what do i do?

[Guest]

Hi everyone,

 

I really need some advice. I wish I didn't find myself in this position, but I do and right now I have no idea which way to turn... Mine is a long story.. here goes..

 

Two years ago, a married colleague who I was very good friends with and I started an emotional affair. He had a very rocky, volatile marriage and unfortunately, we developed feelings for each other. A couple of months passed where we tried to fight our feelings and even went through periods of no contact, so that he could try and work on his marriage. In those couple of months, there were numerous times when one or the other would move out after a huge fight. During this time his W fell pregnant. They again tried to make it work, but couldn't. She also found out about our feelings for one another. They eventually decided to call it quits and she moved to another state to live with her parents. That is when our relationship started. It was an emotional roller-coaster with him going through stages of doubt and longing for his daughter. He went up there for her birth, spent ten days, and made an effort to go every second weekend to see her. His heart was always torn in two, should he hold onto love with both hands, or should he give up what we have to be able to be with his daughter.

 

This went on for 2 years, with much manipulation coming from his W. Constant fighting, her refusing to let him see his daughter on Christmas day, but only telling him once he travelled all the way. Divorce papers were served by her, but there was much fighting about custody and visitation, so nothing was finalised.

 

We were happy and we were in love.... he just really battled with the thought of him not being able to form a real bond with his daughter who is now 18 months.

 

He needed to travel out of country for a couple of months and we decided that we needed to take this time out to see if he could sort his feelings out. We had very little contact in this time. And in this time he decided that he would sacrifice everything to be with his daughter... He is returning to a verbally, physically and emotionally abusive relationship for his daughter.

 

His W is now planning on moving back here when he gets back from out of country. But he is a broken man and I do not know what to do or say to him. He cries everytime we speak, he is only now realising the repercussions of his decision....He loves and misses me and my son, he knows he won't be happy and doesn't know what to do anymore... I don't know what to do. Do I step aside and let him work this out on his own or do I be there for him. I am not talking about an 'A', i will not go down that road...everytime I speak to him and I hear him crying, I beg him not to do this... She also wants him to sign a document saying he loses everything and all rights to his daughter should he have any contact with me.... what do I do and what do I tell him to do?

 

Any advice will be appreciated..