Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[minimariah]

hello...

 

today is the last day. not sure what to say... not sure if i should say anything at all. i like to comofort myself with thoughts that everything happens with a reason but i'm not sure what was the exact reason for this & was it all so necessary? time will tell.

 

i'm bombarded with memories today... they are mostly happy memories, full of joy & hope. i gave a certain part of myself that i'm never getting back & deep down, i know i'll be fine with that in the future.

 

life goes on and i have no other choice but to continue with my journey.

 

farewell, my love.

[15Love]

You make me so crazy!!! Silence! Just random out of no where silence?? Middle of texting YOU started! Why do you do this ****?? To ****with my head? To leave me dizzy? To make me want to drive to you and shake you? You'd love that. Then you could have what ever you wanted because you know I'm powerless when I'm in front of you. Why did you say you confess I'm finally in your head? Why did you say you give in? Why did you stroke my hair while you told me your deepest concerns? I wondered if you'd cry. I've never seen you cry. Why did you get so angry because I thought you were lying about where you had go after? Why did you call me after I left to tell me nothing really? I was prepared for another week without hearing from you. So why the unexpected text to say hi? I love you so much. Please don't keep doing this. It makes every muscle in my body ache. My stomach hurt. I can't sleep. If I can't have you...please please please, leave me alone.

[Felicite]

I was wondering if you will ever have the balls to say that you were wrong, that you treated me like s*** and that you‘re sorry… I suppose you prefer to act mad, because you don’t want to admit your mistakes.

I don’t understand your indifference, how can you be so stone-hearted? Was it all in my head that you really felt something?

[Draper]

Hey again,

 

Man, today I was hard. I was alone in the apartment most of the day, you know the one we were planning on living together in, and I missed the hell out of you. In that moment, I would have given anything to hear your laugh or see your smile.

 

But then I remember that you walked out on me and left me to pick up the broken pieces of myself. I'll never understand how we got to this point, or how your mind suddenly changed about everything so quickly. That's fine, though. I don't need an explanation on that. What kills me more is that you looked in my eyes and told me you saw a future with me, and then you were gone.

 

When I saw that you talking to that guy you cheated on me with just 2 weeks after you tossed me aside, I really lost a lot of hope in you as a person. First of all, you cheated on me. Second, you obviously lied about how meaningless it was if all the sudden he's the first person you talk to after you dump me. Thirdly, you don't even have the god damn decency to keep that **** off facebook.

 

I'm not angry I lost you. I'm glad I did. Sadly, it seems like you lost yourself. I do hope you find and I do hope your more careful about what you throw away in the future. Some things come back and some don't. The worst of it is, no matter how mad I get, I still love you to the damn moon.

 

Goodbye, my dear.

[edgygirl]

I hate that you wrote me a few months ago. I hate that it brought all the thoughts about us back again and they've been haunting me since... when I was almost about to forget for real.

 

Yesterday I pulled the plug with this guy I was seeing. I feel empty inside although I initiated it. And the thoughts of you and of what could have been keep coming back.

 

Most of all, I am angry that you could move on so fast, and that you probably found someone who fit your laundry list. I hate that you informed me about your life while I didn't ask for it. Jerk. I hope your d*** rots and falls off.

 

FYI I put your email on an automatic mark as read folder and believe me, I will NOT see it if you write me again. So stop writing me! Why do that? Ugh.

[Draper]

God, I hate that I keep writing these. I want nothing more than to talk to you - to call you babe, to tell you I love you, and to hear that you love me. Unfortunately it's becoming clearer and clearer that I can't do this, so I write these things here.

 

I often wonder if I was at fault. It's something that's bothered me over the past few days. You once told me that it felt like I didn't understand anything about your depression. The fact is, i didn't. I haven't been around it in my life, but I do everything I could to be supportive. I just wanted you to know that I tried, the absolute best I could.

 

Your mom told me you had an appointment with a therapist. I'm glad to hear that, and I was happy to hear she would be going with you to support you. I truly hope you get the help you need. Despite the anger and the sense of abandonment I have built up, I do hope everything works out. Nobody deserves to have a mental illness.

 

After everything, I still find myself looking at my phone hoping for a message. I know deep down that there's only one message I can ever respond to, but I hold onto hope. Although, as the days go by, I begin to let it go. That message would have to be something along the lines of 'I made a mistake, I'm sorry'.

 

I hope everything works out, for both of us.

[Felicite]

Life is so gray without you.

 

I remember how happy I felt, and how much I felt I love you by only watching you laugh and smile. I cared for you. You didn’t realize how priceless it is to have a person feeling for you like that.

And even though I wish I could see you again like that, I don’t know if I ever will, and I feel awful because your actions wasted such good feelings. It makes me infinitely sad.

 

Does the girl you are “in love” with feel like that for you? Does she care? I’m not coming anywhere near you because, I’m not planning on getting hurt again. I hope that you actually do have people that care for you in your life, because it’s pretty rare.Either you didn’t realize that I was one of them and that makes you an idiot, or you have too many people who care and you don’t think it’s special, which is not likely.

Rich stoned 20yr-olds though, don’t seem to have a sense of reality. Anyway, that’s what you chose..

So I must also protect myself.

[Draper]

Here we are again. I once again feel compelled to talk to you despite everything I now know and understand.

 

There is a void in my life right now. Without you, I haven't been myself. I can barely eat, I haven't been sleeping, I find it hard to concentrate, and I've been turning to drugs, alcohol and tobacco to fill, or at least mask, that void. The thing is, I know that void is there for a reason. It's there to make me fight through the pain and come out as a better person at the end of it.

 

I inadvertently saw some pictures of you and your new guy 'friend' on facebook. It's not the fact that you're with him that haunts me, it's the fact that you still haven't owned up to your actions and decisions. You've denied me the honesty that I know I deserve. In fact, looking back, you've been lying to me every day of our relationship since the day I found out about you cheating with him. You told me you weren't that kind of girl, and that I was the only one for you. You lied, and now you won't even take responsibility for those lies.

 

I don't claim to be perfect. I'm far from it and, just like everyone else, I have my vices and my weaknesses. That being said, I would never disrespect you the way you have me. I would never be disloyal to you. I would be honest with you 100% of the time, as I always was. You say you see a future with me. Then you say you just want to be friends. Whether you're actually naive enough to think either can happen is something I often think about. We'll never be friends. I love you too much to be your friend, and I'm not willing to suffer through it.

 

The future you supposedly see will never happen either. I refuse to allow myself to be hurt over and over. I went through that before. I wish it were different, but a part of me is glad you're gone before more damage is done. I'm glad you let me go if you knew you could never reciprocate what I was giving you. I just wish you went about it a little better. I have to forget you.

[Hell Yeah]

While this town is busy sleeping

All the noise has died away

I walk the streets to stop my weeping

But she'll never change her ways

 

Don't fool yourself

She was heartache from the moment that you met her

My heart feels so still

As i try to find the will to forget her somehow

Oh i think i've forgotten her now

 

Her love is a rose dead and dying

Dropping her petals and man i know

All full of wine the world before her

But sober with no place to go

 

Don't fool yourself

She was heartache from the moment that you met her

My heart is frozen still

As i try to find the will to forget her somehow

She's somewhere out there now

 

Oh my tears fall down as i tried to forget

The love was a joke from the day that we met

All of the words all of her men

All of my pain when i think back to when

Remember her hair as it shone in the sun

It was there on the bed when i knew what she'd done

Tell yourself over and over you wont ever need her again

 

Don't fool yourself

She was heartache from the moment that you met her

Oh my heart is frozen still

As i try to find the will to forget her somehow

She's out there somewhere now

 

Oh

She was heartache from the day that i first met her

My heart is frozen still

As i try to find the will to forget you somehow

Cause i know you're somewhere out there right now

[Oregon_Dude]

Hey there, long time.

 

I still wonder what I could have done. I just couldn't stand living in your limbo any longer. It was clear you were pulling away. I'll never know all the reasons - whether there was someone else - but really, they don't matter. You went from daily texting and sweetness to coldness, literally overnight. I'm not an idiot - I can tell when something's wrong. I confronted you. You denied it. You weren't being truthful. I gave you many opportunities to tell me what was going on. You just played dumb. You refused to communicate. You stonewalled me. Where do you think that leaves me? I've got this person that I love who will not even talk to me honestly. Great.

 

So then you act all surprised when I block you and go NC. Whatever. YOU did this to me. I gave you what I felt was enough time (almost 3 days of you ignoring me). Pure silence. I had every right to "dump" you, if that's what you wanna call it - since you basically forced me to, you coward. Remember when we said the only way this would end is if we pushed each other away? Well, that's exactly what you did. And I don't f*cking care what your issues were. You don't get to ignore your BF and put him through that incredible stress indefinitely. It wasn't fair to me. If I did it to you, you'd be just as hurt.

 

I was within my right. You don't get to reach out weeks later and not apologize, act like I'm the bad guy. You're so blind to how you treat others. And I'm so f*cking glad to be the one person in your life who is unwilling to play this game of yours. EVERYBODY indulges you. Your parents, your so-called friends, your boy and girl toys. Why?? Because you're so godd*mn manipulative. And with the toys - because you f*ck them. You're such a godd*mn nympho, three times in a night isn't good enough for you.

 

Whatever, man. Do you realize that when you refuse to own up, you miss out? Do you realize that this new girl is going to snatch me up, real quick? I don't WANT her, or this other girl - I want YOU, but the YOU that wants me TOO. And you didn't, or you didn't express it. It's the same f*cking thing in my book.

 

We shared a REAL connection. We did. But we will never have good times again. Ever. Remember this: I didn't push you away. You. F*cking. Ignored me. It is never OK, not in the kind of r/s we supposedly had. I was right to put an end to the torture. I have self-respect. You will know a man when he doesn't run after you.

 

Stalemate. No winners. Don't ever think I'm gonna contact you. I was weak, but now I'm getting very strong. The way you treated me was unacceptable. And I did EVERYTHING for you. You did not deserve me. Everyone in your life is just an accessory to fulfill YOUR ever-changing needs.

 

F*ck you.

[Cupid's Puppet]

Why are you making this difficult? I cannot see you again. You are being selfish right now. You had an opportunity to be with me. I was yours. But you didn't want me then. Now that you had time to think about it, you want me back. Too late. I am seeing other people. Yes I move quick. I'm not getting any younger. You'll learn next time that if you like a girl, you'd lock it up real quick.

[K2z]

A month goes by after I write you my most heartfelt proposal for a life together, and nothing?? Do you even have a heart, or is it just a little black pebble in your chest? If you're so sure the answer is no, can you not type that out as a single sentence?

 

And at the same time I say the above, a tide of hope, forgiveness and optimism wash up in me. There is absolutely nothing that we can't straighten out by communicating. I swear to God I will be the man you deserve. Give us a flicker of a chance, and I will bring bliss to your life for the rest of our days. Your refusal to answer as of yet, I cling to as "not no..." for the sake of my sanity.

 

And yes, it's true I don't even know what country you're in. Or if you even saw my note in the first place. Let me grasp for a while.

Edited September 23, 2015 by K2z

[wlh22]

It has been a little bit more than a month of you essentially walking out of the relationship, without even informing me. I had to guess for a week, keep calling, and you sort of even avoided the discussion, forget an effort to build the relationship.

 

 

How unstable could you be to make all the promises of never hurting me, being with me for life, and how you will always make me happy just a few days ago and then bam! What changed? How can anyone understand this? Only you can. Now I look back and think I gave you too much benefit of doubt but you were really unstable and indecisive.

I still feel low and hurt. Partly for the loss of what could have been great, in my opinion. And partly because I put trust in you when you came back the first time asking for another chance for being together.

 

 

What an emotional roller coster this year has been

[Draper]

It's been a few days.

 

A month ago today, we left on vacation with us and my family. Which means 3 days from now will be when we returned home and you texted me telling me you 'think we should do our own thing for awhile'. But don't worry, you assured me it wasn't forever. 2 days later we met and made it official. You were leaving. You said it was because you need to get back into counselling to work on your depression and such, so I asked you point blank if you saw a future for us. You said 'I do, honestly, its not forever its just for now'.

 

You know, I was actually coming to terms with it. I thought you'd get better, lose the meds, and we'd be back. And then I see pictures on facebook of you and 'him'. That one guy you cheated on me with way back, right? Yeah that's him. The fact that you could look at me and tell me your leaving because of depression, yet you already some **** lined up. Also that fact that it was this guy pretty much invalidates your promise of not speaking to him. **** you. The two worst qualities in a person is lying and disloyalty, sadly for both us you are plagued by both.

 

I will truly never understand how you could look me in the eyes and lie to me after everything. After telling me I was the one, and that you wanted a future with the marriage and with the kids and with the house. Then you just up and leave? Honestly if you weren't happy and wanted out, that's fine. I can't be mad at someone for doing what's best for them. That is no excuse to lie and manipulate people who do nothing but love and tend to your every need, every day. Every ****ing day I was there, and you weren't. You were at the bar with friends or doing some other mindless ****.

 

I believe the day will come where look back on this being one of the biggest mistakes of your life. By then, it will be too late. I'll be with someone who treats me as well as I treat them. Someone who would do anything to be with me. And even if I'm not, I can't ever let you back in my life. I can't have someone that's willing to crush me to very core without having a god damn care in the world. The fact that you put pictures up not 3 weeks after we ended it proves that you're to ****ing selfish to think about how anyone else in the world feels. That will start to work against you in time.

 

I think you need some serious help, and I'm not saying that to be cruel. There's just no way that someone should be able to look at their boyfriend and tell him how much they love him, and not two days later they walk out presumably for someone else. I would have lived for you, I would have fought for you, I would have killed for you, and I would have died for you. You'll be hard pressed to find another guy thats willing to be even remotely that devoted to you.

 

What you did to me was a complete slap in the face to me after everything I've done for you, which is simply too much to put into words. Never again will I let someone treat me like the worthless piece of **** you treated me like. You won't ever hear from me again. You'll probably see me, and when you do - I'll be swift in looking the other way because I don't ever want to see you again. And frankly you don't deserve to see me. **** you and **** the way you kicked me to the curb.

 

Show some ****ing respect to the people who love you and give them some damn honesty once in awhile. You're living a lie and it's only a matter of time until it comes crashing down.

[Seguso]

Day one:

 

You've showed me who you really are and I'm grateful for that as you are not somebody I wish to be in a relationship with. We had good times - and I will say that despite the many hurts you caused me and I caused you. I need to honour NC so I can be the best I can be, and recover who I was and who you apparently fell in love with - for me and for our child - and for you.

 

We went on for too long. It kept getting worse when things turned bad. We all deserve more than we had.

 

We have been together nearly all the time since getting together - nurturing our own little bubble that its gonna be a hard slog living without you but I need now to clear out the unhealthy and make room to heal. I do love you, maybe the you I fell in love with before the ****storm but I do.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

We gave it another go...it wasn't easy but I felt we had found a middle ground when it came to trying to understand each other and be more considerate and respectful.

 

Yet, here we are a day after you blew up at me for a mistake I made...you crossed the line. I admitted that I made an error in judgement and I sincerely apologized. I understood why you got upset but cannot understand why you would think it was ok to blow up at me and react with such rage the way you did. Nothing I did was out of ill intent.

 

I've been nothing but loyal, loving, supportive and have tried to please you over and over again. You make it seem like there is no room for error in our relationship.

 

We spent all day apart yesterday and you never reached out once. When you were going off on me and lashed out insults I said, " We don't have to be together." I said that as a defense mechanism. Honestly you've hurt me over and over again.

 

I love you with all of my heart and that's the only reason I've stayed despite the fact that I've felt for sometime now that you have put little to no effort into our relationship. You have no idea how much you mean to me.

 

I love you so much it hurts but you may have pushed me to the point of no return. In the past, I would have texted you by now, breaking down again...pleading for you to forgive me. I won't do it this time. I can't.

 

This time, I need you to come to me and recognize and apologize for your actions. Nothing I did justified you to lash out at me like you did. It makes me wonder if you really love me...and if you do, do you know that you have a serious anger issue?

 

I'm hurting badly today

Edited September 28, 2015 by seekingpeaceinlove

[Jaganath]

Fee, It's been 3 weeks now and I miss you so much I'm going out of my mind.

 

We should have been in Corfu now, having a fantastic time together and on the last day I was going to propose to you. I bought the ring you fell in love with, the one you said was too expensive, but now it's sat in a draw while you holiday without me and I sit hear crying.

 

I know the situation is incredibly tough right now, but we could have got through it together, like people who love each other are supposed to. But you left me, abandoned me when I needed you the most and you've left me devastated and I don't know how long I can go on without you.

 

Every day is a long silent scream, dragging myself through the hours without you. Thinking of you constantly, the pain in my heart crushing me and crying until my head feels like it will split apart.

 

You seem do be doing fine without me, going out having fun, going on holiday, just carrying on as usual while I crumble to dust.

 

Is there once again someone else? A quick **** or someone you've had your eye on to date and that's why you've thrown away 7 years of love, 7 years of beautiful memories with me, the man you said was the love of your life and your soul mate?

 

Despite how selfish you've been and the agony you're causing me right now I still love you completely. I accepted your flaws a long time ago and even ever forgiving you screwing around and breaking my heart I wasn't enough and you still threw me away.

 

I've not known one second's happiness since you left me, and I know without you I'll never be happy again. You say you love me, that I'm that one special person but you 'can't be around me right now' You always say 'Right now' like your leaving is temporary, like there's hope, but my hope and strength are fading as the pain increases.

 

When I go no contact and then cave in and contact you again, you're actually angry that I've ignored you?! And when I ask outright 'Is it over?? Do you really not want me in your life any more??' You avoid the question and again say 'I can't see you right now'. I'm in absolute ****ing hell because you're not strong enough or don't love me enough to be with me when things are hard.

 

You've shifted all the pain and stress onto me so that you can avoid it and carry on without me, leaving me broken and betrayed.

 

I'm amazed at myself at the capacity for love I must have, to still adore you and still want you by my side for the rest of my days.

 

I'm praying you see what we are losing before it's too late, before my strength is gone and I end it all, because I can't face the rest of my life without you.

[MightyPen]

I just want to say the OP was so well written, thoughtful and helpful. Especially coming from a guy, it was just what I needed to read.

[Oregon_Dude]

I hate that I'm so far behind you in terms of recovery. But I'm so far ahead of you in terms of knowing myself and treating people well. I know I'm not on your mind... I know someone else has taken that space. It's easier for you being female, being young and cute enough. I know that all of us are just interchangeable bodies to you, and I know that the chase is ever so exciting.

 

Someone will replace you in my head, eventually, but what till then? Just memories, wondering, a ghost taking up my head. Sadness, regret. Regret for what? I don't know.

 

I feel completely abandoned and alone. Maybe you do too. I really hope I hear from you. I don't care what it is. I know too much time has passed though. I am meaningless to you. I wish you were, too.

[purpledooze]

Are you guys back together?

 

Are you happy?

 

Do you love her still?

 

Are you going to marry her?

 

Are you really leaving October?

 

If I had done things right, would our relationship have stood a chance?

 

If there was anything I could have done to save our relationship, what would it be?

 

I just saw some things on my wall. You're going on surf trips with her like you said we'd do. Adventures. And then you forgetting my birthday. It's just helped me see reality. That it really is over. That there could be no more rushing to the airport at 4am to meet you. No more singing in cars. I wish I could turn back time and undo my mistakes. I made so many since the move, I can't really blame you for leaving. I should've been more attentive to your needs, and kept you involved with my decision-making. I should've believed you when you said you were an introvert. I wanted to trust you, but my pride got in the way. I projected my own needs and wants on to you, I needed time to really understand how you think and work. By the time I've started to, you were already gone.

 

There's a part of me that wants you back still and I miss you, but I know it could never work and like last time, I'll always be in the back seat waiting for scraps of your time. I tried so hard to catch up with you because it made me feel bad that you were carrying my weight too and because I knew you needed a good partner, despite so many setbacks. You made a huge impact in my life. I wouldn't be in this job if it weren't for you. I wouldn't have pushed myself to learn and grow so much in such a small amount of time.

 

I don't know what else to do. Everything that I feared would happen has happened. If you're not open to the idea of us working things out, please help me move on. Block me, don't check up on me or ask me anything.

[Draper]

It kills me to think that you're out, living your life, without a trace of me in your mind. It's been nearly a month now since I've seen your face, since you hugged me apologizing and crying. I thought it was genuine, but I've come to think all that crying and apologizing was a result of guilt rather than love.

 

You have eyes for others, and I don't want to be with someone like that. I say that now but, truth be told, if you came back to me today I would more than likely confess my love to you and tell you how much I want to be with you. But I'll never be the one to come to you. No, not after what you've done to me. You burned the bridge and if you ever want to cross the river again, you're going to be the one building it.

 

A friend told me they saw you post something about crying yourself to sleep every night. I must admit, it crossed my mind 'hey, maybe she's thinking of me'. I wonder if you are. I wonder if you ever think of how I must be feeling. I've learned a lot about myself over this time - mainly that I'm capable of loving someone so much that I wish the ceiling would just cave in at the thought of never seeing them again.

 

That day you ended it, and you told me the future you saw with me was real and all that, I said to you that I didn't want to wonder if I'd ever see you again, and that I didn't mean walk by you some place. You looked at me and said 'You will'. I don't want to believe you're capable of lying to me like that, especially after all the love you supposedly had for me, but everyday that goes by without hearing from you it becomes easier and easier to believe.

 

In any case, it seems by all accounts that you've moved onto the next guy. That's rather ****ing hurtful to me, but I know I deserve better than someone who will leave me broken and destroyed in an instant to be with someone that's willing to party with you every weekend. I hope you never regret what you've done to me because by the time you do, if you do, I'm fairly certain it will be too late.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

I have no idea what's going on and where we stand right now...it's a sick feeling. I texted you something important this morning, 5 hours later no reply. Not even an acknowledgement. Is this your way of breaking up with me?

 

Why are you torturing me? Let me know where your head is?

 

Just a few days ago you were writing me love notes...and we were making love passionately.

 

Now, it's radio silence and it feels like your punishing me. I don't deserve this. I can't eat, concentrate on work. We haven't had communication since Sun...why are you doing this?

[K2z]

Don't you ever have a moment in your day when you think to yourself, what's happening here is a tremendous mistake? That the universe has shuddered like the back of a horse, and we have inappropriately been shaken loose?

 

Don't you think what I said in my letter, and my plans for making real concrete commitments to you and changes in my life, were sincere?

 

Why can't you at least give us the benefit of the doubt? Do we have to be strangers to each other again? Am I just a footnote in your history?

 

I don't want you to be "Remember When.." I want you to be my here and now. Forever. Roll the dice one last time. Please. You will never regret it.

 

Think. Miss me. Reconsider. I am planning for the moment you do.

[Draper]

Your happiness was always the most important thing to me, you know that. I put in front of my own happiness, and I still try to do that.

 

That's why I'm not 'angry' that you walked away. It hurt me like hell to see you go, but I can't be mad at someone for doing what they think is best for happiness. I just wish you had the courage to tell me the truth. I know your depression is real, I've seen it, but in this moment I feel like you used it as en excuse to 'lessen the blow' to my feelings when you left.

 

I hope you find whatever happiness I couldn't give you. Although, i have a pretty good idea what that was - I wasn't willing to be a party boy with you. I'm fine having fun once in awhile, but I'm not going to spend every weekend getting wasted and chasing concerts. Maybe he will. The sad part is, that kind of happiness can't last forever - we all know this, we have to grow up sometime. I thought you were ready for that. You wanted to live together, you talked about getting married and having kids. Hell, most of the time it seemed like you were even more serious about this than me.

 

I guess that's why I'm hurting so damn much. You told me all these things and now, all of the sudden, I feel like I'm worthless to you. I feel like you threw to the curb like a bag of trash and never looked back. It kills me because I know I was good to you. I put my heart, soul, blood, body, everything into being with you, and I can't help but feel like you took advantage of that and then slapped me in the face when you left.

 

I'll never get the answers I want, but I hope someday you look back on this and learn not to let the people that love you. Not the ones that treat you right, because despite everything, you do deserve to be treated right. The cost of that? You need to learn how to treat those who love you right. Be honest. Be loyal. Don't have eyes for other guys. You wanna be with someone, settle the hell down and be with them. Until you learn that, you'll never find yourself happy in a committed relationship.

 

I'm staying strong, but in this moment I want nothing more than your arms around me, for you to tell me that you love me, for you to kiss me, or tell me that everything will be alright. I love you more than you could ever know, but I have to let you go. I wish it were different.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

I hope you look back someday and regret how you treated me. I hope you look back someday and feel immense guilt and pain. I hope you look back and remember how much I loved you.

 

I hope someday that I don't care anymore.

 

Right now, I'm in between feeling sad and numb.