pureinheart Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 Worrying about being killed is not a reason to think why not to do this stop putting fear into her n reguards to this matter. Instead think of reality. OP's life is meaningfull, she is struggling with this decision or she would not have posted this thread to being with. I don't think that she wants to be his mistress forever she knows it and I know it... Hi Pricillia, I was not targeting possible violence in Darths comment, but the fact that I thought less of myself and am now thinking more of myself.... For the record, fear saved my life, fear is not always a bad thing.... Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 Fear is used for intimidation tactics, a means for control....to control a situation or person in a situation. Truth can bring forth fear, which is good if the truth is acted upon.... Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 Hi Pricillia, I was not targeting possible violence in Darths comment, but the fact that I thought less of myself and am now thinking more of myself.... For the record, fear saved my life, fear is not always a bad thing.... Thanks for sharing Pure, I know that you were not targeting violence and I understand how fear can either hinder or help a sitation. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 This lifestyle is fun for a season, but when that season passes comes the great pain. I am not trying to be mean, so please know this is just my opinion...I see you extremely dependant, especially concerning relationships....it may be a different form, but it is still dependant. I understand the need for accolades from a man (or men) showing attention. True independance is marked when this is no longer a need, and then one is freed up to either seek true love, or remain single.... I don't think I am dependant on any men. I love my freedom... I love the fact that I can choose whether I want to see someone or not... single or married. I feel no pain, never, because I don't fall in love with these guys, I don't want any commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 I don't think I am dependant on any men. I love my freedom... I love the fact that I can choose whether I want to see someone or not... single or married. I feel no pain, never, because I don't fall in love with these guys, I don't want any commitment. hmmm that would take so much disipline for me personally not to let loves feelings get in the way. But then again I am only with someone because of the strong feelings that I feel Link to post Share on other sites
Author scaredinlove Posted April 29, 2007 Author Share Posted April 29, 2007 Thanks for sharing Pure, I know that you were not targeting violence and I understand how fear can either hinder or help a sitation. Pricilla and pure thanks for your concern but I don't think she is a violent person. I've talked to her once and althought she had left a nasty message for me before the second time she was polite. I don't think she is the kind who would hurt me. Sometimes I worry about my exH ,but if I had any other man I would worry the same. That is another advantage of keeping it a secret for now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scaredinlove Posted April 29, 2007 Author Share Posted April 29, 2007 I don't think I am dependant on any men. I love my freedom... I love the fact that I can choose whether I want to see someone or not... single or married. I feel no pain, never, because I don't fall in love with these guys, I don't want any commitment. It is good to be like that , no hurt. Unfortunatelly I do have feelings for this man , very deep ones. But I am trying to acommodate him in my life. I do love my freedom and sometimes I think it would be much easier if I had no feelings for him at all. you go girl! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 It is good to be like that , no hurt. Unfortunatelly I do have feelings for this man , very deep ones. But I am trying to acommodate him in my life. I do love my freedom and sometimes I think it would be much easier if I had no feelings for him at all. you go girl! I agree it is much much easier when you don't have feelings for the man but unfortunately it is not the case most of the time. I wasn't always like that either... I don't know what happened in my life but I just don't seem to get 'attached' to anyone. I think that the fact that I have many lovers could be one reason why I just don't fall in love, I don't know, and I really am not trying to analyse my situation, I am very happy with the way I am. Thanks... I hope everything will fall into place for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 I don't think I am dependant on any men. I love my freedom... I love the fact that I can choose whether I want to see someone or not... single or married. I feel no pain, never, because I don't fall in love with these guys, I don't want any commitment. The thing that poped out at me most in this post was I FEEL NO PAIN that to me says just the opisate that you do feel alot of pain. And maybe your self esteem suffers because of that. So that being the case you alow these men to use you the way you do. And you yourself have said you are happy to use them as well. Something verry hurtfull must have happned to you to erode your sence of self worth to the point it is at I feel verry sorry for you honestly. Much like the OP of this thread you bouth need to stop take a good look at how your actions are HONESTLY makeing you feel in your own hearts and minds. And then if you can possibly see thu the ME ME ME I I I smoke screen.Maybe think about how much hurt you are causeing the MMs wifes?? I mean I saw some weres in this thread that she had thought about or tryed to kill herself??? Dosent that bother you at all what if she had gone thu with it how would you ever be able to sleep at night?? Or even more be with him knowing that your A had caused it.I honestly dont get that part of it but then again maybe I just have redickulasly high morrals go figure!! Yea you go girl.. High five.. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 I don't think I am dependant on any men. I love my freedom... I love the fact that I can choose whether I want to see someone or not... single or married. I feel no pain, never, because I don't fall in love with these guys, I don't want any commitment. So...you condone yourself and anyone like you dating a married man and aiding the betrayal of someone's wife? Link to post Share on other sites
mrmaximum Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 So...you condone yourself and anyone like you dating a married man and aiding the betrayal of someone's wife? It's like banging your head on the wall, been there done that on another thread. "She" is probably a troll or she's really telling the truth and she is in Karma's hands. Either way you're wasting your time. Others have tried and there's no point. The OP is the one who may be looking for advice, best to focus on them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scaredinlove Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 It's like banging your head on the wall, been there done that on another thread. "She" is probably a troll or she's really telling the truth and she is in Karma's hands. Either way you're wasting your time. Others have tried and there's no point. The OP is the one who may be looking for advice, best to focus on them. Not every BS is a saint and not every other woman is a troll. There are many different situations out there! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 The thing that poped out at me most in this post was I FEEL NO PAIN that to me says just the opisate that you do feel alot of pain. And maybe your self esteem suffers because of that. So that being the case you alow these men to use you the way you do. And you yourself have said you are happy to use them as well. Something verry hurtfull must have happned to you to erode your sence of self worth to the point it is at I feel verry sorry for you honestly. Much like the OP of this thread you bouth need to stop take a good look at how your actions are HONESTLY makeing you feel in your own hearts and minds. And then if you can possibly see thu the ME ME ME I I I smoke screen.Maybe think about how much hurt you are causeing the MMs wifes?? I mean I saw some weres in this thread that she had thought about or tryed to kill herself??? Dosent that bother you at all what if she had gone thu with it how would you ever be able to sleep at night?? Or even more be with him knowing that your A had caused it.I honestly dont get that part of it but then again maybe I just have redickulasly high morrals go figure!! Yea you go girl.. High five.. you alow these men to use you the way you do. trust me on this one... I use them much more than they use me... LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Not every BS is a saint and not every other woman is a troll. There are many different situations out there! and I should add... that these people who are quick to judge should never say never... (could happen to them as well) Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 It's like banging your head on the wall, been there done that on another thread. "She" is probably a troll or she's really telling the truth and she is in Karma's hands. Either way you're wasting your time. Others have tried and there's no point. The OP is the one who may be looking for advice, best to focus on them. Oh I know it max...there are people out there that don't give a crap who they hurt as long as they get what they want. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Not every BS is a saint and not every other woman is a troll. There are many different situations out there! But your situation isn't one of them. You are one of those that don't care as long as you get your selfish desires met. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 and I should add... that these people who are quick to judge should never say never... (could happen to them as well) Sorry...some of us have a stronger constitution than others. If it could happen to you because of YOUR character...then thats your problem. But if you think that it could happen to anyone, or would like to think that it could happen to anyone so that you feel better about yourself...then think that all ya want. I know for a fact I will never be in a situation where I am either a cheater, or knowingly sleeping with someone's wife. If I ever get divorced, the only way I'd be sleeping with someone's wife is if she lied to me and said she wasn't married...and then once I'd find out, she'd be history. And there is the difference between half the OW/OM on here and the other half. Some of them find themselves in the situation because the worthless MM/MW lied to them about their marital status, and there are some that know and don't give a crap who they hurt or what family they are helping to destroy...case in point with the author of this thread and yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scaredinlove Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 But your situation isn't one of them. You are one of those that don't care as long as you get your selfish desires met. How do you know my situation? Do you really know it? You might be wrong..... Do you really know what my desires are? You might be surprise...do you really know the OP she might be a very selfish person... Maybe you should be a follow your own gospel. Aren't you saying we have no compaxion? You don't have much either ,do you? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Have to agree with SC. I don't get people who say "You never know..it could happen to you too." They say it as if it's really something that just "happens" and not a conscious choice...and yes, we're talking about those who weren't duped and those who continue even after they find out the truth. It's absurd. It's never happened to me and if I were single again, it would NEVER happen. I never have allowed it to happen and I never would allow it to happen. It was always MY choice. So what if the guy was gorgeous and charming? He was married and that meant, for me, all bets are off. I don't get those who think this is ok. I really don't. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Not every BS is a saint and not every other woman is a troll. Geez, noone is trying to canonize the BS. Are you insinuating that their lack of a halo is to blame for the WS infidelities? ALL other woman are contributing to the detriment of a marriage as well as taking a role in causing harm to innocent parties whatever their intentions may be. Just because they get something out of it (LUV:love: ) justifies it no more than the BS's lack of sainthood. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 How do you know my situation? Do you really know it? Uh...because you posted it. You might be wrong..... Do you really know what my desires are? You might be surprise...do you really know the OP she might be a very selfish person... So you are saying the words you posted here are incorrect? Maybe you should be a follow your own gospel. Aren't you saying we have no compaxion? You don't have much either ,do you? I have no compassion for those who knowingly hurt other people and don't care as long as they get what THEY want. I have compassion for people who are hurt by people like you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scaredinlove Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 Not every BS is a saint and not every other woman is a troll. Geez, noone is trying to canonize the BS. Are you insinuating that their lack of a halo is to blame for the WS infidelities? ALL other woman are contributing to the detriment of a marriage as well as taking a role in causing harm to innocent parties whatever their intentions may be. Just because they get something out of it (LUV:love: ) justifies it no more than the BS's lack of sainthood. No I just said that we should not be black and white, there are a lot of gray areas in this situations. Maybe the BS is a orrible abusive person and the WS cannot find a way out and they cheat. Maybe the BS drove the other person to cheat, maybe not.I have seen many different stories. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scaredinlove Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 Uh...because you posted it. So you are saying the words you posted here are incorrect? I have no compassion for those who knowingly hurt other people and don't care as long as they get what THEY want. I have compassion for people who are hurt by people like you. Are you sure you are not hurting people deliberated too? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 No I just said that we should not be black and white, there are a lot of gray areas in this situations. Maybe the BS is a orrible abusive person and the WS cannot find a way out and they cheat. Maybe the BS drove the other person to cheat, maybe not.I have seen many different stories. Nothing is always black and white in life, but even if a BS is a horrible person, it's still a thinking process and a choice for a WS to cheat. But, to say that the BS drove the person to cheat is a cop-out...Especially if the BS is an abuser, that's like saying the WS deserved to be abused because WS drove BS to abuse them...So WS cheats because BS made them do it, it was their only choice? What ever happened to just leaving? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 No I just said that we should not be black and white, there are a lot of gray areas in this situations. Maybe the BS is a orrible abusive person and the WS cannot find a way out and they cheat. Maybe the BS drove the other person to cheat, maybe not.I have seen many different stories. What a crock! No one "drives" anyone to do anything unless they're holding a gun to your head..anything less than that and it's a matter of CHOICE..your choice. The classy and moral thing to do if the spouse is so bad is to separate from them, move out and file for divorce before they start a new relationship. Anything less than that, is sleazy and wrong. I mean if the spouse is THAT bad, it shouldn't be so hard to leave before starting something new, right? Link to post Share on other sites
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