Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[lost_one_01]

Ms. Brat

 

Not sure what happened. All I know is I fell in love with you first time I talked to you. Never felt so comfortable with someone or that I felt I knew you for all my life, even before we met. Where did it all go wrong?

 

Do you remember 2 years ago this week was first time we meet in person and went on vacation together? Remember walking along the beach and seeing a small boy digging to "china" and us both laughing saying that will us with our children one day? Remember how many time we said we love each other all week and how we cried when you had to fly back home? Did you even think about that at all...I really do not want to know...that would crush me more if that is possible.

 

Yes it was a LDR...maybe we did not see each other enough. I even forgave you when you cheated..it was because of distance. But why did you tell me you loved me and wanted to grow old with me??...was that a lie? Remember we wanted to be the 80 year old couple that still held hands when we walked together? I had to throw away the cards were you said that...it was torture reading that

 

Last year took a toll on me..this on and off. I feel bad you did not have the best life growing up but I can't pay for that all the time. I tried to be there as best I could but I can't fix it for you, only you can do that. You said it did not bother you that your family does not love you but that is so far from the truth. The hot/cold was draining me. You said I leave you like everyone else but you pushed me away. I loved you like I never loved anyone else. You had my heart and soul and I gave you all I could. Towards the end you gave me nothing but hurt and pain. I did not deserve that at all...I am not perfect but no one is...I would have given you the world if it was mine to give. There was nothing I would not have done to show you that people do love with no conditions.

 

I admit I looked and said you found your dream man already on your profile. That was only one month after 3 years together. You said you needed to heal..well I see you healed very quickly. I can tell you it ripped my heart out even more if that was possible. Yes that email I sent was hurtful..but not as much as you hurt me. I am not trying to hate you but you could have told me long ago you were not happy. There was no need for this...we are both in our 40's...not some worked up teenagers. I do wonder if you think of me at all...not that it matters now. I can't wish you happiness either...fact of it is I want someone to hurt you like you hurt me and see what you put me through. You broke me physically and mentally..I hate thinking of you from moment I wake up till when I go to bed. Please stop renting space in my head.

 

Pathetic as this is I miss you so much and love you with all my heart and soul. Sad to say that was not enough for you. I can't even think of looking for someone else now...you were my soul mate...even in the worst times. I hope I can recover...at least where I can smile and mean it. It is so hard to smile when your insides are all twisted and broken. Maybe one day you will look back and see what you missed out on. Maybe I am only giving myself false hope with that. I will always think of you...can't lie and say I will forget you as much as I want to. I hope you can sense me writing this..even for a second.

 

Your Mr. Man

[missy555]

i just need to get through these 24hrs and be strong enough for no contact.

 

Today i had to put all my clothes back into my parents home...

that was so difficult that i cried throughout the whole time.

 

Will you ever know how that feels?

Will you ever know how many sacrifices

I have done for you ...for us?

 

I want to go out and do stuff today but my body

is so aching from our physical fight... that i can't

even think about changing clothes.

 

I have a constant headache from the bump in my head.

 

You started a new job today and I bet its keeping you well

distracted. I don't mean bad for you but I am

jealous that you get to keep busy while i have a long weekend

all alone to steep in thoughts of how WE WENT WRONG.

 

I hope to be strong enough to not text you today.

 

Why am i so weak? Why do i keep hurting myself?

Why do all my thoughts keep going to you?

 

sigh...

ENJOY your day...enjoy meeting new people...

enjoy not thinking about me.

[Graduate]

I feel so pathetic for saying this, because I already told you to contact me if you ever want to hang out, and you haven't. So I guess that means you don't want to hang out.

 

But I miss you so much and in light of the fact that we are both leaving soon, here goes nothing:

 

Do you want to hang out with me some time before we leave? I would really love to see one more time and forget for a moment that we are over and that very soon I will probably never see you or hear from you ever again.

 

I can't believe you didn't tell me that you were leaving. If I did not find out by coincidence you would just be gone one day. You have no idea how much this sucks.

[wanda_t]

j,

i never thought it would actually come this far between us. what happened? where did it all go? i wish everything would have turned out differently.

no contact for..forever. it's been so long. and i want you to write me, i desperately do, just to feel that i have not been forgotten.

you're leaving tomorrow for two weeks. if you don't write now, then you won't write for two weeks, i know that. for another two weeks. it would be the longest NC we ever had. but it already is now, isn't it? and still, i'm the one counting the days..two weeks more, and i couldn't possibly stand it.

i don't know why you have the effect on me that you do have, but it amazes me over and over again.

like today, when i watched this one film..i had to think of you and i got goosebumps all over. something i would have wanted to tell you about. something that would have still been possible if it hadn't all turned out differently. hadn't it all turned out wrong and grey, empty.

i understand you need time. just let me know you're alive. something. anything. and i know i shouldn't be writing any of this...i just can't help myself.

i wish you well, and i hope nothing happens. everything should go well. and you should be happy.

w

[dont_understand]

I just don't understand how a week ago you were telling me how much you love me and now it's been 2 1/2 days since we've spoken.

 

You seemed so emotionless the last time I saw you. It was hard to look at you the same way. You knew about my past when we met and that I was a single mother and you said it didn't bother you. Now that very same guy who once said that I was his first thought in the morning and last thought before he goes to bed, was telling me that he didn't see a future for us. You said you made promises and statements that you didn't even know you could live up to. That you said you could handle my 'situation' without really ever thinking about if you could. How could you do that to me? You're the same man who said my 'situation' wasn't a 'situation' at all...that it made me who I am and that you loved everything about me and that I am an amazing mother and girlfriend.

 

How did meeting your parents bring you to a different conclusion?? Do they not approve of me or is this how you really feel? I believe I will never know the real reasons and you haven't given me any clarity to the situation. I know I am a good person who has a lot to offer and if you want to run like a scared coward because I have a past and some baggage then it's your loss...that's the only thing I'm sure about.

 

You've hurt me and my son more than you'll ever know. I am so disappointed in myself for letting you into our lives only to have you walk away. You promised me you wouldnt hurt me. I asked you over and over again if it was too much...YOU SAID NO...what made you decide otherwise? How could you be so selfish? You said this is the last time I'll hear from you...what is that all about??? A year of our lives and it meant nothing to you??? You're not the person I thought you were.

[BackonTrack2]

I checked your FB page today. Haven't checked it in a while. How come you waited about a year after the breakup to change your status to "in a relationship" if you were cheating on me for a good 8 months? that was odd

 

also, your friends are looking for you, u stopped hanging out with them or something? you OK?

 

i don't want to be with you or anything, but just curious as to how your doing. i wonder if i would stop wondering if i actually knew how you were doing?

 

can't be too good if your MIA..... I wonder if you miss me and the times we had, lol I think you Do.

 

But unfortunately because of the way things ended (in flames) as you predicted.....

the end, nothing... just like that.... i don't tear anymore, i still remember you, i think i'm not over it because, sometimes i still think your a whore.... yeah.... i always knew you were like that, i just never thought i would be so hurt OR what it felt like to be in love with a person like you.

 

i'm in a new relationship, its not the same, i don't really like the girl, i think i'm getting attached, she's always with me, u were always with me too, but i didn't mind you, i hope i am not comparing new girlfriends to this past relationship, if thats the case, i think your on a peidistol in my head, not sure, but i think i actually liked you.....

 

anyway, i've been with what... maybe 8 girls, i liked you the most. I was with you the longest too, atlmost a year.... Damn, I realize now you broke my heart to pieaces, it really messed me up in the head for a long time.

 

anyway thats all, i threw out all your stuff man, everything, i have nothing left of you, whats funny is, you loved me for than i loved you during our time together, but in the end, that couldn't of been true because i was man oh man, utterly destroyed. i didnt know you had that power over me. i was nice to you and i let you push me around because i thought you were my girlfriend and i feel like a fool because of that now, you went the opposite direction.

 

something was wrong with your head.

[LadyV]

I am SO PISSED at you today!!!! Why, I don't know, I mean, we haven't spoken in over a week...I blocked you from everything so I know you can't get a hold of me. What makes me mad is that I was willing to settle for less....You just aren't worth it!!!! You have taken so much of my time...time I have been wasting by crying tears over you! Time I've been wasting by letting my kids see me so upset over you. Time I've been wasting by keeping you and your empty promises in my head....

 

I think it is so funny that you are seeing someone else. You know, the more I think about it, I don't know her, but the way she precieves herself, she is one of those fly by the moment kind of girls...just want you need!!!! But, she also has children, so I wonder how you will react when she wants you to start coming around her and her kids....

 

I am getting through this, I am so glad that I did finally block you out of everything. I am finally worring about me...changing this person who's been hurt into someone with true inner strength!!!!

 

I will not waste anymore time on you! You are NOT worth it!

[Beardy]

You're going to regret doing this I know. This will be the pattern for the rest of your life.

 

But I'm glad you've got the 'control' you sought back and I hope you can use it to sort the rest of your life out. Then maybe you'll come back to me... and we all know I wouldn't hesitate!

 

Take care, good luck and please can I have my car back.

[Nikki Sahagin]

I will never get, WHY people think the grass is greener. What do you think is out there for you, that was stronger, better, more REAL than us? I'm sorry but what, girls that will have sex with anyone, girls that are s****, girls that are using you for attention as much as you are using them for sex? I know thats not definately what you'll do. I know you say you hate all that kinda stuff...but I don't really know that I know you anymore...and I don't know why else you'd throw us away. Or if not the girls, what then, the friends? Two of your friends tried it on with me since we broke up (one of them your best friend) and many others have slagged you off to me. They all think you've changed. I was your BEST friend. I respected you and kept EVERY secret you ever told me. So if you are sacrificing me for them then BOY...will you regret that. The friendship we shared was always the strongest thing.

 

I know I made a lot of mistakes with you. I was no angel. But I LEARNT and I CHANGED for you. Maybe it was too late. But why did you change too? IN A BAD WAY? What happened to you? Sometimes I think you really were stressed from work, sometimes I think you had depression...all I know is if you couldn't tell me, I couldn't guess. If you couldn't talk to me after 2 years, then really, what more could I do? Sometimes I think you got back together with me so that you could get over me fully whilst being with me. Thats why you never saw me fridays or saturdays, thats why you never took me on dates or went anywhere with me or rang me or text me. You made me feel like a NUISANCE or an IRRITATION or a STRESSOR just for asking how your day went. And you must have been trying to get over me by talking to 3 others girls; 1 an ex, 1 a pregnant girl and 1 a model, to move your confidances and your conversations over to them and not me. WHY could you tell them our problems and not talk about it with me? Why was everything fine if I asked? But they heard it all?

 

I loved you so genuinely and sincerely. I could see us going on adventures together, having children together. So could you once. What changed? If you think you'll find better...you're mistaken. Not because i'm so great but because WE were so great, and EVERY couple has their problems, but you gave up trying. Will you give up with the next one too? I do wish you all the best. I hope you do find love again. But I hope you realise what you've let go....though I doubt that...especially this time around.

 

If you stopped loving me, I won't stop loving you...but i'll learn to live without you. Thats what REAL love is isn't it? Letting a person go. To run after you, to chase you down, would be selfish. So I respect your decision, even if I don't respect many of the ways you treated me. I'm coping better than I thought for now, but lets not jinx it. I still picture things sometimes; like your kiss, our cuddles, the way I don't want to have sex with anyone else but am MAJORLY horny (sorry to anyone else reading this). I picture the little cuddly toys we brought each other and the way we looked at each other. But I also picture the way you called me a little girl, got angry at me crying, pushed me over, wouldn't kiss or touch me, gave me the cold shoulder, lied to me, talked to other girls about our problems without telling me and never stopped to make me feel special anymore....all the while saying that I didn't care about you, that I stressed you out, that all I did was complain. You are a hypocrite who can't even see it. I can see where I went wrong. You are blind to it and to weak to try. One day you'll realise love is the ONLY thing worth fighting for. You gave up. I feel happy that I didn't. You gave up on me, but I will never give up on myself again.

[bluewolf17]

Tony,

 

I hate you. You gave me false hope. I told you I didn't want to be "friends". I told you after we broke up, that I was hurting, that I loved you, that I wanted to improve things, and that I made a mistake in breaking up with you. I told you I missed you everyday, and that I wanted to work things out.

 

I TOLD YOU. And yet you called, texted me, etc. You made dates for us. You flirted with me, talked about us, and made me feel like we were heading in the right direction. Then 4-5 days would go by and I wouldn't hear from you.

 

I had a bad feeling about our date this last Friday. I just felt like we have had enough dates, and you should know by now. I shouldn't have taken you to that play. You lied to me. You told me afterwards you had " a ton of homework, and a busy weekend". I didn't beleive you, but I wasn't going to argue, so I dropped you off. Sure enough, you had made other plans with the boys, and had to lie to me. Why not just be honest? Why couldn't you just say you had other plans, or didn't want to hang out more with me. Oh, that's right. Because you didn't want to seem like an *******, and feel guilty.

 

I am glad I called you later that night. I am glad I cried, and told you how I felt. I should be emberresed, but I'm not. I told you how it was. I said we couldn't see eachother anymore. I said I loved you, and I wanted you, and you needed to tell me how you felt. And you did. You said "I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW". You said I miss you-SOMETIMES. You said "we are in diffrent places (ha!). So thank you, Tony, for finally being honest. For admitting what you were so afraid to tell me. You just are done. I wish you would have told me that 2 months ago, instead of dragging my heart through the mud. Your right, I did dump you. For two days, and I came right back after I realized what I lost. If your intent was to "get back at me". You did. Congratulations, you burned me.

 

Saturday morning was the start of my NC. It is so done between us. The best part, that I am laughing about now, is that you refused to tell me you wanted me gone, that you refused to say "we won't get back together, ever". All your words were picked out to be time based, temporary. You even said you can see us getting back together. Well, guess I will just wait around for you then?? Ha! And on top of it, after you said you didn't want to be with me "right now". I told you that was all I needed, and that you wouldn't be seeing/hearing from me anymore, you still wanted to make plans, you still thought we could "talk about it in a few days'. No freaking way.

 

If your angry with me for breakig up with you first, then I'm sorry, but your a jerk. If your done with me, then that's fine too. Just be honest with me, and yourself. As for me, I'm done feeling sad and waiting for you.

[notalone]

Í hate you. I truly do. The break up I could take...whatever parental disapproval bull**** you gave me...I was ready for that anyway. But seeing someone within ten days of the break-up??? Posting cosy pics on FB right under my nose?? After ten bloody days?? seriously?? IThat means, was barely out of your city when you fell into her arms. And now you have the bloody gall to tell my cousin that you have moved in with her and the sex is great?!?!?! Its been only two months since I came back alone and broken.

WTF??? what are you?

And to think, that I once usued to say that I could trust you with my life. I hate you.

[hopesndreams]

It's important to say what needs to be said, not just for you but for me as well. There is absolutely no reason for us to ever get angry with each other because we are no longer ONE, we are two separate people now. We have our own lives to live, you happen to share yours with someone else ( a whore) whereas I am alone. But, do not pity me. I respect myself too much to hook up with a loser, like you did. I go out to have fun, to socialize, not looking for anything other than that at the moment. My main concerns are keeping a roof over me and my familys head, food on the table, being mobile and getting a dang job. All those things will be accomplished, of that I have no doubt. Thanks for looking out for me though, it's appreciated. I have been letting go of my feelings of anger and betrayal, it's a slow process but it is doable. I never wanted to be in position of living on my own, without the love of my life, the man who knew me better than anyone, someone I would die for....but, that is where I am and yes, it feels as though I have been thrown to the wolves at times but then I think, you did something for you, you weren't happy, you wanted someone else to be with ( a whore) and now you got her. You could have many years of happiness or perhaps not, but that is not my concern, is that hard for you to hear? Some people look out for numero uno and are complete selfish barstards. You did something for you and to hell with our family! We could have got past it, I forgave ya and wanted to work at us, coz I thought it was worth it. I have no regrets how I fought for you, fought to get you back and I really felt no loss of self-respect because of it. You did what you did for you and didn't give 2 sh*ts about me. That is what I live with every day, and it's OK. You are not who I knew, you are different but I don't want you to be unhappy, I still care. (what a damn fool I am)

 

Glad to hear things are going well in your personal life. I feel the vomit rising! I really do wish you the best. I could never hate you and that's been proven.

[crackerjax9]

why are you being such ajerk about this? YOU MESSED UP and your not even sorry!!if you loved me if you actually wanted to be with me like you CLAIM youd be at my doorstep begging me back. your an ***hole i never would have done what you did you missed out on a great girl who never would have hurt you. i hate you for this. you messed everything up and i cant forgive you this time.

[brokenglass]

N,

 

Considering you able to talk to me again and be civil, I'm going to start using this thread to just say the things I really want to say to you.

 

I wanted to thank you for actually coming back to the house last night while I was spending time with our son. It makes me sad when you make it a point to avoid "me." I put me in quotes because, the person you're trying to avoid isn't me, its the old me. I do think though, that you're finally starting to realize this, that I'm a changed man and I am different now. The man you're angry at doesn't exist, and everyone around us sees it.

 

I just want you to know, once again, that I really, really miss you and I still love you.

 

We'll be seeing eachother again tonight downtown and I have a good feeling it won't turn out like last week did. I was happy to see that you realized you made an ass out of yourself, not making an ass out of me. But I understand, we all do.

 

I want us to have a good time tonight, whether that be together or separate. You asked if I'd give you a ride home if you drink too much and just like I said, that's a stupid question. The answer is always yes.

 

I'm actually kind of hoping you'll need one, because if you do I am going to take my sweet time taking you back because I can't remember the last time you and I spent some time in the car, driving around, listening to music. And I'm looking forward to possibly having that opportunity.

 

I miss you...I love you so much. I imagine this is going to take much longer than I thought to get over you, because I absolutely have to remain friends with you for our son.

 

I'll see you tonight.

[crackerjax9]

i can tell by the way your acting that you dont love me. i sent you long messages last night and all i got were one word answers. your not sorry. you dont understand..so stop saying you do! if you were sorry youd be here right now. your a jerk & i knew you were up to no good...i knewi had my insecurities but i really thought you werent capable of betraying me.. i really thought u loved me. you know im upset and you dont try calling or texting. are u stupid? i would have never hurt you. i would have never cheated on you. YOU HAD ME. you had my heart you had everything. your never going to learn and your goingto know how it feels to miss me this time. im done being pathetic and texting you. how can you miss me when i dont even give you the chance to? **** you for everything. you ruined us.

[Nikki Sahagin]

You gave up an honest, loving, caring, funny, mature, committed, ambitious, intelligent, faithful woman.

 

GOOD LUCK FINDING ANOTHER ONE SUCKER!

[Loving Too Much]

So you yanked me back and forth. Didn't want me...couldn't live without me. You got me back and gave you it all again. What I gave is special and not something you find all the time. You took me for granted and now you fill your time with memories and people from your past. Partying and casual dating is more important to you than what I provided. Why did you come back asking for me to give it all to you again? Why were my feelings toward what you were doing not important to you? Most of all, you told me time after time that we would talk anything out and love one another because WE were that important to you. Now all of this means nothing. All of it was just lies. You did not want to let go of something that made you feel great....until you found something to fill the void I would leave. I can tell you this....that void will not be filled by what you are doing. In time you will see that....how long? Who knows. I know its your pride that is keeping you from contacting me right now. I sometimes wish you would stop it and just call. Everyday I move on a little more. I know you mask what you really need by filling in the void with casual dating and partying and whatever is fun at that moment. The second that you realize once again what it is you truly desire.....I will have moved on. All because of pride and selfishness. I hold my head high because I am a good man, person and boyfriend. I will be a great husband and father one day. Why you could not see or desire that astounds me.

 

All because of pride and selfishness you lose someone who loved unconditionally. That, is not something that is easy to find.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Maybe I am a fantasist, an idealist, naive, sentimental, too romantic...but I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt I could have loved you FOREVER. I never wanted anyone else in the time we were together. What we had was almost sacred to me. I was so proud of us, of being with you, of the strength and sincerity of our relationship. I could break down and cry thinking of how much I invested in you, the expectations I had of you, perhaps foolishly. But remember when we sat apart and drew where we saw ourselves in ten years time? And we both drew a picture of a house and a baby and some animals and a car. We BOTH saw that future. So WHY have you thrown it away? If the love and the lust is still there, then why throw it away because you are 'stressed' and 'need space' and just 'can't cope'. I am crying now and i've been so strong But you meant SO much to me. Did I stop meaning anything to you? You say no...you say you still love and care for me. THEN WHY HAVE YOU GIVEN UP? Then why did you let us go? I told you all the time that you were letting us drift apart...but you didn't seem to care.

 

I know your job was stressful but why let us go because of it? People can get through ANYTHING. I held on, why couldn't you? Do you just want a chance with the 'model'? You say you don't want anyone or a relationship or girls...but are you just saying that? Do I believe it?

 

When I think of your beautiful face Even if you snored it never annoyed me, how many women can say that? It reminded me you were there my baby beside me where you should be. And your baby photos where I saw the man I was beside now; they always made me cry. And your hand in my hand, you in my arms The way you cried when you were ill and wanted me to look after you, and I spent five days walking to the shop to get you food and drink and cuddling you and wrapping you in blankets when you shivered giving you your medicine, even though it was blazing hot inside, I stayed indoors all that time for you, to care for you. I loved when you were cuddled in my arms; I knew I could love you forever. I know I always will That's what hurts so much I hope I can find a love even stronger than the one I felt for you but I don't know if it's even possible. And when you put your hand on my stomach and said you hoped one day i'd have your babies, and your hand there felt so right And I thought how proud and happy i'd be to have a family with you...and in this world of cheating and lies and boring relationships, we'd make it

 

But we didn't.

 

I love you so much. And i'm crying because there is nothing I can do. Either you stopped loving me, or you still love me but just 'can't' be with me....but my god this is torture. I was coping just fine but sometimes the gravity of not being with you hits me. I would have loved for you to have been my husband, the father of my children, my best friend forever. Why people want to run around with 101 different men or women, when life is short and I wanted to spend that short time forever with you

 

I will miss you so much. There is a scar on my heart from where you must slowly fall out of it. I miss the boy you were when we met....who gave me my first kiss and taught me to trust and made me feel the greatest fire and the greatest peace all at once. Thats what made us special. I felt this intense, overwhelming, crazy passion for you, but also I felt a peaceful, calm, gentle love. I would never have hurt you, cheated on you, left you...if only you stayed that same boy

 

I don't want my best friend, my thick as thieves buddy to become a stranger. Now it seems no-one can replace that void as a friend or a lover and i'm not sure I would want them too.

 

I wish you happiness my baby I hope one day maybe in another life we can be together. If only we met when we were older like you said, maybe we wouldn't have f u c k e d up. You were truly my home And I was yours. Now i'm evicted...& maybe i'll never find another place to live.

 

I love you X

[lost_one_01]

I so hate this feeling. It is so hard not to contact you. You hurt me so much but I still love you with all my heart. I drive myself nuts wondering if you even think of me at all?...do you miss me even a little? As bad as you hurt me I know underneath you were special. I can't fix things in your life, only you can. I would have been there for you no matter what. Sad to know that all my love and caring would have never been enough. You have those demons in you that you don't want to deal with. If I could have taken them and dealt with them I would have...anything for you. I want to hate you so much but I can't...pathetic I know. Guess I am stupid in believing in forever with someone...like I wanted it to be with you. Like to say I will find someone to replace you but I don't think I ever will...they will always pale in comparison to you.

[confusedcookie]

isn't there a saying in chinese that goes, if you're happy together, stay together, but if not, then break up? well, i would, and i should, but you're special to me, because you were my first. my one, my only, my first in the 22 years of my life. i was so unguarded to what heart break would be like, and from hearing so many stories i thought i was experienced in players and all... i choose you because you because you seemed like you were so honest, to the point that you would get red if you lied... i liked that, honesty is the foundation to everything. you seemed liked you were sooo smittened with me, and was so attentive and doting to my needs.

 

Remember the first time we had a fight? you hugged me, wouldn't let me go, and cried, the one and only time i saw you cry for me, then the next day, you made me soup, cut up fruit, brought me a sudoku book bc you knew i liked that game so much, and a small flower. and then you put postits on each item, saying to be careful that the soup was hot, there is more watermelon that you could eat up for me if i wanted, bought me the hardest sudoku book you could find, and most importantly, you remembered what i said about how i would have liked it if my boyfriend could pluck a flower and then put it behind my ear, so on the postit you wrote, saw this at a friends house, really wish i could tuck it behind your ear for you, must look pretty on you. you did all that before, and now, you won't even call me???? have i become soo unattractive and unwanted?

 

you lied to me about your ex girlfriend, and that in fact, from your sister's mouth, that you actually cheated on her... you lied to me, and i still forgave you. all while i thought you were so honest...

 

you left me with your mother i had just met for 4 hours in a foreign place, while you went to play poker with your friends, and then you promised to come pick me up, but after, when i was crying to you, you told me you were with your buddies, and couldn't come... and you once again didn't phone back... we came back from taiwan, and we hit a rough patch from all the bull**** i had to endure, but yet, i forgave...

 

and now, finally when we're finally happy again, and it feels like old times, and when you finally tell me when you were driving that, " you're actually pretty happy with me", you do this...

 

all the hard work, all that we tried to accomplish, all my dreams, and all your promises, gone out the window...

 

you tell me that you're the best bf i'm going to have, and you say i'm selfish???

 

i told you that you were my first, and you had to teach me how to be in a relationship, but you were the one never to reveal your feelings and to keep me in a constant guessing game, i'm so disappointed with you... i trusted you, everything you said to me, i believed, call me naive, but i believed everything you told me...

 

i gave you my heart, for you to keep and for you to guard it safe, but

when you told me "i'm sick of you, and i can't deal with you right now" not was i crying, my heart was crying too. when i got out of the car, and i thought you were going to come after me, bc you knew i had no cash, i was on freaking east hastings and cordova, but i heard the engine start, my heart cracked, but when you didn't phone me, until 30 minutes later, my heart broke... and when 4 days later, you still havn't called me my heart is slow dying....

 

i thought i knew you for the 1.5 years we were together, you were the type that didn't let me drive at night bc you thought it would be unsafe. you drove to my house just so that when i got home at night, you would ride the elevator with me bc you said it was unsafe. you would wait until you heard me open and close my door before you left in the elevator to go back down, bc you said anything can happen to me in just those seconds. you would clean all my utensils and plates, before you let me eat because you said you didn't want me eating dirty stuff... you seemed like you care sooo much for me.... but you leave me on a street corner and you drive off??? not any street corner, but east hastings, where the bums and druggies are no less, when you knew i didn't have a jacket on, and no cash, so i couldn't even take the bus home???

 

so that now i'm sick in bed??? i'm so disappointed.... did you really ever love me? or did you love me, but knew that becuase we were from different worlds that weren't going to last, so you were looking for an upgrade anyways? why do you never give me any answers? i guess, and you tell me never to guess what you're thinking, well if i don't. and you don't tell me, how the heck am i suppose to know what you're thinking, you tell me you love me, but your actions show otherwise, what is a girl suppose to do to get some care and love here???

[Wonderlandless]

Ran into your best friend today... can't believe this still hurts from what happened over a year ago (even though I haven't thought about you in awhile). I'm now back to feeling like some scared, quivering mess I was back then.

 

I hope you're well.

[hopesndreams]

I miss you too. Come back to me. We have wasted so much time; let's not waste any more. There is so much more we can do together, let's finish what we started. I'm weak without you. I want our lives back.

 

(havin' one of those days, ick)

[LadyV]

I am tired of you being in my head...get out of my head!!

[alphamale]

arrgh i don't wanna contact any of my 40 or 50 exes for cheap sex, arrgh

[Art_Critic]

....