mrmaximum Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Variety is the spice of life. See if you can get another one on the side, like him. It will help keep the relationship "fresh," and you will hopefully avoid getting bored with him. Isn't it awesome when people treat other people like possesions, or what they can get out of them? YAY!!! Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Maybe his wife will find an OM for herself and have abit of fun on the side as well. Why should he be the only one to have 2 women in his life, to have his cake and eat it too? She thinks the affair is over and things are back to normal. This guy obviously has no respect for his wife or SIL. Or himself for that matter. But SIL likes being a piece on the side. She doesn't want a full time relationship and she obviously doesn't care that his wife is being deceived or the pain that has already been caused by their affair. Oh to live a life where you can do anything you want and not worry about how it effects others. I would call it hell, but that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Im curious to why you posted this. You didn't really ask a question, just stated your decision. I hope you at least entertain the idea of dating someone else. You are putting his marriage at risk and you are robbed of having someone full time. Link to post Share on other sites
Freedom Now Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 The only thing good about this thread is NoraJane's lilacs! Love em but we don't have them out here in the southwest. Oh well..... Carry on. To the OP, wow. Simply, wow. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 If all parties are fine with the open marriage arrangement, I guess it takes all kinds. It doesn't appear to be the case in your situation. I feel very badly for his betrayed wife. I hope she becomes the owner of all that is his... Small compensation for the grief she has experienced and is probably continuing to experience. Btw, you really are an incredibly selfish individual. You'll probably be back to LS in six months under a new user name with a ton of angst, looking for "support" when it hits the fan again. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Well it if it works for you and yours, and it makes you happy go for it! But I have my serious doubts of the long term effect of this scenario. But who is anyone to judge how you should live your own life? Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Well it if it works for you and yours, and it makes you happy go for it! But I have my serious doubts of the long term effect of this scenario. But who is anyone to judge how you should live your own life? Ummmm let's see. How about the man's WIFE. Unbelievably selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 I decided to be his mistress forever!!!!!! Implies commitment on your part, at least one person in your relationship can show commitment. Have you discussed this with him ? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 yes as long as you feel happy about it. but be sure to be on the look-out.... when you feel this relationship has negative impacts on you, leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Chapter2 Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Not to split hairs but since when does an OP get even half of their MM/MW? There was a time when I would have been over the moon to get half...not so now, but regretfully, there was a time. I will settle for nothing less than 100% now. The truth is that most times you don't come second, third, fourth or even fifth... You come last and the "I love you's" and "if only I could be with you I would's" are supposed to sustain you while you continue to dive into the same pool that holds no water~~the concrete hurts a little more each time. Its truly akin to being a dog on the track...somehow that rabbit is always just a smidge out of reach... I realize this may not be universal but for the ones whose MM/MW continue to say things like "I'm going to leave but the time isn't right"...guard your heart if you can. Being someone's "part-time" love! Maaan why didn't I think of that, half their heart, half their attention, half the sex for me and half for her...half their lives and .. best of all half their love! Those other women are soo missing out with their men that won't share or be shared! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 You come last and the "I love you's" and "if only I could be with you I would's" are supposed to sustain you while you continue to dive into the same pool that holds no water~~the concrete hurts a little more each time. Ouch. Talk about self-destructive. Sounds like she's headed for the high diving board... Link to post Share on other sites
sadbuttrue Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 i guess i just dont see how anyone who truly loves another, would settle on never having a true relationship with them, and actually think it is a good idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Freedom Now Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Self destructive? That is simply the truth. Been there, done that. Never again. I guess everyone has to learn on their own, sadly. Link to post Share on other sites
Chapter2 Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 I do agree but unfortunately I only saw how self destructive it was when I looked back...I honestly thought the pool I was diving into had the most beautiful, crystal clear, cool water in the universe...it was a mirage and I couldn't see it till my fever broke. Self destructive? That is simply the truth. Been there, done that. Never again. I guess everyone has to learn on their own, sadly. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 If you think this is better than a real relationship, think again. Maybe you don't want the trouble and responsibility that goes along with relating to a whole person. Half a person is an easier dose to swallow. Your heart deserves a whole person. And, yes, you would have to work harder for that kind of relationship. And take risks. And give of yourself. When you say you don't want that, aren't you really telling yourself you don't deserve it? Because you do. And there is a whole man out there looking for you. If your MM really loves you, he will understand that and let you go. Link to post Share on other sites
mrmaximum Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 At this point there are somethings that you are forgoing for the 'benefits' so to speak. I can see the 'sense' behind this line of thinking. What happens when this get's old? Yeah it's good now, but there are some benefits that you are missing out on. I really wonder if you are so 'committed' to this situation as you say, and what will transpire when the ***** hits the fan, for the second time. Link to post Share on other sites
pelagicsands Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 If your MM really loves you, he will understand that and let you go. Maybe I prefer to think it should be a joint decision, if possible - the relationship kind of belongs to both of them. Life isn't perfect, and sometimes we believe we are doing the best thing for all concerned. Something like a "sum of the good outweighs the evil" thing. It's not always about being selfish. What's the point of living, if you don't feel alive? Link to post Share on other sites
mrmaximum Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Maybe I prefer to think it should be a joint decision, if possible - the relationship kind of belongs to both of them. Life isn't perfect, and sometimes we believe we are doing the best thing for all concerned. Something like a "sum of the good outweighs the evil" thing. It's not always about being selfish. What's the point of living, if you don't feel alive? At the expense of someone else? Why should the wife live a lie? Doesn't she deserve more than this? Link to post Share on other sites
JustBecause Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Please think twice. My mm's (exmm) wife pushed my down an escalator. That quickley changed my mind about our relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
pelagicsands Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 At the expense of someone else? Why should the wife live a lie? Doesn't she deserve more than this? Marriage is all about compromise. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Marriage is all about compromise. Apparently in this situation, it's about compromising the trust of an unknowing third person, the betrayed wife. I guess this OW needs to hit rock bottom first or, maybe she's there and doesn't have the self-respect to rise above it. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 I decided to be his mistress for as long as I can. Here is the story for those that don't know me. I have been having a affair with a much older man. We were both married, 8 months ago his W found out and the hell began. I told my H and we endded our marriage. MM is still married and probably will remain that way. After breaking up and making up inumerous times I decided that I don;t want end the affair and I don't want him to leave his W either. Maybe I feel guilty or maybe I found out that I really enjoy being single and I like to see him sometimes and don't have to deal with another relationship. Well congratulations!! You just gave this man everything he ever wants!! He gets to keep his family and get his meaningless part-time piece of ass on the side! Your a cheating bastard's dream come true!!! Link to post Share on other sites
pelagicsands Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 I guess this OW needs to hit rock bottom first or, maybe she's there and doesn't have the self-respect to rise above it. It takes two to tango. I really like the idea of a rock bottom, but I would recommend that she avoids public transport like the plague. For a while, anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Here's a quote from you from your Septemeber 11th thread about this MM: i just told my MM to take a hike, he really annoyed this time. I told him I wont lie to him anymore and if his dear wife ever contacts me I will tell her the whole truth.He wants me to wait for him,he can't leave her , he wants to me to wait until she dies or dumps him that the only to ways he would leave her and bla bla bla. I have no feelings in my heart at this moment I feel like a rock.Maybe a little anger, I really start to see him in a different light. He said if I don't lie to his wife than I don't love him. I probably just gonna tell her to go and ask her husband and hang up.He thinks she will contact me since she can't take the truth out of him.I am afraid I will weaken later but right now I feel pretty strong and I feel that I am start to dislike him very much. So what happened that you now think he's Mr. Wonderful again and want to spend the rest of your life being his mistress? Is his wife still contemplating suicide like she was 5 months after she found out about your affair with her H? Is this the kind of life you really want for yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
pelagicsands Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Well congratulations!! You just gave this man everything he ever wants!! Finally! Someone has something nice to say. It's wonderful to see love being given so freely. Link to post Share on other sites
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