ash519 Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 So i posted on the dating thread about my bf and I and differences we have and how I do feel as though I am improving. Please feel free to respond to that as well, it helps hearing others opinions. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t117911/ Anyway, I started seeing a new psychologist and have only had one session so far, but I feel as though she was judging me. Her facial expressions and quick remarks back at what I said. At the end of the session I felt as though I had to defend my bf and say "he is a great bf" and defend myself as well. I did fill her in on the bad stuff obviously, well, not bad, but the area i feel i need help in and my bf's actions. Like at one point she asked "Well, how much does he drink" and I answered her and she raised her eyebrows...i dont think the amount he drinks is really bad...i dont know. I dont think it was just a matter of not hearing what i wanted to hear, but i just felt judged. She is like 60 or something. And also, I didnt go in the playing the blame game, i said "I" need to change my behavior. Should I try another session? Link to post Share on other sites
polywog Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 Yes, try a few more. It could be that you don't click, which happens. But it could be that you are scared, or hearing what you don't want to hear. I am a veteran of a few therapists, so that's just my advice. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 PW is right, give it afew more sessions and see how it goes. It is important to feel completely comfortable with your therapist and have some sort of connection so you'll be able to open up and really let her/him in so they can help. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 I agree with WWIU - try a couple more sessions before deciding. A good, comfortable relationship with your therapist is key to your progress, so don't feel like you have to stay with someone you can't talk to openly. Another thing is, do you think you could tell her (the therapist) how you're feeling? As in - "I'm having trouble talking openly in here because I'm feeling judged." And just tell her what you told us - you're uncomfortable with her facial and verbal responses, which feel judgmental to you. I think it's not a bad idea to point it out, and talk about that with her. She's there to work with you, and you should be able to feel like it's a safe space to talk, including about what you want out of therapy and whether it's working for you. Be prepared, of course, that she may tell you she wasn't intending to be judgmental. I'm not saying you're wrong, but it's possible that, when someone talks about something they know might sound questionable, they look for responses in the other person and feel what they see more keenly. Your therapist's personal style may be to respond actively (with expressions or words) but she may not intend those as judgments on what you said, but more as indications that she's actively listening. Something to consider. Of course, if that style makes you feel uncomfortable, that's still as good a reason as any to say that you just don't feel like she's the right therapist for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 Therapy is a very good thing indeed. If you explain to your therapist upfront, the type of interaction you want to have, she/he will adapt accordingly. For example, I told my therapist that I need guidance, not someone to tell me what to do but someone to help me get to where I need to go. Give me the tools and I'll self-start. I also told her that I need her opinion sometimes. She basically said that I needed to tell her when to give opinion, otherwise she would sit back and absorb. It's been working extremely well since day 1. Full on honesty and direct communication. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ash519 Posted April 25, 2007 Author Share Posted April 25, 2007 Thanks for your responses. I agree with all of you, I may have been reading the signs wrong, but maybe i wasnt too. So, maybe I will go to my next session and just go with it and if I see the face I consider as 'judgement' I will be up front and tell her i would prefer not to feel judged that way. I will also tell her I am looking for her to give me guidance towards how to not worry so much, about my bf, money, life, death etc etc etc. I am a compulsive worrier!!! Thanks for the support and help!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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