get.mos Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 you know, considering the fact that you've posed for fetish photography, it's a little difficult not to see your hypocrisy. first off, i'm sorry to hear that your bf renegged on his promise to not watch porn out of respect for you. i'm not sure i would have made that promise, however, if i don't think i could keep it. and, frankly, i don't think he can keep the promise. secondly, i think it's very sad that you feel compelled to do such research (looking up his cache on his computer) to see whether or not your bf is being true to you. has he been unfaithful before? if not, your behavior is as if you don't trust him. and most relationships don't last when there isn't any trust involved. kudos to you for acknowledging your self-esteem issues. you may want to do more than acknowledge it: you may want to work on that. low self-esteem, as well as your control issues, will hinder this and any future relationships you have. my take: it's just porn. he could be going out and actually doing other women. good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
rtHawk Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 The OP feels that stimulation is stimulation... this is for her the difficulty and I understand how she feels I would ask though, what is not more intimate then looking at some porn "HO's" spread out labia??? sorry for the graphics, but porn is inteaded not to be "intimate" in the capacity of love but initimate in the capacity of close-ups and details.(created manufactured sex acted out by real people , evn if they are manufactured and surgically altered) Lots of women like the OP, see the lusting-"stimulation" of another woman; on a dvd, etc as an indiscretion. In a book, you aren't seeing the created-industry-ideal version of the what they put out for you in a porn What you create in your mind is fleeting and doesn't usually carry very vivid-graphic detail... Porn provides alll the detail and then some, and you can watch it over and over and over. I think romance novels aren't the concern of the OP; it is what she is willing to take on, compromise and deal with... and IMHO, if she wants a "real man" as one poster commented, she should set him aside and stand by her standards. There are non -porn men out there, why should she compromise her sense of a relationship all for the "choice" her BF makes. Porn is a choice, it is NOT a need. Link to post Share on other sites
rtHawk Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 you know, considering the fact that you've posed for fetish photography, it's a little difficult not to see your hypocrisy. first off, i'm sorry to hear that your bf renegged on his promise to not watch porn out of respect for you. i'm not sure i would have made that promise, however, if i don't think i could keep it. and, frankly, i don't think he can keep the promise. secondly, i think it's very sad that you feel compelled to do such research (looking up his cache on his computer) to see whether or not your bf is being true to you. has he been unfaithful before? if not, your behavior is as if you don't trust him. and most relationships don't last when there isn't any trust involved. kudos to you for acknowledging your self-esteem issues. you may want to do more than acknowledge it: you may want to work on that. low self-esteem, as well as your control issues, will hinder this and any future relationships you have. my take: it's just porn. he could be going out and actually doing other women. good luck. He renegs on something that she and he clearly discussed in the beginning of the R and yet somehow it is her self esteem issues and her "trust" issues..at ? Her BF obviously couldn't be trusted could he??? where was the committment to their agreement.... he has just reinforced her inability to find trust in someone else becuase he renegged and basically lied to her.... it's called accountability!!!!!!! if he lied about the porn, he may just lie about other women. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 You know, I'm a woman and I love porn. Way more than my husband, in fact. We don't let it become a problem and if you've done fetish pics, chances are I've checked you out too lol, and when I was looking at you I wouldn't have thought of you as a real person, I would have thought about you as a fantasy. It isn't real, none of it, not the books, not the pics...none. It's all there for fantasy. You don't look at pics of naked people and think about calling them up to go have sex with them, that's not realistic. Real is real, fantasy is fantasy. Whatever your medium. Link to post Share on other sites
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