a talk now that I'm home. I think bc I was for so long you forgot what it's like to be in each others arms, what it was like when we were lost in our little world. I miss u lady, let me remind you

[lemondrop21]

I thought it would make me feel better to walk past you at work today because I know I looked darned cute. But when you faintly called out "hi" in your sad voice that faltered as you said it, I didn't feel any better. I felt miserable, because I can hear in your voice that you are hurting just as much as I am. And yet we can't even comfort each other because it won't do anything good in the long run. As I told you, your feelings do absolutely nothing for me.

[Cupid's Puppet]

Is anyone woke? I am about to crack. My most recent fellow is not dealing well with the no contact. I just feel cruel ignoring him. But I think it's cruel that he plays games.

[lemondrop21]

I saw your wife and kid at the park today. I knew it would happen at some point although I didn't necessarily expect it to happen so soon after they were back in town. But it probably happened because now I am always looking, looking, looking all around me, everywhere, all the time.

 

The strange thing is that I felt nothing. I feel like a terrible person because I looked at her (well, her back anyway) and looked at your kid and could not feel any guilt even though I've felt such strong guilt at other times. I hope the guilt comes back because right now I am just numb and being numb is so much worse than feeling right now. At least if I felt guilty I would know that I am still human, still have a sense of morality even though I betrayed it.

 

I also feel angry at you because I don't think you feel guilty. When we had the conversation a few days ago, it was me who brought up guilt about our actions. It was me who was angry at both of us on her behalf. You just nodded and looked at me. I don't know that you feel any guilt at all. I don't know how you sleep at night. As I write this, I just feel bad for her because she doesn't know the truth about the situation she is in. You made her feel as though she needed help, needed to go to therapy and work on the marriage, and that was probably true. You both needed therapy and I'm glad you both got it. But then when she finally agreed and was in therapy, you were busy sleeping with me. And you were able to "turn off your mind" as you said. Able to "just enjoy it."

 

I hope the guilt hits you like a pile of bricks at some point because no matter what she did to you, she deserved better than that. Especially when she was trying to make an effort at improving the marriage.

 

I think I'm lucky I got away. Unfortunately she won't be so lucky. I know she'll never leave, I believe she's codependent and you're pretty much all she's ever known. She'll probably go to her grave thinking that her husband is a better man than he really is. Or, she senses something... and she has that sadness that comes from sensing something but not really knowing the answer. I wonder if she'll have to live with that sadness the rest of her life.

 

I don't know why I didn't feel anything when I saw her yesterday in the park, because now I have tears in my eyes as I write this. I think you are disgusting and I hope you are able to man up and be what she deserves in the marriage.

[CopingGal]

Hey There, Dumbazz,

 

 

How are you? I miss the way you used to lie to my face and then run around and do anything you wanted behind my back. I'm begging you to take me back so that I can experience more gut wrenching lies and deceit. I miss being cheated on. I miss being emotionally rejected by you. Ahh, the good old days...not, F you!

[Chronotrgr]

Feels so quiet tonight, I really can't sleep at night these days, I find it hard to cope being back at my mother's house, tip toeing around all the time, I feel so depressed, I don't even really know if I miss you or if I even want you, I just miss the place I used to call home, and don't really know what I'm supposed to do with myself now, you never cared about me leaving, you never said don't go, the last time I saw you I tried to hug you and you slammed your make up bag on the table and stormed out, I'm at my wits end now, I don't know how to process anything, I don't even really know how you feel about me, I hope I can sleep tonight, that's all I want right now.

[CopingGal]

asswipe, major asswipe

[CopingGal]

Feels so quiet tonight, I really can't sleep at night these days, I find it hard to cope being back at my mother's house, tip toeing around all the time, I feel so depressed, I don't even really know if I miss you or if I even want you, I just miss the place I used to call home, and don't really know what I'm supposed to do with myself now, you never cared about me leaving, you never said don't go, the last time I saw you I tried to hug you and you slammed your make up bag on the table and stormed out, I'm at my wits end now, I don't know how to process anything, I don't even really know how you feel about me, I hope I can sleep tonight, that's all I want right now.

 

She sounds like a dumbazz.

[GettingOverItDay2Day]

Finding it really hard today....I know she has got together with the guy she cheated on me with....Just wish I could forget her with a click of the fingers

[Firstheartbreaksux]

The mornings are so hard. As soon as I open my eyes, that's not in my stomach hits, and that incredibly empty feeling settles in. A thousand thoughts race through my head. I miss you lady, I miss us.

[lemondrop21]

I can't stand being so close to you at work. Talking to you was a bad idea, we were so friendly and a bit flirty and it felt sooooo good at the time. But it made me happy in a way that doesn't face reality. Now I want to sob. I'm turned on and I want to be with you, but not just physically, also emotionally... in every way. I want you so much and it just sucks that I can't be with you and I know I'll never be with you, you'll never leave your wife and I don't want you to ruin your marriage and screw up your kids anyway unless it really is for the best. But right here, right now, I just want you, and it REALLY sucks.

[CopingGal]

Hi Dumb-azz,

 

How are you today? I miss the stench of your nasty, filthy body. Come shower me with your funk and your arrogance. I want to remind you that soap is not a bad thing. Try it, you'll like it, Dumb-azz.

 

You are simply pathetic