Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[saturnfell]

I'm mad at myself. I wish I had never contacted you. I was completely fine, you would travel in and out of my thoughts, but not too much. Then I saw you. You saw that I was fine, and it bothered you. Is that why (so I've found) you lied to me. No matter how you explain it, you lied to me. It was like a scene from a movie: girl goes to ex's house, talks, laughs, girl is fine, ex decides he misses her and wants to see if things can work out. Girl is caught off guard, takes a minute to process, BAM... girl cries, shock and is so happy!

 

Yea, well, the movie just ended because you're a jerk and quite honestly, I don't care about you. Everyday I would tell myself I could do this anymore. You're a fool as well. You lie to yourself. Each day we were together was great. You are just too consumed with fear to open your eyes. You know how much I cared for you, it was obvious! You make my self worth go out the window and that just isn't right! YOU can't do this, this won't work for YOU?! Well, wake up! It's so easy for you to say YOU don't care, well, I don't care.

[Butterfly01]

I woke up this morning and realized that I can’t be your friend. I still love you too much.

 

I’ve been putting on a brave face for the last month listening to you talk about “her” and it has been eating me up inside. I can’t do it anymore. I’m sorry.

 

After all we’ve been though in the last 6 years you decided that we were better as best friends, and I was so pathetic and desperate to keep you in my life, that I agreed.

 

I know I should have gone NC but I was afraid it wouldn’t bother you – that it would give you the out you were looking for, so I continued on emailing you good night every day like we used to, being funny, being a friend. But I it backfired on me, didn’t it? You have gone NC on me instead – you have completely cut me out of your life. Oh sure I get the odd “have a nice day” and “hope you are well” text and email, but they are so generic and lacking in any kind of emotion that I would rather not even get them.

 

How could you do this to me? After everything we have been though, how could you just move on and leave me behind without a second thought? Did the last 6 years mean nothing to you? We would talk for hours every night and now in a heartbeat, you don’t have 5 minutes to call “a friend”?

 

I can’t do this anymore, it hurts too much. I can’t degrade myself into believing I am still a part of your life or will ever be again. You have moved on and I wish I could hate you, but I can’t do that either.

 

I need to think about how to say goodbye to you -- to the person who I thought was my soul mate – to the person who I still think about every waking moment. I can’t go on thinking about you with her, about what you are doing, about you holding her and making love to her, about you planning your future together.

 

I miss you. I miss us. I miss my best friend.

 

I love you and I always will.

[famke]

I love you very much, J.

but you've hurt me so much. I don't think I can stay friends with you. at least not now. maybe in a couple of months or even years.

thank you for the memories. for the good times. and especially the bad.

I've learned so much from this. I know I had to go through this, to learn those lessons. take care James.

[jc]

So I don't want YOU anymore. And that's a relief. We just could not be together after how mean you were at the end. Plus the fact that you are not a happy person, you never wanted to do anything other than sit on the couch and watch tv, and you had real issues with money. I know all these things. But a little part of me still misses you. Watching you put on your socks. The way you rubbed noses when we kissed. But pretty much everything is a memory of how great you WERE, not ARE. Opening the truck door for me (but you stopped that). Taking me out for dinner (but you started making me feel guilty for that). How much you loved me and admired me (and that's definitely not true anymore). The only other part of me that misses you is just remembering all the fun stuff that we did together: camping in the backyard in the summer, going out on the boat, watching tv/movies and cuddling on the couch, walking my dog in the park across from your house, flying the kite. But those are things that I'll do with someone else someday soon. The right person. And the list of fun things will be even longer because that person will be interested in doing different things. When I say, "How about cross-country skiing?", He'll say "Yeah!".

 

I'm sorry that things did not work out between us. I did really love you. And I think you really did love me at some point. But I've been through this before and love is just not enough. I cannot be the only thing that makes you happy, I just can't. You need to find happiness inside yourself first. That's what I'm trying to do right now (and I'm doing pretty good by the way, surprisingly even with all of this heartbreak, I'm still HAPPY. Because I had more than just you in my life that made me happy. And with you gone, those other things are still there. My family. My friends. Reading. Piano. My dog. My spiritual life. My job. Travelling. I'm so far from empty).

 

I hope you learn some lessons from this, just like I have. But I doubt it.

[skinman]

D.

 

thought I would write you its been a while since the last time... When I saw you today you looked good.. the best I have seen you in a while.. I wanted to tell you that but I didnt, I know you dont care what I think or how I feel anymore... I often wonder if you think of me.. ? do you think of us.. I find it so hard not to think of us ... 15 years together is a long time to just quit caring.. I wonder how you did it so easily... Almost effortless you stopped loving me.... I wish I had the strength that you do... Sometimes a thought of you will cross my mind and I can recall all the nasty and hurtfull things you said to me... I can then put the thought off... then there are other times when I cant get you off my mind..

 

You are such a part of my soul I cant forget you or even hate you for what you have done.. I know in time you will be nothing nore than a memory... that is the day I long for when a thought of you will come and go through my mind without affecting me one way or the other... That must be how you feel now with your indifference to all that we shared and felt for each other....I hope one day to find someone to take your place in my heart... Right now you occupy all of it and there is no room for another until I can get you out of it.... I can forgive you for what you have done... but i will never forget what you have said to me... never in all that has happened I have never told you I hate you... How could you hate me , how can you hate someone that would have done anything for you gievn his life for you...... Only to be treated like I was beneath you I dont understand how you could feel this way.......

 

I will always love you D like I said before ... I will always be there for you no matter what happens in the rest of our life......

 

You were and are the only one for me.........

 

R.

[saturnsfall]

When you left me initially, you left me broken hearted. Things spiraled out of control for me. I didn't know what to do or where to turn. All of these things I felt, while you were so ruthless and rude. You wouldn't look me in the eyes, everything you said to me was worse than the previous, all you would say were terribly mean things. One day, I guess you could say I'd had it. I couldn't take one more conversation of all the things I knew you would say to me. That first week of not speaking with you was so difficult. The next week was difficult as well, but I made it through.

 

Then, an old flame of mine came back into my life, really out of nowhere. I had, had a wonderful weekend. It was nice to see old friends again. Later that week, you dropped a few things off at my house. I didn't want to speak to you. When you were leaving it looked as though you had something to say, but I didn't look at you, I just turned and walked away. I felt guilty for having done that. I'm not the type. I called you later and talked to you about my ex. I told you about the weekend. I don't know what you were thinking during the conversation, you'll never admit your feelings. A couple days later, when I woke-up, I wanted to see you. I hadn't felt like this for weeks. I called you, we spoke and made plans. I just wanted to see you, hangout, that was all. We had a great conversation. You brought up our relationship, you said you wanted to try things, you said you still cared. You caught me off guard. I never thought I'd hear anything along those lines from you. I wonder what prompted you to feel that way. I will probably never know because you hide your feelings from yourself.

 

We continued on the next couple of weeks. Spending time together, each time was wonderful. This went one for a couple weeks. I thought, honestly, that in time we would slowly gain momentum. However, one day last week, you closed it down. You were having a bad day at work the night we had plans. When I arrived you were quite rude, and I felt like I did when we initially broke up. You again, would not look me in the eyes and everything you said to me was harsh. I should have walked away when you rude, but I didn't. I was so mad at you, not sad or hurt, mad. I couldn't believe we were back to where we started. Do you have any idea? You said when we're not together reality sets in. Well, reality has set in for me for awhile now, and you're still the same mean man you were when you initially left me! Forgive and forget, whatever! You're always so negative and mean I can't stand it. I was so mad, I called you the next day. You were at work, so of course you were stressed. Our conversation lasted one minute if that. You hungup on me. I guess you felt bad because later that day, I had an email from you. You didn't say anything nice in the email, so I really don't know why you bothered, but you did.

 

I understand how hard it is to forgive someone, I understand how difficult is it to think of things ever getting better, I understand all that! But you know what... I can't just throw you away. Maybe I want to most of the time, but how about this, when reality sets in for me, YOU'RE STILL THERE! Regardless, good or bad.

 

I'm supposed to see you. Each other time I've seen you, I've been so happy. I want so badly, to treat you like you treated me the last time I saw you. Answer the door and just turn and walk away. Be neutral and not show any emotion. I want you to understand how it is to be treated as you treated me. A non caring attitude, out of nowhere, when everyother time you were so happy to see me and spend time with me. I don't think I can do that though. I'm not that heartless a person. If I do that, i'm lying to myself. I think you understanding how you've hurt me would best be explained by me being me, happy.

 

Maybe you didn't like when I told you about my ex. Maybe you became scared. I'm there, even though I went NC for a few weeks, I know you knew in your heart I was still there. Even when I saw you the other day, the day you were so rude. You said you knew if we stopped talking, I would call again. What nerve! You don't know anything. If we ever did stop talking again, that would be it. There would not be any more chances. I would not make the same mistake again.

[FrustratedEnergy]

Ugh!!!!!!!!!!

[Joyvke]

*opens her arms and offers everyone that needs it a hug*

 

 

/hug

[FeedingOnFever]

I will take you up on that! *hug*

[FeedingOnFever]

Aw, Butterfly. I know what you mean. I've been tempted to stay friends with my ex just to have him in my life somehow. Stay strong and keep up the NC. It's hard but it's for the better. At least you tried and now you know that you can't do it, but you gave it your effort.

[jc]

So today was hard...it's been almost a month and a half since the break up and almost 3 weeks of NC, so why did I miss you so much today??? It doesn't make sense. I don't know if I'm even really missing YOU as much as I am missing having someone special in my life. But every day for as long as it takes, I'm going to work on emptying my cup, I'm going to try to forgive you and myself. I'm going to release sadness and pain. I'm going to work on loving myself. And the space that I free up will be just perfect for true love to come into my life. There's just no room right now with you filling me up with grief!

 

So beginning today: I forgive you for the hurtful things you said about my appearance during the relationship.

 

One tsp freer.

[D-Lish]

Aw, Butterfly. I know what you mean. I've been tempted to stay friends with my ex just to have him in my life somehow. Stay strong and keep up the NC. It's hard but it's for the better. At least you tried and now you know that you can't do it, but you gave it your effort.

 

It always turns out to be a bad idea:o The friendship thing just can't happen, it's idealistic, but never realistic.

 

I've been in NC since Saturday night. I remained entangled with a guy I broke up with just before x-mas- just couldn't shake him from my system.

 

We had plans to hang out Sat night and he cancelled and asked to re-schedule... then text me back at 10pm and asked if I wanted to hang out afterall...

 

I came to the realization that I wasn't going to participate anymore, so I turned my cell off after that last text and haven't turned it back on since.

 

I miss him a little... No phone = no temptation though.

[FeedingOnFever]

The anger is seeping out of me. It feels like blood leaving a mortal wound, although that makes me cringe due to the melodrama. Seriously though, I feel like holding on to that anger was the healthiest thing I could do to myself. But there you have it; that's how I am. I cannot stay angry.

 

I still hate her... I might always severely dislike her. She was never my friend, so when she stabbed me in the back I lost no love for her. My bond with you was so much deeper, which is why my inability to hold onto this indignation is killing me. I need to remember that I owe you nothing, that what you did was cowardly and wrong, and that you have STILL yet to man up to me and apologize. You're a human. You ****ed up, and you're suffering for it. You're a wreck, everyone sees it. It plays on my pity like it's an instrument and you're Stravinsky.

 

Seeing you upset destroys me bit by bit. I hate caring about you. But I don't hate you. And that's why I'm forcing myself to wait until February 1st - Imbolc - to send you the message that says "I'm not going to kill you, you know. You've given me space like I asked and I thank you for it. I don't hate you. I just need more time away from you, but you don't have to be afraid of me or anything."

 

Another short and simple message, to the point. I asked myself today "If you were in a horrible accident tomorrow, would I want him to still think I hate him?" The answer is no. I instinctively want peace. I want people to be mellow, neutral... okay with me and okay with each other. Not blissfully harmonious, just... not tortured, either. I hate pain and I hate people being in pain. Even you. Especially you, because I have the power to relieve some of your guilt.

 

Some of my friends, and even some of me says don't relieve it. Let him squirm for a bit, you owe him nothing. Take your space, take your time. This is about you. He can pull his **** together on his own. If he cared about you, he'd approach you and say sorry.

 

Yet, I did tell him under no uncertain circumstances to stay away from me. I'm told he wants to apologize but is staying away like I asked him to. Torn is the word of the hour, the word of the month. Get my closure, get my apology, but have to break NC and reach out in order to do so? Or let him keep thinking I hate him when my anger bleeds out of me more and more every day, despising the feeling that he thinks I'll pop out of a bush and murder him. I hate people not knowing how I feel. He doesn't deserve to know if he won't reach out - but he won't reach out if I tell him to stay away.

 

Dilemma. Simple solution; wait until time has healed this wound of mine so well that I don't need that apology. Let him deal with him, and if/when the time is right, THEN reveal that I won't steal his kidneys in his sleep. Say it when it's for the right reasons, not the wrong ones. Simple solution, but so many other factors are involved. So much desire to just neutralize the situation and move on with my life. And yet so much reluctance to make any moves towards him at all.

 

Until it's for the right reasons. Maybe by Feb 1. I'll check in with myself again by then. If not, maybe by March, his birthday. A "thanks for the space. I'm not mad at you" text would be the best gift I could give, I bet. If not, maybe by summer. "It's been 6 months. I hope you're doing well. Thanks for respecting my wishes and giving me space."

 

I'm a nice person by nature. I delight in making peace. But I need to protect myself too. I'll check in later... and I'll wait for now.

[ATR]

So you dumped me to be with that guy who you promised nothing would ever happen with. Oh right... cool. Whatever.

I've met a girl i really like, she's awesome, we share allot of interests... namely films. I really want to get to know her well and share time with her which you threw away. Well you're not having any of my time anymore, you don't deserve it. I would have never put myself in the situation where i would dump you for another girl. I had too much respect for you, i wanted us to be together for a long time. You obviously didnt.

I don't even know if i want to be friends with you after all of this, after the way you treated me.

[ahhhchooo]

It certainly was a journey.

 

I'll never forget you.

 

Au revoir...

[sinkerswim]

I love you forever and ever.

please realize the mistake you are making.

[crackerjax9]

**** you. youll regret it and you know it.

[D-Lish]

eff YOU, you slimy little piece of sh*t.

 

I'm done with you, just leave me alone and stop contacting me. I'm sick of your bullsh*t, and I'm sick of you thinking you can contact me whenever it suits you.

[onemorecupofcoffee]

So you IMed me today. I wasn't there but you said you felt like we were playing the "who says hi first" game. We were, I won. Considering the last time we talked, I thought I'd let you make the first move. You're the one that broke it off, so you're the one that needs to start it up again, not me.

 

How can we ever be friends, huh? We were never friends. We were always... us. And I miss you so bad. I still think about all the things we could have worked through together. All the things that you just need to figure out... but at the same time I know you need to figure them out on your own. Maybe one day we'll reconnect, maybe we never will. All I know is that at this point in time, I still think we could have been very happy together. I think that if only you knew that relationships were work on both sides, that you have to think about the OTHER person as well as yourself... if you knew how to make me happy like I have made you happy, we would have been the greatest couple ever.

 

I am nervous and excited for tomorrow evening, because I know you have that time to yourself and you can go online. I'm nervous because maybe you won't. I'm excited because maybe you will. I'm both because I'm imagining what we'd say if we were. This sounds so lame but I relate to all these episodes of Sex and the City... we broke up because it just got so hard. I just hope you remember how into us I was... how willing I was to work through anything, and how you were the one who didn't try, and just gave up because it wasn't a fairytale anymore for a moment.

 

I just hope you have the guts to tell me whenever you stop having feelings for me. You ended it so cruelly... telling me you still had feelings. You even said, "don't think I dont..." as if you were ordering me to cling to my hope... my love. Why would you be so cruel.

 

There's nothing I want more than for you to move up here. For us to spend days getting to know each other, having fun, taking things slow. No more rush, no more plans. Just a slow, steady progression forward.

 

I'm busy these days, keeping busy and not thinking of you except at nights. I'm not going to lie, I wanted to tell you, it's been hard. But I didn't say that. I'm not going to admit how hard it's been, how much I miss you when I wake up in the mornings and realize it wasn't a nightmare, we really did break up. And how I have to spend five minutes lying in bed, giving myself the same speech about how it happened for the best; it happened for a reason. It came naturally and I'm lucky it went so smoothly. That now there are more possibilities out there and you can have your chance to grow. The same speech to get me to get out of bed each morning and start my day.

 

It's been hard, don't think it hasn't. Please know it's hard for me, even though I'll never tell you that.

[Sbrizio]

Just let me forget you.

 

I'm sick of thinking of you.

Of having to see your BF smiling face.

Of hearing his jokes.

 

And then you text me in the middle of the night.

 

Get the f***ing hell out of my life.

 

....sh*t. I feel i'm back 25 days.

And i've done no mistakes.

Thanks a lot, really.

Holy sh*t!

[not_a_happy_camper]

please contact me. please let me know you still care. please let me know you want to give us a chance. just talk to me about it. i miss you more than anything. i can't forget you when there's so much left to say.

 

i want to tell you i think i was hard on you and i'm sorry. i realise i had a part in all of this too, and i'm sorry if it seemed like i landed all the blame on you. i was so angry over what happened. deservedly so. but we could fix this. just let me know you want to try.

[skinman]

Dear D.

 

well its been almost 3 months now since you asked me to move out. Since then you have said some of the most hurtfull things blaming me for the collapse of our 16 year marriage. How could you blame me for it all ? you know you were not perfect and had a big part in it too... I have thought a lot about you, lately wondering whether or not you ever think of me, think of us how could you not after being together for so long... We were almost like one you and me, how did it all go so wrong so fast?.... You know I would have done anything for you D. yet you still hold so much anger and bitterness towards me.. I have loved you more than anything or anyone yet you cant see that. you think you will find someone else that will be your everything.... I hope you realize one day just what you lost.. You may never but something tells me you will realize just how much you meant to me.

 

To think our family has been torn apart because of your selfishness it breaks my heart.... I will always care for you D.. thats a given, holding out hope that maybe oneday you will see me for the man that you fell in love with.. I cant promise that I would take you back but you will always be in my heart and mind....... I wish you the best D... and I wish you many days of regret wondering if you made the right choice........

[Hersheys]

Things are getting better and looking bright.

 

I don't want to go back to you anymore. I want to finally stop hurting from you. I'm done waiting and hoping for you. I'm done thinking about who you're with. I want to finally feel that I'm done with all the bs that you put me through. I want to finally feel nothing from you.

 

I can't believe that I've been putting up with and settling for your scraps and bs for YEARS. Yuck!

 

You've been nice and attentive but you put me in the backburner. How stupid of me to think that there could be so much more than what you are telling me. I realize now that they were all just lies and bs meant to boost your ego. I was sooo fckn stuuupid!

[techfan]

It's been less than two weeks since the breakup and while I am extremely heartbroken amongst other things I want to honestly be able to say I will love you forever. But i dont think that is the case.

 

We had great times and I loved being with you. I thought you might be my wife someday. I thought we might raise a family. I know we weren't perfect and I know we have lacked communication from the distance in my job the past few months but that doesn't mean i didn't want to try. I love you more than i've ever loved anyone or anything and it kills me to see you walk away. But I know my love is real and everything else is just noise and bull****. I want your happiness before mine so if you can't be happy with me, i hope you can find someone else who will be perfect for you.

 

Love is easy but relationships take loads of work. I wish you had it in you to put forth the effort to make us stronger than before, but you dont. You don't want it. You've removed yourself too far from the relationship already and then slammed me with the news...... thats not teamwork. Thats not healthy.

 

I know i will run into you again soon by accident im sure. It will almost kill me. I am trying to accept the pain and feel it, if nothing else it makes me know i am alive.

 

I hope you find your white knight. Because apparently im not him.

[stoneymirror]

It's been 2 months now since you dumped me. I'm still really pissed and angry about how you went about doing it. I can't believe I fell for all your crap, makes me wonder if you ever really cared about me. Wonder if you were cheating on me. All my thoughts of you are bad ones now, just confirming you as a lier. Why was I so stupid to believing you were a good person, I gave you the benefit of the doubt way too many times. I really think you've got a lot to learn about how you need to treat people in this world. Some day this will come back and haunt you, and Karma is a biatch. I gave you everything and I'm sure I could have improved on some things but being with you was like taking care of a child, you always wanted everything and it still wasn't enough. You could never communicate your feelings and always ran from any sort of controversy. I did love you as a person, but I've found you weren't relationship material. Either you weren't mature enough or your insecurities always got the best of you, in either case it's over. 2 yrs down the drain, and I haven't a good thought of you at all. You really know how to end on a bad note, can't believe you can even pass yourself off as a good person like you do when you're so cold hearted and thoughtless about anyone else but yourself. Goodluck taking care of yourself cause it looks like that's the only thing you're good at.