hope1975 Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 I have a friend who appears to be very interested in me, but we also have a business venture starting up & I'm not sure if he is interested purely on a business level, or if it may be something more. There is alot of long eye contact when we get together & he tells me he loves me & cares about me. He doesn't like any of the guys I date, and yet nothing has happened between us. There has been occasional touching (runs his leg up mine, hugs me) but nothing else has happened. He's told me in the past he doesn't feel "that way" about me, but can feelings change?, because he's been alot more attentive & flirty in the past couple of months. He's opened up to me alot more & bought me into his personal life a bit more (ie: introduced me to his friends & family) The whole situation is confusing me. Any opinions would be appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 Sound like you have an open relationship regarding feelings. he told you in the past. But ask him now how he feels. If he says he still doesnt have feelings for you, tell him to please stop giving you personal gifts or judging the men you meet because he is interefering. You have the ability to get things out in the open. Use it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hope1975 Posted April 24, 2007 Author Share Posted April 24, 2007 I am pretty close to him & we are able to talk about pretty much anything. But when we do talk, his words & actions contradict each other...it's a very strange situation to me. The things he says could be taken either way. He called last night & asked me what my plans were for the weekend, I said working...he said he would just be at home doing typical single guy stuff...but it would be nice to have a partner to do it with...is that a hint? I just don't know, but then he didn't ask me over or anything...I'm so confused!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 Sounds like a wuss to me. A wuss that doesn't mind feeling your legs. Listen he knows he's messing with your head and sending mixed signals. Ignore them as best you can. Force a little physical and emotional distance. If he asks you why explain that you were getting mixed signals and that since he's bought the matter up - could he clarify if he still has no romantic feelings for you. If he decides to de-wuss himself and step up to bat all very well and good. If he says no your both "just good friends" and he wants to keep it that way tell him its therefore best he keep his gifts and hugs since, 1) if he did find someone to do "couply things" with she might not like that; and 2) you find it confusing and distracting. Then go out on a date. With a non-wuss if at all possible. Link to post Share on other sites
longlegzs80 Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 are you both starting up your own business???? I guess I am unclear. IF you are, I wouldn't get involved, wait, I wouldn't get involved even if your in at a company together. IT cuts down on complications and problems. I am someone who has mixed business with pleasure and it hasn't worked out, and caused alot of problems in both the business and how we treat one another. Just my 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hope1975 Posted April 25, 2007 Author Share Posted April 25, 2007 We don't work at the same company but we are looking at starting up a business...maybe he is just naturally a charming friendly man, and I'm misreading the entire thing, I don't know. I'd like to get it sorted before we go into business together though. Maybe he is a wuss, I just don't know, but I am afraid it is going to cause issues down the track Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Well, if you are going to be starting a business together I would not consider starting a romantic affair. He still sounds like a wuss or more likely a "player". Charming and attentive men can do well in business (especially if you have female clientele) but draw the lines with yourself (tell him he may use all his charm on the clients but to save if for them). He will not respect you if you turn into a mushy teenage lump of marshmellow every time he smiles and your fellow business contacts will watch and conclude that its best to have the serious conversations with the guy (him) not the girl (you). Seperate business and pleasure; and wussyness or charm from intent (intent is easy to spot because it usyally goes like "I really like you and would like to know you better in a romantic way, would you go out with me this Saturday"). Anyway, bottom line is, it doesn't MATTER what he means its how you react to him and carry yourself that sets the tone. Set it at friendly but not intimate (cut the late night calls - that boyfriend/girlfriend territory) and the rest will like water find its own level. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hope1975 Posted April 25, 2007 Author Share Posted April 25, 2007 Anyway, bottom line is, it doesn't MATTER what he means its how you react to him and carry yourself that sets the tone. Set it at friendly but not intimate (cut the late night calls - that boyfriend/girlfriend territory) and the rest will like water find its own level. I agree...too many late night phone calls (how did you know that?) although they've died off a bit now. You're right, we can't control the way other people act, only how we react to that situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hope1975 Posted April 25, 2007 Author Share Posted April 25, 2007 actually, I'm just wondering if anyone can answer this question...do some men play games, like will a man pretend not to be interested in someone, when he really is? and if so, is it typical for guys to do that? or is that like the exception to the rule. I know some women analyze men & their behaviour, & I always thought men were pretty straightforward, which is why I'm finding this whole situation kinda difficult to deal with. I know it obviously depends on the individual, I was just wondering how common it is for men to play games to pursue women & does it come from insecurity or fear of being rejected? what do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
CONFUSEDgirl2 Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 I empathize with you. I'm in the same situation. Problem with me is that I really want my crush to be the man and come forward and confess he likes me but he never does. If I were you I would take my chances, notwithstanding the business venture (that's on a separate plane) and full on sexify yourself to him. If he doesn't take the bait, then back out and act like the whole thing was a joke to test his character and stability. If he persists in knowing the logistics of it, tell him it was recommended to you from a business psychologist who studies stability and character as predictors of future success. You don't want to invest your time and money into a business venture with a person who is emotionally unstable (i.e. easily swayed or impulsive). Such a person would prevent you guys from any success in business. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hope1975 Posted May 7, 2007 Author Share Posted May 7, 2007 it's such a confusing situation...things are changing & we're getting closer, but nothing has happened. I'm starting to think that he's not interested in a relationship...just sex, if that. but how can you tell? unless they come out & say it, which isn't happening...what if a guy talks to you about sex? why bring it up if there's no interest there? hmmm............ Link to post Share on other sites
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