Dim Sum Posted January 5, 2003 Share Posted January 5, 2003 hi everyone, this is my first post. so please bear with me... i have recently broke up with my gf of 2.5 years a couple months ago. during the past 2 months, i met this extraordinary lady who was basically everything that my ex was not. she is outgoing, sociable, liked to party etc while my ex was more shy and soft spoken, and didn't like leaving the house. this new girl and i have been spending quite a lot of time together. we've kissed and expressed to each other how we are crazy for each other. however, this girl is also in the process of breaking up with her bf (whom she has said she was taking a break from). i don't know if this break up will occur or not since they've been together for a very long time (5 years). but i trust her when she says that things haven't been going too well. but i can't help but wonder if maybe she's just playing me along (having her cake and eating it too so to speak). Just recently, i have started to think of my ex more and more. Just memories of the good times and feelings we shared. and i find myself missing it. and i find myself second guessing my decision of breaking up with her. i was looking for someone who was more outgoing and extroverted, and i found her. but i can't help but think of my ex every now and then. and then when i do i think of the reasons why we broke up and why i wasn't happy. she says she is willing to change. but i don't think you can change a person's personality and have them still stay happy. i have feelings for two very wonderful people and i'm at a loss as to what to do. any advice or questions i should ask myself would be greatly appreciated. thanx. Link to post Share on other sites
finalba Posted January 5, 2003 Share Posted January 5, 2003 Hi there, You probably need some time on your own to decide whom you want. Life would be perfect if we could take bits of a person and mix them all up in a bag together, we would have the perfect mate. Sounds like you want your ex-back but you like your new girl too but you will have to choose, take your time if they allow you to. Hope it works out well for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted January 5, 2003 Share Posted January 5, 2003 however, this girl is also in the process of breaking up with her bf (whom she has said she was taking a break from). i don't know if this break up will occur or not since they've been together for a very long time (5 years). but i trust her when she says that things haven't been going too well. Ha! You've been hanging out with her for 2 months now, spending time together, and she's still "not broken up with the boyfriend she's SUPPOSEDLY not happy with"? She's a player and a tramp, IMO. A decent human being doesn't remain in one relationship (regardless of how long they've been in it) AND be spending time with someone else, at the same time. That's just tacky. Yes, I suspect very strongly that she's quite enjoying having her cake and eating it, too. Would you really want to be with someone who could possibly do the same thing to you in the future?...perhaps end up in a serious relationship with you but be out seeing someone else? She's surely not very respectful to her boyfriend of 5 yrs.....imagine how he'd feel if he knew that she was hanging out with you? He'd be crushed. You need her like you need a root canal. Maybe you should give your ex a second chance? There's much more to her, I'm sure, than the fact that she's not a social-butterfly/party girl. The latter are often trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 Whatever you decide, just remember that you will never totally get over an ex...and that ex's are usually ex's for a good reason... Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 Ally, about what you've said, and I've heard it many times before: "An ex is an ex for a reason." For the most part, I totally have to agree. Yep. But...sometimes an ex becomes an ex when their partner one day decides that the 'grass might be greener on the other side'......which might just be the case here?.......this guy found his ex too quiet, not all that outgoing......now he met someone who IS these things, and she's nothing but trouble. Sometimes we THINK that "someone else would be better" (more fun, more stimulating, etc)......but when we actually GET what it is we thought we were missing, we find that it's just not all that it's cracked up to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 An ex who leaves me bc the "grass may be greener" isn't someone who would deserve me anyway....and I would hope others would feel the same way about themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dim Sum Posted January 8, 2003 Author Share Posted January 8, 2003 thanx everyone for your opinions. i've decided that i'm going to try to work things out with my ex. hopefully i haven't botched things up too badly. i appreciate all your help. Link to post Share on other sites
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