committed Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 So over the summer, we will have been dating for 4 years. Around year 1 1/2, I moved into his house and have been here ever since. He's 33 (almost 34) and I'm 25. He says he wants to marry me, but I'm really getting anxious and want to take the next step. We both have full-time jobs, he owns the house, and I want to start having kids. Selfishly, I'm tired of talking about his 1 1/2 year old niece and how cute she is - we could have our own cutie! I don't see any reason for us to not be engaged soon...what am I to do? I love him with everything I have and could never imagine not being with him. But, how long should I continue to wait? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 I don't have any advice, just wanted to say that I feel your pain. We've been dating for 3 years now, living together most of that time, although we've known each other since high school over a decade ago. We've both got great jobs, we're doing well financially, and we mesh in all the right ways. He has said he wants to get married, but he's been saying that since six months after we started dating! How much longer is it going to take? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 Have you ever asked him when he's thinking he'd want to get married? That's the first step. Keep in mind that he has everything he wants right now - job, house, and you living with him. So he has a lot of benefits, without the legal responsibility and financial/legal commitment. So he's not necessarily going to be in a hurry if you are not. You can approach it a number of ways. You mention that you want kids...does he? When? Perhaps a discussion about having kids could give you some sense of his timeline on marriage and children. Or you can tell him that you are concerned that you are not building equity in your own house (are you paying him rent that he uses to pay off his mortgage???). And that you don't want to put your financial future at risk by letting all this time go by without making a real estate investment of yur own. But I think being direct is best..."honey I love you and you've said you'd like to get married. Do you have a time frame in mind?" Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Why get married? What do you get out of it that you don't have now? I'd also like to know along with NJ if he wants kids. If so, why not have them now and forget about the silly expense of a wedding? Link to post Share on other sites
Mirage222 Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 He is NOT going to marry you. He will engage conversation with you on marriage/kids but he will not marry you. He will just not marry you! I think I am angry because I've been with my b/f for 4 years, live with him over 2 years and I am leaving him in a month because he does not want to marry me! He will never tell me that straight out but I feel this, I am not dumb. So, you can stay and do all the "Wifey" things or you can leave and find someone who actually wants you to be their wife. It's tough, I know... I love my guy, he is the best - we just want different things in life... go figure. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 21, 2007 Share Posted May 21, 2007 Have you ever asked him when he's thinking he'd want to get married? That's the first step. Keep in mind that he has everything he wants right now - job, house, and you living with him. So he has a lot of benefits, without the legal responsibility and financial/legal commitment. So he's not necessarily going to be in a hurry if you are not. You can approach it a number of ways. You mention that you want kids...does he? When? Perhaps a discussion about having kids could give you some sense of his timeline on marriage and children. Or you can tell him that you are concerned that you are not building equity in your own house (are you paying him rent that he uses to pay off his mortgage???). And that you don't want to put your financial future at risk by letting all this time go by without making a real estate investment of yur own. But I think being direct is best..."honey I love you and you've said you'd like to get married. Do you have a time frame in mind?" Excellent advice. Put your marbles on the table and see if your expectations match. Link to post Share on other sites
BeHappy Posted May 22, 2007 Share Posted May 22, 2007 i waited ten years for a ring. I didn't get one. He calls me "wifey" and stuff to make me think their is a future. BUT in the end, he broke up with me because we are not right for each other. What a J--k? Don't wait for a long time for a ring. Link to post Share on other sites
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