Girlfriend hanging with guys that like her more than a friend.

[frozenbutt]

My girlfriend has some guy friends who have all admitted to liking her more than a friend? I've never met these friends, but I know only one of them has been a long friendship. Some became friends after they asked her out. She still hangs out with these guy friends. Is this normal? Is this healthy?

 

Opinions appreciated.

 

 

 

"men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."

-Billy Crystal (When Harry met Sally)

[yes]

it's absolutely fine, as long as she doesn't avoid situations where you would meet these guys. to check, dont DEMAND to meet the guys, but just casually suggest that one of them comes along to one of your group outings, or something like that.

 

speaking from personal experience! (i'm a gal, and i've been in your gf's shoes)

 

-yes

[velvet]

It comes with age. While I grew up I got along more with the guys. The girls I thought were to prissy, bitchy, nose up in air couldn't do anything but butt heads with them.

 

So I kept with close girl friends and hung out with guys. I did up until I was 19. In fact while I was 19 my best friends were both guys my age. After work we went out together, partied, bowled, or whatever because we were comfortable.

 

Of course in my mind I new I was wanted by both. I was even very attracted to one but I didn't date him.

 

They were a part of my comfort zone. As I have grown and realize that hanging out with the guys is not the same anymore.

 

I suppose it all has to do with your friends age and if she has matured to notice the difference. Maybe your friend wants to date one of these guys?

[Tony T]

It's normal and it's healthy but you can bet that these guys are just chomping at the bit for the two of you to break up. What they don't know is that they wouldn't stand a chance in hell with your girlfriend if that happened. I promise you she wouldn't have anything to do with them romantically.

 

If they are hanging around her with the hope of developing more in the future, they are absolute fools. Your girlfriend probably puts no great significance on their agendas because she knows she's not interested.

[yes]

i must disagree on this one, Tony.

 

one of those "friends" may be a guy that she likes, but he doesn't like her back or she's not sure that he likes her back. therefore, she stays with her bf, and is "friends" with the guy, waiting for more to develop with him, before she dumps her bf.

 

believe me, i've been there!!

 

i'm not saying thats the case always - i also have plenty of guy-friends who used to like me & who i'd never date.

 

-yes

[mighty bop]

The Billy Crystal quote pretty much says it all..........

[Ally Boo]

I don't think that it's ok, normal or healthy. The only way that it COULD be, is as Yes suggested, to get involved too.

 

Let me share something with you....

 

I have an old friend who has always had a crush on me, but the feelings were not returned by me. When we would be involved with someone, we wouldn't spend much time together, if any at all. I know that during my marriage and engagement we NEVER saw each other, and RARELY talked on the phone. And we used to be best friends.

 

When he met a girl online, and they got serious...(he eventually moved there), he gave her my screen name and she talked to me every day. We became friends...and that's how it became "okay" with her...that we were friends.

 

Although, I hate to say it, guys and girls are different, and if I were a guy, I would be very uncomfortable if I were in your shoes. Talk to her about it and see what she says.

[Mamma2twogirls]

Have u ever had female friends you talked to, while having a girlfriend? A SERIOUS long time girlfriend? And if so, did u end up having feelings for that friend? That is my problem, only we've got kids, and he has a friendship with a female that I was unaware of til I caught him on a phone bill. Why did he keep it from me? As for your issue, I think if your girlfriend TRULY loves you, she wouldnt leave u for anyone. I have had a couple of male friends while with my guy, and of course, there were times were the conversation may have been inappropriate for me being attached, but I never let it turn into anything. I love my guy and I would never jeapardize our relationship, just because someone else is paying attention to me.

[Ally Boo]

My boyfriend has had a friend he's known online for a while, and she calls him every night to talk to him...even though she knows he's seeing someone. She woke us up 3 times last night...and finally at 1 am, he answered it the last time and told her that he was with me and we were sleeping...she got mad and hung up. I was like "Does she think that somehow her calling you at 1 in the morning is not going to piss your girlfriend off??!" He goes...she obviously can't take a hint, I'll talk to her tomorrow. ughhh If this keeps happening I dont know what to do...except pick up the phone and tell her what I think! heh