Ace799 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 I sent you a b-day card. You dumped me 2 weeks ago but I still sent you a bday card. I needed to send you that card...almost as a closure. I didn't send you a text or an email bc I didn't want to wait for your response...still I wait. I wait for an acknowledgement that you received it..that you don't hate me. I don't know why I should still care considering how callous you were with the break up. I'm struggling really hard right now. I feel like crying every moment of every day. At the end of our relationship you put no effort into our relationship and barely paid attention to me...yet I feel the loss hitting me harder now than when you actually broke up with me. I'm left, for the second time, with no self esteem and a shattered heart. I blame you and I blame me. I can't get over the fact that you could be so angry with me. I just want this pain to go away and right now..time is not on my side. Why is this getting harder to cope with as time goes by? I know the feeling, the pain is just too unbearable to carry on and even worse knowing that the person will never back into my life just kills me. Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Yes...Friends keep telling me that I'm sad because I'm alone not because I miss him. No, I DO miss him. I DO love him and it's excruciating to imagine never being with him again..never see or talk to him again. Despite the difficulty in our relationship, I connected with him and loved him hard for almost 4 years. Suddenly, he's no longer in my life. As I'm typing this, the reality of it is too much to bear. I'm here at work, should be working but I feel like I'm barely able to function. I hope you're able to find some solace in knowing that you're not alone in your misery. I, and so many others, are feeling the same way... Here's to hoping it will all get better for us sooner than later.. I know the feeling, the pain is just too unbearable to carry on and even worse knowing that the person will never back into my life just kills me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ace799 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Yes...Friends keep telling me that I'm sad because I'm alone not because I miss him. No, I DO miss him. I DO love him and it's excruciating to imagine never being with him again..never see or talk to him again. Despite the difficulty in our relationship, I connected with him and loved him hard for almost 4 years. Suddenly, he's no longer in my life. As I'm typing this, the reality of it is too much to bear. I'm here at work, should be working but I feel like I'm barely able to function. I hope you're able to find some solace in knowing that you're not alone in your misery. I, and so many others, are feeling the same way... Here's to hoping it will all get better for us sooner than later.. I feel exactly the same way. Hope you do as well, yeah hopefully and some good fortune, be it with our ex's or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Felicite Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 How can something that was waking beside you everyday, seem so unattainable or so far far away? I wonder what’s in your heart. Tears have dried now. I wonder what you feel, if anything at all. I wonder if I meant anything to you, or if you were/are thinking about me, or if you even can imagine how much I care for you. It's just so hard. And so perfectly clear to me that I truly want you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Quintessence Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I don’t know you anymore. There was a time when I used to know you, but now that time seems so far away. I was your anchor for years, your safety line - you’ve said it yourself - but then you cut me off like I meant nothing. How could you do this? I am almost fascinated by how cold-blooded you were on that day. You single-handedly robbed the years we spent together of all meaning. Now I dare not even go there; the memories bite and claw at me. You’re a leaf in the wind, tossed left and right, carried whichever way the wind of life may decide to blow next. Will you ever rise above this? Will you ever be anything more than that? I was your anchor. I took the brunt of the attack each time the wind grew into a storm, and I did it with a smile. Is this how you thank me? I can’t believe I’m here, on this forum, writing this. The wind will continue to blow, and one day, when the wind becomes a tempest, you will remember your anchor and turn around looking for it, but it won’t be there; I won’t be there. You will learn the hard way, just like you always do. You will learn... Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Still can't believe I'm having to post on here about you, as you're not an ex but someone who doesn't feel the same way I do. But I didn't see you last night and honestly, not seeing you is helping me so much so I'm going to start ignoring you rather then saying hello now. I'm doing this for me, and you've respected my wishes so far so I don't expect anything less. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace799 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 (edited) Today is a week since you last said anything to me when normally we wouldn't even go a day or a couple of hours without speaking. I am trying to move on from you (like my previous post) but it just hurts to know that i've been cut out from your life and you don't seem to care, to think we both thought we would of spent the rest of our lives together. All I want is for us to fix it and find solutions (which we said before there's nothing we cannot fix, apart from cheating which both of us would of never of done that to each other) Broken without you. Edited October 13, 2015 by Ace799 Link to post Share on other sites
MagicRat09 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I feel an urge to contact you, but it comes purely from guilt and not from any genuine desire to hear from you. So I won't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JoelBarish Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 It's been a long time since we talked...since we REALLY talked. But here I am, turning to you. How pathetic. I've just felt so lost lately. Like I don't know what to do with myself. I can't get myself in gear. At times I've tried to be positive and make something of my life but it all seems to go wrong. Why is it that every single thing I try to do is the wrong thing? Maybe it's my fault for getting my hopes too high. It's probably better to keep my expectations reasonable and take things slowly. Success takes work, I suppose. And time. Do I even care about you anymore? Not really. Your lack of respect towards me ended my desire to at least be friendly or civil towards you. I sure don't love you. That ended a long time ago. Honestly, I don't think I even knew who you really were. And I certainly don't know who you are now. I used to be sad that one day we would get over each other and we would just be faces in in a crowd to each other. That day has come and gone and really, I don't care anymore. It wasn't easy to kill off my feelings I had for you but I did. And you helped me do it. No, you weren't kind, helpful or considerate to me. You were hateful, manipulative, cold, childish and selfish. You showed me that what I was holding on to was nothing. And I'm glad I learned that lesson. So why am I writing you after all this time if you mean so little to me? Because I needed someone to talk to in my time of worry. And I am using you. So that's that. Leave me alone. Please stay away from me. Don't text me in the middle of the night anymore. I don't care about your lame excuses. I don't want to "catch up." I don't want to just say "hi." No more lame excuses about finding my number...ect. Just leave me alone. I know your number, I don't want to use it. I don't want to just say "hi." I don't want to "catch up." I don't want to reach out to you when something bad happens. You are no different to me than any random person. So just go away. You know, the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off when you do contact me like that. You're so fricken selfish. It's not like you contacting me gives me false hope anymore. It just upsets me and makes me feel anxious so really, stop. Leave me alone. We are strangers now. You are someone else's problems so **** off! Link to post Share on other sites
Ace799 Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I don't even want to talk to you anymore unless you consider repairing it with me. I know I did wrong but you making out your happy less then 3 weeks after coming out of a relationship with someone you 'said' you wanted to spend the rest of your life with just hurts and then acting cold when we do speak hurts even more. One of these days you'll notice what you lost and come crawling back to me when this can easily be fixed where as honestly I feel confident enough again to find someone else Act happy all you want... Link to post Share on other sites
JFReyes Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 (edited) J., I have some news: I got laid off again, as it happened back in 2013 when we had been 10 years together. Remember how you dumped me after a few months because you couldn't handle the situation? At least that's what you told me, but who knows... The difference this time is that I'm way better prepared because: * I downsized my life and learned to live it that way * My son (whom you disliked) became a young adult, moved out and is no longer a dependant * Learned new work skills and am now more marketable * Have had 2 jobs since then; experience can't be improvised * And best of all, my new gf since a year ago told me she wouldn't run away because of this, and I believe her; instead she's helping me find a new job which you never did try. In the meantime, you've been alone and having trouble with your adult son. Therefore I feel pretty good, confident that this is a temporary setback that won't last long. Just an FYI. As always, I sincerely wish you the best and hope that you do that for me as well. Edited October 15, 2015 by JFReyes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 It was about 6:30am this morning when I was half asleep and felt a near panic-driven urge to text you that I missed you. Then I woke up...angry. F*ck you. You don't deserve my love, my energy and my thoughts. We weren't right for each other but I didn't deserve any of the BS you put me through. You will never fully admit or feel remorse for your actions and that is your burden to bear. I know myself, my heart and I'm proud to say that no matter how much you tried to break me and make me feel like I was the problem in our relationship, I will still stand tall. We were both the problem. The difference between you and me is that I admit my wrongs and have made the effort to change. You never thought you were wrong. I really did love you with all of my heart and I still do. Even though you are the wrong person for me, I still love you. Know that I will do everything I can to move on and stop loving you. Someday, I will forgive you and someday I won't care about all of this anymore but right now, all I can say (over and over again), is... F*CK YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace799 Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 I thought yesterday was going to be one of the last days when I posted on here about you, but now its all came crashing down. She contacted me about the flat situation (which I know needs to be sorted) but I feel I was healing quite nicely until around a couple of hours after that text, it made me notice how much I miss you, love you and care for you where you seemed nice in that text and now I feel back to square one with the healing process. Link to post Share on other sites
nicololi Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 I can't believe you did this. I can't believe these past 6 months you have lied to my face during the most intimate conversations and moments. You will never know how much you broke me. Link to post Share on other sites
Speirling Posted October 17, 2015 Share Posted October 17, 2015 Seriously, did you think it was going to be easy? Click your fingers and I'm going to come running? (ALL OF THE SWEAR WORDS) You are actually kidding me with this. You have said all the perfect things, but if you actually understood, you would understand that YOU HAVE TO WIN ME BACK. I am not the broken mess you left anymore. I am not perfect, but I've come a long way, and definitely further than you have. Your messages are contradictory, you're showing your colours, and you are not as smart as you think you are. If you wanted me back for real, you'd be patient. You'd understand exactly the kind of pain you had caused and you would do everything in your power to put things right. Do you know how I know what you would do in this case? Because I know how I would behave if I'd done this to a person I loved. It takes effort, and actions. If you love someone, you fight. I know you well enough to know that you cannot stand to lose. I'm beginning to think that you don't want me back, you just want to know that you can have me back if you want to. It's not that easy, and I'm smarter than I was. My life is better now, and I'm not risking it for a lonely, sad boy who is terrified that I'm moving on. I would think about it if I believed you were serious. That's really difficult to see right now. If you are serious, don't mess this up. I do not trust you. I'm annoyed at myself for waiting for ur next message. Either commit to it or get the hell out of my life. I don't deserve this, and it's beginning to look like you still don't get that. It's really your loss sweetie. I know it, and if you realise it, then it will probably be too late. If you don't, then you aren't the man I thought you were, and I'm better off. I have got a huge heart that's full of love. You've taught me to give it to someone worthwhile, and to keep some for myself. I want that to be you. But you can't always get what you want. Sxxx Link to post Share on other sites
StrangerThanFiction Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 Back before things got horrible between us, you were home to me. Home for me has never been a place, but a feeling. And you were it. Even after sh*t turned horrible you were still home to me. I knew that you were going to contact me in some way. I felt it building up over the past two weeks. And you did contact me. Just like I know you, you know me and you know I won't reach out to you I don't want you anymore. I may be sad and lonely sometimes, but I'm mostly happy and content without you in my life. I won't wish you and the woman you left me for the best because that would be untrue, but I also don't wish any ill on you. I'm glad we're over and everything between us is now settled. Forever. Goodbye. I'm off to find a new home, but this time it won't be inside of someone else, but in me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Speirling Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Your last message, though full of understanding, told me you needed to see me to be sure you're still In Love with me as you think you are. I don't need to audition for you. I don't want to respond because my anger will seep through. I don't want to play games. This I know to be true, as contradictory as it is, YOU need to win ME back. I deserve to be courted. I don't know what to say, so I've said nothing. Grrrr. Sxxx 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted October 22, 2015 Share Posted October 22, 2015 Last night.. I was pissed off because my social went t*ts up, and when I saw you, the feels came back and I had been drinking. You happened to be in close proximity to me constantly and I couldn't take it so I hit the bar and started drinking and never really stopped. FYI my friend was trying to get you away from me, as you kept trying to stand next to me at the bar. We both weren't expecting you to threaten to scream if he spoke to you again. I saw A, but didn't see you until it was too late so I tried to whisk A away so I could talk to him without you, but you followed me to the bar where as you already know, I lost my **** and shouted at you to f**k off. I'm so stressed right now, these feels, final year, committee duties, it was a bad time for me to drink as it all hit me at once. It doesn't excuse me shouting at you, you looked hurt. We both don't deserve this drama, its not fair on either of us and its always me f*cking up. I am so sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 I'm not looking forward to seeing you later, or having to explain Wednesday night... I will still be avoiding you. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace799 Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 A month its been since you just up and left me. But I really don't care anymore, I've fully moved on from you and i'm happy without you and in a really good place. My life is going really well at the moment, since that first week all I've been doing is self improvement, I look better, i'm working harder at university and i've been far more social then when we was together and before we was. (Didn't know could party so much ) Link to post Share on other sites
Calidude6 Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 I wanna say happy birthday to you!! I really do but I'm fighting not to say it Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 So you don't remember the events of Wednesday night as you had your drink spiked. I'd like to ask whether you're okay but it'd set me back, and your housemate told me that you're fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostweekend Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 I had looked forward to seeing you again after all this time. The moment came and went. We talked and we hugged. I´m left with a feeling of sadness and relief. Sadness that you didn´t live up to who and what I thought you were. That feeling of waiting for all that time only to be disappointed! It´s my own fault. Who am I to expect anything from someone I really don´t know too well. Who am I to create a persona or personality and attach it on someone when I have very little to back it up with, except for the image you project. The relief is that I can finally let you go. My curiosity is gone and I see you in a different light. YES, you are very attractive, still. Only thing is that after observing and spending some time with you, I really don´t like you! Your personality is shallow and you come across as vain. So incredibly self centred. In addition, the people you associate yourself with.... I can´t even comment on it! Good looks can only get you so far. My only regret is pining for someone or something that isn´t there and never really existed, for too long. Time I will never get back! It´s my own fault. You were YOU all along but time and distance didn´t allow me to see this until now! Won´t do the whole, I wish you all the best and good luck. I really don´t care and it feels great! Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Had a dream about you last night. It's been a long time. They say if we are meant to be together we will be. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen. Back to my past you go. Link to post Share on other sites
Erlaad Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Dear B, f*ck you. Seriously, f*ck you. You disgusting little kid. Everything you always cared for was yourself. Everything you told me was a lie, a sugarcoat you used to justify yourself. You used me as a means to try something new and as soon as something didn't go according to your little dream, you bailed out. I gave you my everything, I just couldn't say "I love you". It wasn't you, I needed time. Time to remove my barrier, time from the past hurts, time to get my **** together. But no, it doesn't matter, right? No matter how I treated you with respect, gave you as much space as I could, tried never to fight, to listen to you, I even tried to CHANGE in order to meet your F*KING needs. And what did I get for that? Nothing but pain and misery. F*ck you. I hope you find someone that you fall in love with and treats you like dirt, like you're a toy, like you treated me. I hope he takes your heart and shatters it to small little pieces and drops a dump on it. My only regret is that I fell and phoned you one last time to tell you I wasn't coming to that stupid faire with you. F*ck your faire and f*ck you. You can go with your little friends if you care so much about them, I'm sure you all little kids get along together. So please, go die. Sincerely, S Link to post Share on other sites
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