Am I making the right decision

[MissBillyT]

I am currently in a relationship with this guy who I have known all of my life and he has known me all of his life. And he actually told me he wanted to be with me the day before Sweetest Day. And we have been talking ever since. The problem is I was in a relationship with another guy when we started talking.

 

Actually the other guy wasn't treating me right. He was never there for me. He never had time to talk to me let alone be with me. And he put his job and his friends in front of me. He never had time for me until he wanted something from me.

 

Now that I am in a relationship with the new person I am wonderingif I am making the right decision. Yes, I understand that things are hard and all relationships have there shares of problems. But mines are kind of confusing for me.

 

I am only 19 years old and I am just starting relationship.

And I am very jealous. And here's the rst of the problem. My guy has a baby mother. Actually two. He has a daughter who is only 3 weeks old. And he went to Tennessee to see her birth. And he was living with His baby mother. And he just now told me that she wants him back.

Now that he is back in Michigan his baby mother is staying with him for almost two weeks. And it was fine with me at first. But now it's not. All of my plans are changing. I can't go over his house because she is there and he saids that it is too much drama.

She is saying that she don't want to me me. But I feel like she should me the person who is going to be around her daughter. Because he gets his daughter ever other month. But she is threatening to take his daughter away because of me. So he is keeping her and me away from each other. But He won't talk to me like he used to. It's not the same.

 

And My old boyfriend has so much time for me now. We are friends but now he is telling me he wantss more. He can't be my friend. He says he need more.

 

And I need help. I need someone to shine a little light on my situation. I tried talking to my mom but she don't like either one. And she is telling me that I am the other woman with my current boyfriend. And my brother said I am being used.

Thankyou for listening or reading. Can someone give some light into a dark room.

Because I love my guy so much. And I don't want to lose him but I don't want to feel used either.

[Bill]

This guy didn't have an accident. When you have sex you known damn well what the consequences could be. He has an obligation to that child and that mother.

 

He wants to leave his child and the mother now? This guy can't be good. HE's LEAVING HIS CHILD. What kind of guy does that?

 

I don't like either one as well. One treats you bad and one is a deserter. Yes, you are being used. This guy is using you as a way to get away from his responsibilities to the mother and child.

 

Drop both of these guys. Get a REAL man.

[HokeyReligions]

I want to say something to you, but what I want to say will take a long time and more than likely sound very angry.

 

So, to be brief: listen to your mother and your brother. They can see things that you can't see, and your mother has lived and felt all the same emotions, needs, urges, longing, and heartbreak that you have felt, are feeling, or will feel. Give her some credit for knowing more than you do and listen. Sounds like your brother is trying to look out for you too.

 

Don't ruin your life with either of these guys - especially the one who is fathering children, unless you want to have his kid and have him leave you too. You're only 19. Stay in school, or go to college if you have already graduated high school and don't be in such a rush to settle for one guy.

[Just A Girl2]

Whether you can understand it, this new guy's #1 priority should be to the mother of his child, and most importantly, his new baby. Period. I can totally understand why she doesn't want you around. This is a time for her, him and their baby......period. He helped create this little baby, and he should be man enough to own up to his major responsibilities and help the mom (his ex) and be a very constant part of this innocent little baby's life. He has no business being with you or any other woman...he needs to take care of the business he already has.....his baby's Mom and their child.

 

You need to graciously step away from the entire situation and find yourself a guy who's truly "available" to you......and it's not this guy.

 

Your Mom and your brother are totally right, too, I agree with them.

 

I know this is hard for you, but out of respect for the situation and this baby, you need to move on and leave this dude alone. And this is the second baby he's helped bring into the world? (I understood you to be saying that he also has another child somewhere). If so, he's a dick....the kind like on Jerry Springer, who goes around knocking up women and creating children all over the place. Yuck.

[MissBillyT]

Um, I think I missed a part or something. He is taking care of his daughters. He is not trying to leave his daughters but he isn't trying to leave me either. He says he loves me. And I love him. He has a job and he payes child supoort for the oldest daughter. And he gets her every weekend. ANd his daughter that's only three months, he bought the things for her. He bought her crib, enfamil, car seat more than what the mother bought.

 

SO I am not saying that he is fathering children and leaving them. Because he is a good father. And he is 21 so that's good. He's not leaving his daughter. But his new daughter lives in Tennessee 3000 miles away. SO they came up here for Christmas. (the mother and the baby) And his other daugther live like an hour and a half away. SO he seed her alot. And he there for her. Ans that's good. I think maybe I wrote my story wrong or something.

 

Yes, I am kind or nervous. But he isn't a bad man and he is taking care of his responsibilities. He's in his daughters life and he supports them financially and emotionally. The baby mothers have a problem with me. I believe. Because his oldest daughter mother doesn't want me doing her hair anymore. And his youngest daughter mother doesn't want to meet me.

 

What I am trying to get at without everyone thinking that he is a bad father is why do my plans have to change? How come I can't come over your house and she your daughter if I am your girlfriend? ANd she already knows about me. I am not bad and I don't want to cause trouble. I have more important things to worry about besides that. ANd I love kids. I baby sit every day. And I braid hair. And I twist. SO I am okay. ANd his older daughter likes me. She always ask about me. So why can't I see the baby? Am I asking for too much. Do I need to just wait for the baby to get older.

[Just A Girl2]

I think you may have missed the point I was trying to make. Okay, so this guy is 21 yrs old, and the father to 2 different children, both by different mothers, neither of which he's married to. He obviously didn't learn after the first pregnancy (I'm assuming it was unplanned), the whole issue of birth control. He's practically a kid himself. Maybe he should leave his dick in his pants so that he's not continuing to get women pregnant.

 

That's great he's bought things for his new baby...but that's not something he should get a medal for, that's what a father SHOULD be doing.

 

My point is....why do you even want to have anything to do with a guy who's obviously slept around a fair bit, has knocked up 2 women, he'll FOREVER be in contact with his exes, because of the children he has with them. Do you want to be with someone who is always going to have ties to other women?

 

And perhaps the reason the baby's mom doesn't want you around is because he's not being HONEST with you....and maybe he and her are "together"...or trying to work out their relationship........maybe he's telling you one thing, and her another?

 

Wouldn't it just be much simpler to find yourself a man who doesn't have multiple children, from multiple mothers? I know you couldn't pay me enough to get involved with a guy like this...too much baggage for my liking.

 

If YOU are having sex with him, I hope to God that YOU are using a very good form of birth control....so that another unplanned child by him, is not created/brought into this world. Children DESERVE to have a good start in life....to have a family; a mom and a dad..living together all as a family. This guy is busy getting women pregnant........that's a guy you respect?