yes Posted January 3, 2003 Share Posted January 3, 2003 Perhaps this is obvious to some, but here're some new rules I've set for myself, or just conclusions I've made: 1 - never ever ever let the sexual side of the r/s progress faster than the mental side. as much as it's tempting to do so, in the moment, 99% that it'll be regretted. 2 - always always always expect to be properly courted. don't say - oh, this guy is just for fun, it doesn't matter. The dude's gotta work his ass off, whatever the case! 3 - always always always take it slow (in all respects). if it can work, a lil extra waiting won't hurt, and if it can't, you're more likely to realize it's not a go before you're in too far. 4 - if the situation is unenjoyable, get out immediately! Then calmly see if it was your fault, and work it out if it was. otherwise -off you go. Before, I used to believe in the "be spontaneous!" thing, but now I'm seeing that it doesn't really work, in this world. But perhaps it's just me! If you disagree w/ any of the above, please let me know, i'd be interested to hear why. -yes =) Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted January 3, 2003 Share Posted January 3, 2003 I agree, but I'm going to jump in and add some of my own conclusions, if you don't mind! 1 - never ever ever let the sexual side of the r/s progress faster than the mental side. as much as it's tempting to do so, in the moment, 99% that it'll be regretted. Know that sex means more to you than it does to the guy you are with. You will feel all kinds of close, intimate feelings, and he may not. Chances are, actually, he WILL NOT. A guy friend of mine compared sex to blowing his nose. Just one of those things they do. (Not generalizing, just giving one guy's opinion!) Know that you are in charge of the sexual progress, and if the guy you are with is not willing to wait for you, then he is not worth it. He's not after You, but is after the sex. 2 - always always always expect to be properly courted. don't say - oh, this guy is just for fun, it doesn't matter. The dude's gotta work his ass off, whatever the case! Yes! This means asking you in advance for dates, planning dates properly, picking you up from your home/apartment, dropping you off at your home/apartment, etc. 3 - always always always take it slow (in all respects). if it can work, a lil extra waiting won't hurt, and if it can't, you're more likely to realize it's not a go before you're in too far. Yes! I think women fall harder in the first few months, thinking the guy is All That And A Bag of Chips, and men fall harder much later on in the relationship. Guard your heart! Don't fall too soon! Keep it at arm's length as long as you can, until you know he feels the same way about you. Don't start dreaming about that wedding dress after the first date! Ha ha... 4 - if the situation is unenjoyable, get out immediately! Then calmly see if it was your fault, and work it out if it was. otherwise -off you go. In other words, know your non-negotiables. You cannot change anyone. If there are things about a guy you don't like, consider whether they are non-negotiables that are going to drive you crazy forever. If so, NEXT him immediately. HE WILL NOT CHANGE! Don't expect him to! I'm going to add my own fifth one... 5. Do not call guys. I don't mean *never*. I mean, if they call and leave a message and ask you to call them, then call back. But don't pursue guys. Guys who really like you pursue you. They really do. You may not believe this, if you have never had a guy who was really into you, or if you jumped onto the pursuit bandwagon before he had a chance to. But trust me, guys who like you call on their own. You don't need to call them 20 thousand times a day. They'll call you. Don't waste your time sitting at home and waiting for him to call, either. Get out there and do things with your friends and have a life. This is much more exciting to guys than a girl who is always sitting home waiting anxiously for their call! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted January 3, 2003 Author Share Posted January 3, 2003 I also agree with your 5th addition. And now that it's all been confirmed from personal (sour) experience, I'll follow these rules, always always always. Good night everybody, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 3, 2003 Share Posted January 3, 2003 CLIA WRITES: "A guy friend of mine compared sex to blowing his nose." That's it! No more flu shots for me!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted January 3, 2003 Author Share Posted January 3, 2003 what do I do with r/s's where I didn't follow rules 1,2,3 from my list? (I always follow clia's rule #5 for some reason). I mean, is it - screwed up & unfixable? Or is there something I can do, still? I mean I can't suddenly change (start following the rules) w/ no explanation, ... or can I? thanks, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts