WigWam123 Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 This is gonna sound strange but I have to know why he's ignoring me. I had a best friend in grade school who was male. I had a major crush on him and didn't know how he felt. I had moved away and we kept in touch for a short while and then eventually went our seperate ways. 15 years had passed and I found him on a "friend" site. Mind you, I had been looking for him for a long time before this. I emailed him through the site and he immediately replied back. He said he was extremely excited to be reconnected with me and so forth. Every so often he would send me messages here and there letting me know that he misses me and he remembers all the nights we spent as kids looking up at the stars. We started to chat one night and all the feelings were left out on the table. I told him that I adore him and he did the same. Said he still felt the same for me as he did when we were younger. He said he wanted to run his fingers through my hair. You know, all the romantic things a person could say to you. He's married and even told me that even being married, he still has feelings for me. Our conversation was cut short because he said his wife woke up. I felt like I all these feelings for him just got more intense. I don't want a "romantic" relationship with him unless he would get divorced... he knows that. But now I am really sad because ever since that night, he won't return any of my email messages, hasn't even sent me a message at all, and he's never on anymore to chat with me. Why am I so sad? Why is he ignoring me? How can I move past this and stop being bummed out? He told me that he will always be my dear friend... so even to be just friends why won't he talk to me? I am also in the middle of a seperation from my husband - which doesn't help much, but I wasn't even sad about the divorce as I am of "re" losing this dear friend of mine. I adore him and I am afraid that now he doesn't want to be my friend. : ( Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 Perhaps he realized that staying in contact with you could potentially become an affair...there are such things as emotional affairs, you know. There doesn't have to be physical contact in order to define an affair. Technically, telling you romantic things is like beginning an affair. My guess is he was glad to reconnect, and glad to tell you how he's always felt...but he's married. And you have feelings for him. Even if you just want to be "friends", he could have interpreted your emails and attempts to keep it going as a way to come between his marriage. And if you did in fact keep a friendship going here, deep down I'm sure you would be hoping/waiting for his marriage to end so that he could be with you. You would become very involved and get more and more into him, then get even more sad than you already are, because he's married and you can't have him. But he really shouldn't have acted romantic like he did with you on the phone in the 1st place, it was leading you on from the start. If he wants to continue a friendship with you, he will contact you again eventually, but maybe he plans on it being a very sporadic thing, such as just saying "hi" and catching up every once in a while, as opposed to regular communication, which it sounds like you were hoping to get from this. You might want to try and let go right now while you can. I'm sure you need friends right now while going through a break-up, but he's probably the wrong kind of friend since you have feelings that go deeper. It's a wonderful thing to get back into touch with old friends, but it sucks to find out they are no longer available. I've been there, and I just had to be happy to know they are doing ok, and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WigWam123 Posted April 28, 2007 Author Share Posted April 28, 2007 Well, it wasn't a phone conversation I had with him, it was an instant message conversation. His family still keeps in contact with me, but he won't and still hasn't for the last week. The very last thing he said to me before he stopped messaging me was: "Don't you dare forget about me! Goodnight & miss you." So, he never mentioned or sounded like he was mad at me. I just would send him a message to ask how he's doing and if everything's good... but he hasn't returned a reply like he did when we first got reconnected. I see that he posts messages to everyone else but me. : ( Well, at least i am still in contact with his family including his brother and sister and we are in the takls of doing a reunion in Vegas... we'll see how things go! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 Some people like to revisit the past, but don't like to dwell there. Perhaps he enjoyed that little trip back in emotional time but realized that the past is just that: past. Link to post Share on other sites
supernova Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 i agree with lovelace. he is ignoring you because he knows that the feelings are there so if he gets close to you, it will become an emotional affair which puts both him and you in a difficult position. He is trying to do the right thing, not easy for you of course but he may in fact really be doing the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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