Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Silver_star]

It's been over a month and a half since the break up. Afterward we talked every few days over whatsapp, and I wanted to have a real conversation from him why he broke up with me that made sense to me because he kind of blindsided me one day when I went to see him (hes long distance). Our relationship was going great up until 2 weeks before our visit where he went through some hard things emotionally with his family. I asked him to open up to me about it if he wanted or needed and was trying to be supportive but he pretty well shut down, and then when I visited he said he felt "disconnected" from me and being with me felt weird now.

 

 

I ended up deleting whatsapp, and now all I have him on is my Facebook. He ended up elaborating a bit on FB that he was attracted to other girls and developed feelings for them before the time I came to visit, and it scared him and made him feel guilty, so he broke up with me. I tried to get him to talk about it with me instead of breaking up, but he was pretty resolute that this was what needed to happen.

 

 

After I left, I told him I needed to not talk to him for a while, to have the emotional space to move on. He still says he misses me and he is not sure what the future holds and still wants to be "friends" and wants to come visit me again sometime. He said he needs to figure his feelings out still. He keeps leaving me little life lines and breadcrumbs as if our relationship isn't over and its really hard for me to move on with this. Part of me wishes he would just cut me out completely. So I knew for sure he was done with me. A clear rejection.

 

 

I told him I cant be his friend right now because I don't see him as a friend. My heart still hurts and I still miss him. I told him I couldn't be happy for him and his life if he is moving on, and so I needed time before I should be talking to him. Every time I try to shut the door and accept what he wanted...he drops some more comments to make me think he is just very confused and is going to come back to me later in life with hopes we will be together.

 

 

I want to ask him, one last time, if he has romantic feelings for me now or if he just misses talking to me? I don't know. I am confused and I've been doing as good as I can with this.

 

 

I got to 6 days NC last week and then he contacted me on Thursday again. He just makes small talk.

[JFReyes]

Hi again J,

 

Just a quick followup on my previous post...

 

Just got a new job with slightly better pay and a much better environment than the last one. Hope you're doing well...

 

Cheers!

[K2z]

P { margin-bottom: 0.08in; } To the Sister and Brother in Law:

 

 

 

I know that it may be highly irregular, and possibly more than slightly awkward or inappropriate to contact you directly. That said, I am very well aware of how important a role you and the family play in K's life and I hope you will understand.

 

 

K has severed most contact to me. My goal is not to contradict anyone's wishes, K's or yours, but rather just to achieve some sense of peace in my heart and calibrate what is possible.

 

 

I love K with my entire being. I tried so hard to build our future together in a real, organic and lasting way. I made mistakes and misjudgements, but I am not a bad guy or villain.

 

 

There has been miscommunication between myself and K. I believe K painted a much more bleak image of my feelings for herself, and in her conversations with you, than was ever the case in reality.

 

 

I know that a Thai extended family decides things together, shares together, sacrifices together. Please don't rule me out as a part of K's life, and of this family. Please give me the chance to build out this family with K. I am so sorry for my hesitation and slowness before.

 

 

More or less since Springtime, when you began hosting K, I have been disconnected from basic information about how she is doing and so on. At first that's called trust, because family knows best. But I respectfully wish to put forth that as someone who built three years of life on a trajectory to being in this family, that to be clotured from what is happening is pretty hurtful.

 

This is pretty much what happened in late June. I trusted her, and you.

 

 

In the time since then, I think the whole Denmark vacation was designed to pull me away and to set up someone else, in this particular case a guy named "L" if I am not mistaken.

 

 

I think it's great that you set up your friend and that you love your sister but one thing you might not have realized is that there is a real man with a real heart here, that can be broken. Just because I don't live in the same Danish village or whatever, doesn't mean I don't have big ambitions and big joys I want to create for K and the whole family.

 

 

I am so hurt by you all.

[Ellie35]

It's been four and half months since you, a coward made that phone call. I hit the gym at 7.00 every morning. I have weekends and holidays booked for next year. I have more friends and am busy all the time.

 

However, I do wish you would stop intruding on my dreams and on my thoughts. I have nothing to say to you and wish you well in the future. I am done with conversations, thoughts and dreams of you. I am writing this down hear because I am moving on and feeling good about it!!! It's time, I forgive you for not being the man I thought or wanted you to be. I thought you had more integrity and character but a man who emotionally and physically abuses women does not possess them qualities. I am sorry that you don't but wish me well in finding a man who does. And please stop listening to your dry drunk poisoness mate who bitches about his wife, he is not a true friend and doesn't want the best for you!!

 

So, farewell for now love shackers and thank you! And to the man I loved and cared about; may you be well, may you be happy and may you be safe from harm.

 

My promise to myself is that I will no longer allow you into my mind , my ego has recovered and my self esteem and confidence is back. I will not mention your name in conversations anymore.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

I woke up this morning with a deep ache and longing for you. I miss you. You don't deserve that from me..espeically not with the way you handled our break up. You dishonored everything that we had together. I've been re-reading my old journal entries so that I can remind myself why it's better that we are no longer together..but it hardly helps.

 

Much of the time I felt unhappy, neglected and underappreciated with you. And still, I can't help but remember your smile, the good memories..the things I cherished in our relationship. They're so precious to me but I can't keep holding on bc it's delaying my healing.

 

Honestly, I've been doing well but at the most unexpected times I will feel a deep painful ache remembering you. I don't want a relationship with you but I still love you. It's such a ****ing odd thing to reconcile what's in my head and heart when they are at odds each other. All I wanted was your love and for you to be devoted to a healthy loving relationship with me. I tried my best with us.

 

I need to move on. It's been 1.5 months since you left and it really is all for the best but my emotions remain stuck on a neverending replay. Love, care, sadness, disappointment, anger..replay.

 

At this very moment, I feel like crying again. I was bright, happy and joyful for the last week but right now, I feel like breaking down again. All I want is for you to come to me, a changed man, full of remorse and declare your never-ending love for me. I should be hoping and dreaming for someone better suited for me..someone who would give me all that you couldn't...or wouldn't, but I'm still stuck on you.

 

I'm feeling very weak today and mustering all the energy in me to not break down. I am focusing on loving myself today and trying to erase you.

Edited November 11, 2015 by seekingpeaceinlove

[anonymousbear00101100]

It's only day 2 of NC and I miss you a ton. I still love you, in the sense that I really truly care for your well being, even if I don't want to be with you. I miss talking to you about stupid stuff. I miss waking up with a good morning text on my phone, and texting you all the way until goodnight. Do you realize we did that ever single day for 3 years? Wow, you've been a huge part of my adult life. In fact I can't remember a time that we weren't together.

 

You weren't very mature, and your incessant complaining got really old really fast. We argued a lot, and its easy to tell we weren't right for each other when we let the other's bad day put us in a bad mood, usually starting some sort of verbal conflict. It may have only been 5 minutes long each time, but it happened maybe 5 days a week.

 

We loved each other. We fought. We broke up. We got back together 4 times. I always fought for you, for us. I didn't want to break up, I didn't want to feel this way, so I denied the true reality of our relationship. You were always stronger when it came to this stuff, but it still hurts knowing that you're sad over me and I can't do a single thing about it.

 

I have a fear that you're going to realize that you still want me back, and that you're going to fight for me for the first time. I don't know what I'd do if that happens. I really hope you're happy and have found someone better for you, because the idea of getting back together gives me very mixed emotions. I wish I knew it would never be an option and that this is truly what you want. You've always been so wishy washy on your feelings, how can I trust that in two weeks you're not going to be extremely heartbroken?

[superdub]

Yeah. It's been a year. Almost exactly.

 

It's weird, man.

 

I had this weird glimmer of hope that you were looking for me...but I was wrong.

 

No clue why it still sucks or why none of the grieving things work on you.

 

I probably owe you apologies, but I wouldn't know how to reach you if I tried looking.

 

I hope you are okay...no, I hope you are great! You deserve it.

[William]

As of 11/12/2015, moderation has closed this thread and started a new one on this topic, which can be found at this link:

 

No Contact Support Thread

 

Thanks!