Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[bluewolf17]

Tony,

 

I had a hard time going to bed last night. I kept thinking of all the ways you could get ahold of me, if you wanted to. But it's been 7 days of NC, and you DON'T want to contact me. We know I am not reaching out to you. I called you, I came over, I emailed you, and I wrote you a letter. The final straw was two weeks ago. I told you again how much I loved you, that I was commited to work on things, that I wanted to make you a priority. It was then, and only then, you finally admitted that you didn't want to get back togther RIGHT NOW. (Why even add that last part?).

 

So that is all there is. There is no longer a reason to see eachother, or to talk. I put myself out on the line, and your are done with me, so we have nothing more to discuss. This is why I am not calling you. And I won't. I won't ever call you again. I won't email, or look at your myspace/facebook. If you want to be done, then we are done.

 

Yet, last night, I couldn't stop thinking that this can't be the end. I miss you so much I still have so much love in me, that is just dying to get out. I wonder when you will reach out to me, because I know eventually you will.

 

I am one of those girls who always has a boyfriend. The most I have been single since 15 is 4 months. I am always dating. You always use to tease me about that. I can't help it. I just am a "relationship girl", I guess. But I have been single now for 3 months. I have been approached by another ex for reconcilation. I have been asked out at the gym, at school, and other other day by the guy who owns the organice fruit stand (and he is really good looking). And it all just doesn't matter. I feel nothing. All I want to do is get coffee with you and talk about Kant, J.S Mill, Plato and Satre. I just want to hold your hand, and make you laugh. I feel like every guy is invisible. I don't even see them.

 

So what is the meaning of all this? What was the point of all the love, and now the pain? A lesson? It's so sad.

[fabulous_chk]

Tony,

 

I have been approached by another ex for reconcilation. I have been asked out at the gym, at school, and other other day by the guy who owns the organice fruit stand (and he is really good looking).

 

Jeez I would be dating like crazy if I were you! Wait....well yeah I am dating like crazy lol!

 

 

Same boat here, still addicted to my ex...but keeping my eyes WIDE OPEN:love::love:

[fabulous_chk]

Dude images of you come to my head - I resent it! I doubt that you are even thinking of me. Go away dude!

[Nikki Sahagin]

I know I don't want you back. Not the person you are now at least. There's a weird comfort in that. You really p*** me off and agitate me. You make me feel nervous and stressed. You're just so irritating, immature, scared....I guess I didn't see it when I was with you, but you do REALLY irritate me and a LOT of other people as well.

 

You are very good at creating a front but you use others to feel good about you...and thats completely false. I know you use women to make yourself feel good...because you have such a poor relationship with your own muma. You just want a muma really don't you? lol

[bluewolf17]

I ALMOST sent this email. Then I remebered how mean he was to me the last time we spoke. So glad I didn't send it.

 

 

TB,

 

I am really sorry it all fell to pieces. I wish it could have worked out. There really isn't a good way to break up, and for me, stopping all contact was the only way to heal and move on. I could never be just friends with you.

 

I could have had more grace and dignity. I could have just accepted the break up, instead of sending emails, and calling..and now I think about it and I feel emberressed. I should have just left it alone. In retrospect though, I would have regretted not trying.

 

I want you to know I am not angry with you. If I know you, you will think that I must hate you, and never want to see you. And while I think it's best that we have no further contact, I certainly don't hate you. I am content with the good times we had, and I learned a lot from dating you.

 

I wish you all the best in the world. Everything you want, I am sure you will get. You meant so much to me, and I am glad to have gotten to spend so much time together.

 

Love,

Bluewolf17

[LadyV]

XBF,

 

It has been 19 days of NC. The nights are getting much easier. I don't want to know where you are, if you are with her. At times I start to think about how you would hold me, how we would look into each others eyes and you would smile, as if you were happy. There I was, willing to give you all of me, just like you asked. Although I was so hesitant, I did, eventually, and in the end, you didn't want it.

 

You say that wanting me was never an issue; it was that you just couldn't give all of yourself to me. You said that you needed me, but quickly proved to me that NO, you don't need me because now you have her. How can you just say those things, then turn around and do what you do? I will never know, nor will I understand, and to be honest? It doesn't matter. I am a beautiful person inside...I have so much love to give. You don't deserve anything that I have...because you would rather find that "better fit". It's okay...I don't want to give you any part of me ever again, because you threw me away not once, but 3 times. How does the saying go?? One man's "trash" is another man's treasure!!! Boy, is that so very true....

 

I do have to say, because of this break up, I am finding my way back home..Home you ask? My way back to God....He has been my rock, fortress and shelter, and you coming in and out of my life is just a reminder of what I don't want...I know that daily we are faced with trials...it is during those trials and how we react that makes the difference. I am not running from Him anymore, but to him. He is letting me know daily and reminding me, that all of this was for a reason, and that was so I could focus on healing myself from my marriage which ended, focus on my children, as well as myself...More importantly, putting God first!!! Yes, I know you don't like the God talk, but it is so true...If only you could say....

 

Today I feel good. I am seeing more and more that this was the very best thing for me...to block you from everything as if you were never in my life. Maybe one day, if God allows the opportunity, then yes...I will speak with you again...but right now, I am not strong enough to even think about unblocking you from my life. I need you gone, distant, and I don't want to know how you are doing.

 

I don't miss you, wow...I really don't. I have these memories that fill my mind and I think about all the bad...Not the good, probably because the good was only in the very beginning....Every day is getting better...19 days NC....and they say it takes 21 days to break a habit!!!

[Soul Bear]

So I wrote a list today of the nasty things you said to me recently.

Its really unfair I think, especially when the only reaction I had was being nice to you and tried to show you how much I care.

 

You say you want to be my friend?

Have a long hard look at what you said to me and tell me what YOU would see about wanting anyone in your life who said all these things to you...Infact dont even bother telling me.

 

I never truly loved you.

 

I never gave my whole heart to you, but I will in my next relationship

 

My next relationship is going to be amazing

 

I always felt like you loved me more than I loved you.

 

I havent even thought about you at all since we broke up, I have been having so much fun.

 

There is never any chance for us EVER again. I want you as a friend tho.

 

Im interested in someone else now. I dont see you that way anymore

 

I only took you back last time cos you looked so wretched

 

I have been preparing for this for a year

[Nuala83]

James,

 

I thought about you today. I think about you every day but I wish I didn’t. Sometimes I reminisce about all the happy years we spent but then I remember what you did. Let me start from the top:

 

Stage 1: Keeping me dangling. You told me you wanted to take a ‘break’ but you didn’t want it to be permanent and you wanted us to remain friends through it.

 

Stage 2: Mixed signals.When I asked if we could work it out you agreed but then changed your mind the very next day. Every time I asked why you wanted to end things your answers changed. One minute it was you, the next it was me. I didn’t understand.

 

Stage 3: The cold shoulder. You stopped contacting me altogether, you deleted photos of us together and when we did meet and I went to touch you, you flinched. You wouldn’t even look me in the eye and when I got upset by this you showed no emotion.

 

Stage 4: Twisting the knife. A couple of days later you started posting photos of you and another girl all over your facebook. You started to refer to her as your new best friend. You went out together just the two of you. You started spending nights at her flat. I called you once when you were at her flat and you switched your phone off. Worse than that you told me that you were enjoying being able to check out girls again and you loved the single life. What was your reason for making the break permanent again? Oh yes! You told me “If I wanted to have a one night stand I’d feel guilty so we should make the split permanent”.

 

Stage 5: Trying to claw me back in. I start to realise I’m being used and all contact from my end stops. Then you start to contact me telling me how you miss your best friend and you want your best friend in your life. I in a weak moment respond but this time I’m a little stronger than before and I shed no tears. I tell you if friendship is all you can offer you should leave me be. You tell me that you are still in love with me but not wanting a relationship. What use is that to me?

 

Stage 6: Moving on. It’s been 5 days now and everything’s quiet. I’m moving on the best I can and you’re out partying every night and trying to convince everyone that your “friend” is just a friend. Nobody’s fooled, least of all me. I’m nobody’s plan B and don’t you forget it.

 

An 8 year relationship thrown away James and for what? A spark with someone new? A chance to sleep around? I was one of your oldest friends and I thought after 9 years we were pretty solid. How wrong I was. What a dissapointment you turned out to be.

 

-Nuala

[LadyV]

XBF,

 

Thank you for the graduation card. I was really shocked to receive it, and the fact that you left it wedged in my door...I didn't send you a graduation announcment. I didn't want to share that day with you because I felt you didn't deserve it. But, thank you for showing you were thinking of me...

 

I was so tempted to call you and thank you, or even send an email, or text with a picture of me in my cap and gown attached. But I didn't . I go back and forth. One minute I just want to mail you a generic thank you card, no message or anything. The next I think to myself..."He's with her now..." BLAH! I am sticking to NC...it has been 24 days NC!!! Wow...Your number and email are still blocked. Not sure when I will be ready to unblock you, not untill I am ready to let you back into my life, even as a friend...that may be something that will take a while....

 

Again, thank you for the card. I am not reading into it, nor reacting. Just taking it for what it is...a nice gesture....

[bluewolf17]

TB,

 

Get the fudge out of my dreams. I don't want you there. I forgot how many days it's been since last contact, so I had to look it up. Its twelve days. Seems like a long time, but it flew by. I hadn't cried in awhile. But last night after my vball game, a friend and I work talking about the kind of men we like. I said I like a shorter guy, with a great smile. I like someone trusting and loving. I like smart and witty. I like social guys. I like someone that can make me laugh, and be romantic. I realized I was describing you. Then I told her, "I guess I just want Tony back". I tried to keep the tears in. I just waited to get home and shower and I let it all out. I went to bed early, and just cried. I am sure I cried myself to sleep. Then the dreams came. I can't wait to wake up in the morning, and not think about you. I am tired of being sad. I am doing everything I can, I really am. I keep busy, I go to the gym all the time, I am focusing on school and work. But you just pop in and out of my head.

NC is meant for healing me, but I also realized a side effect, it keeps me from reaching out to you, and baring my soul. You don't get to turn me down anymore. You don't get to know what I am doing. You don't get any piece of my life. Well, I am off to the gym. Today I will make it a good da.y

[kizik]

Hello ex girlfriend,

 

I haven't "written" to you on here in a long time. I believe the last time I did, I called you some awful names and said I hate you. Which is still true.

 

But IDK. I wonder what you're up to. Last I knew you were teaching middle school. Great. Oh yeah, and I saw you at that concert with that guy's hands all over your ass... that was cool.

 

Anyway, things are a lot better for me now. I don't think you would care, and I don't think you have the interest or the heart to ever even think about me. It doesn't matter. I guess I just wanted to say that I am fine. I still think about you every day, but never in a good way. I think about the ways you demeaned, insulted and insinuated. How you completely drove me crazy and made me hate myself.

 

Well, I don't hate myself anymore, and the reason is that your toxic ass is out of my life. You're off being an annoying little princess in someone else's now. I don't even feel jealousy.

 

You know how they say, you are truly over someone when you can picture them having sex with someone else and feel nothing? Well, keep f*cking, R. I could care less.

 

Am I even angry? I guess not. I want to laugh at how stupid you are when I think about you, though. How someone can have someone else in their life who loves them and would do anything for them.

 

You didn't want that. So my question is, what do you want, if not love and care?

 

I think you want abuse. I think you want a guy to ignore you and verbally abuse you. Why? Because that's what your father did to you, and now you're attracted to it.

 

R, you are an idiot and a disappointment. I can safely say these things with confidence, as it's been over a year since we split. As far as me, I'm about to release my first official album. I look good on the cover, and yeah, half the songs are about you. But it's weird playing them nowadays because I can't connect with that hate emotionally anymore.

 

Good luck being a vampire - one who sucks and drains humans of their love, emotion, and semen. Keep sucking, and see where that gets you.

 

But one of these years, you're going to be crying on the f*cking floor after some douchebag dumps you, and maybe then you'll know how it feels.

 

-k

[hopesndreams]

I don't want to see you tomorrow and Saturday. What is your agenda in visiting with me? Does she know you still phone, email, text and visit me? No, didn't think so. Do you want me to be the OW, do a switch, will that thrill ya? Why can't you just leave me be and let me move on with my life? I have never known loneliness until you left me, am feeling misplaced and disjointed. I will never feel "normal" ever again. Thanks a bunch.

[LadyV]

Now I'm so pissed at you. I have been having anxiety attacks all day. Why the heck did you have to give me a card? Why couldn't you respect my wishes and just leave well enough alone! Waste your thoughts and energy on your new girl....she needs it, I don't

[Gottabestrong]

I miss you so much. I am leaving in an hour and I know you are probably getting ready to leave too, so I am staying away from the apartment complex because I am scared of running into you. Because if I do I am sure I will run over to you crying and tell you that I love you and miss you. I don't think I would be able to control myself.

 

So go, go back to her and live the happy life you want. I ain't gonna stop you, but I will do the best I can to stop myself. I am afraid I will never fall in love again and be loved back, but I know you don't want me. So at least I will stop myself from stalking you, begging you to take me back and letting you see what a total pathetic loser I am.

[notalone]

XBF,

 

Three months since that day. I still miss you...I still dream of you. But I don't know if I love you anymore. You are happy with her...and I have come to terms with it. You know, more than the one year of relationship, I miss the 4 years of friendship we had. You were one of my best friends...I didn't want to lose you. It hurts like hell. I haven't contacted you at all since that evening....never knew I was so strong. But then, who on earth can call someone after being told to get the hell out of his life?? Not me.

 

Funny thing is that I have accepted that you broke it off with me...what I find hard to accept is how you did it...and what you did after. I remember all those nights together...the love in your eyes...how terrified you were thinking what if we didnt work out. And then we didn't. And you were back in game in 2 weeks. You knew I was in shambles...and you didn't think twice about posting those pics right under my nose. How insignificant I had become in your life.

 

Stay well babes...stay in my memories. I want to remember you as you were when we met, as we were in the bone chilling winter of Glasgow, as we were that christmas. Stay in my memories as the man who I loved. I forgive you.

[Soul Bear]

Notalone...you should send that one

 

Apart from the 'babes' bit of course

[fabulous_chk]

Ex, I think you miss me. It's okay, you can keep on missing me. We will be able to move from this. And in the distant future we'll see each other and be real friends.

 

Just not right now.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Feeling a bit weird tonight because I know they are all out and I nearly went to the same place with a group of my friends and god I would have seen him. Makes me feel like I want to throw up. I felt weird about it, like I should be there? They are all out together and my friend text me she saw him and he helped her out with a boy problem a while ago and I just felt so angry. Like I just....errr I can't STAND him. It really bothers me! That he has made this decision and it is causing some ripples in my life - not wanting to be there in case I see him.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Grrrrr I just HATE YOU. I HATE YOU SO MUCH. I hope I can get to the stage where I am just indifferent. God I must have loved you a lot, because if hatred is the opposite, then man i'm getting pretty hot under the collar over here.

 

All I hear is how you are out at clubs and bars....but yet when we were together, you said drinking is boring, clubs are boring, that group of friends are boring. If ever I invited you, it was a 'no I hate that place'. And what now you are always there?

 

God I am so happy and relieved I now only have to deal with my own issues instead of another persons. I mean you lie about things that don't even MATTER. You are so transparant. You act like everyones friend but you are such a ****. You giving a friend of mine relationship advice when you don't even know how to treat ME. I am angry, but I am SO GLAD I am not with you now. I feel like i've been cut loose from Hitler or something, and now we are seperate, I can't imagine what I ever saw in you at all, horrible, devious, cruel, needy, attention-seeking, fake little boy. YOU MAKE ME SICK.

[kizik]

Nikki,

 

go with the anger. You're onto something. Anger is a very important stage in breakup recovery.

[joemax]

I'm so sorry I hurt you, I really hope you're ok. I know it's unfair of me to ask, but please be happy. I had to do it. I thought to myself: "Spoiling your summer was better than ruining your life". I'm sorry.

[t0ri]

I just want to thank you. Thanks for teaching me what it really feels like to be yelled at, really screamed at. Thanks for crossing the line when you were drunk by leaving bruises on my arms, sitting on me, pulling my hair (ya, I'm sure it was an accident), and being an overall dick. Thanks for refusing to see me for a week when I found out and acting nonchalant around the fact that I was PREGNANT. Thanks for deleting my "goodbye" note, probably without reading it, although the one sentence I hope you read is to forget me, but not to forget our baby. I can't believe you just deleted it from your email AND your facebook! You didn't even care what I had to say one last time? Thanks for practically dating your friends instead of me. Thanks for the utter disrespect. Thanks for proving to me that I settled for you and for showing me every thing I DON'T want in a man or relationship. Thanks for suddenly dumping me, and then coming back 3 weeks later with false promises only to break my heart again a month later. No really, thanks. I wanted to walk away from you for quite awhile but I didn't have the strength or courage, so thanks for giving me no choice. Because being single and finding happiness in myself is much better than constantly being sad and disappointed by a ridiculous relationship with you.

 

Thanks for shoving it in my face how happy you are without me. You ripped my heart out, juggled it in your hands, then stomped all over it and threw it in the garbage. I AM garbage to you now. You don't want to be with me, fine. But is it really necessary to deliberately hurt me? We both know it happened. I'll never know what happened regarding your feelings towards me romantically, but I can't believe you could stop caring about me as a person after 2.5 years. I've been so good about NC. I bet you're surprised. I don't know you anymore. The MEAN, inconsiderate person I've met the past few months is not the person I was dating. Who are you? You've always been one person to me, and another to your friends. I hate that. I hate YOU.

 

Our anniversary and Valentine's Day were in the same month that you dumped me, so WHY did you act like everything was fine and get me a Vday card saying I'm "the one?" WHY did you have to come back 3 weeks after originally dumping me? Were you lying to me, or did you really want to reconcile? And WHY THE HELL did you say you wouldn't mind if I got pregnant again!? Why'd you have to lie to me?! You told me you'd be lost without me, you were still in love with me, and genuinely wanted to start over. You told me that you realized I had every quality you could ever want in a woman, but you don't want a relationship right now. **** you for toying with me like that. WHO do you think you are?! Everyone we knew always said I could do better, looks-wise and other. Your own friends said you'd never get anyone as good as me. But you're out trying to hook up with chicks, I'm sure. I hope you find that they were right...This breakup was YOUR loss, not mine. Although it hurt me worse than any pain I could've imagined. I treated you well and made you feel loved and appreciated, and you took that for granted. It seems like you liked me more when I didn't care as much about you. I think it's because you're immature, 22, and had nothing to compare me to since I was your first everything. Or maybe that's wishful thinking. Whatever.

 

I can't believe how nice I've been throughout all of this. I said one little mean thing during this entire breakup period, 3 months, and it killed me to see that it hurt you a little, so I apologized. And have you apologized to me? No. Do you not feel any remorse? You're so heartless, selfish, and prideful right now I can't stand it. I'm pissed off, yes. But I do miss you. I miss your affection, your voice, your smile, your hands, your comfort, talking to you, I miss being your friend. I really miss sleeping with you and falling asleep together on the phone. I miss watching tv with you late at night, and you constantly asking for a kiss. I miss the guy I knew the first year and a half we dated, up until I got pregnant. Since then, you changed. Tell me why! I miss all of you, but hate all of you at the same time...not sure how that's possible.

 

I hope you know that you have so many flaws (so maybe tone down the sudden cocky-ness), but I loved you unconditionally. I saw the imperfect you PERFECTLY! Now it's my turn to be loved that way by someone who will offer it, and that is deserving of me. You never deserved me. I hope karma is a bitch for you.

[notalone]

You act like everyones friend but you are such a ****. You giving a friend of mine relationship advice when you don't even know how to treat ME.

 

Nikki,

 

So it turns out we have been dating the same guy. Small world..huh.

[Nikki Sahagin]

You act like everyones friend but you are such a ****. You giving a friend of mine relationship advice when you don't even know how to treat ME.

 

Nikki,

 

So it turns out we have been dating the same guy. Small world..huh.

 

Wish it could be a little bigger....lol

[brokenglass]

I woke up this morning thinking about you. Well I take that back, I fell asleep last night thinking about you. It happens less often than it used to. I'm able to go through most of the day and week and not be bothered by it at all. But sometimes I lay there in bed and wonder to myself if you enjoy sleeping alone because most of the time, I do not.

 

Our friends keep asking me if I think there's a chance you and I will try again and I keep telling them, probably not right now but perhaps in the future? I don't know...

 

But regardless, I really miss you. I imagine I will cease missing you once I find a girlfriend or something, maybe that's why you don't miss, care about or love me anymore. I imagine you've moved on, multiple times with multiple people. Oh well, that's right, you "love" me, just not like that. Whatever that means...

 

I look forward to the day where either 1) I can wake up, breathe in the fresh air and look forward to the day and making things better between you and I or 2) I can wake up, breathe in the fresh air and make breakfast for my new hot, thin, healthy, fun girlfriend and me.

 

In the meantime, I am trying to just wake up, breathe in the fresh air, and look forward to the day.

 

Wish it could be a little bigger....lol

 

That's what she said! Sorry I couldn't resist.