Is hitting a wall really abusive, do I have abusive traits????

[samsungxoxo]

Reason I'm wondering b/c there were these two or occassions where I felt like snapping out on my b/f (kinda like either shaking or slapping him).

 

Anyways there was this one occassions where my younger brother (who's turning 5 this upcoming month) did anger me with this tantrums along with direct disobediance and so I lost it. I grab him by both arms and started shaking him along with screaming at him, slap with a bit. Well to make matter worst my b/f saw it all and got scare (he did brought it up recently and stated at that moment he was scare that I might snap at him, but I assure I won't). But see my brother was frustrating me at that moment, it's not like I meant it.

 

Then came this other occassion at the mall were there was this discussion with b/f and I punch a wall with my fist, I was like "At least that's better than hitting people don't you think, didn't you ever felt like hitting things", in which his answer was a "no".

 

Should I be concern or not or is this what most people go through.

[boshemia]

direct disobediance and so I lost it. I grab him by both arms and started shaking him along with screaming at him, slap with a bit. Well to make matter worst my b/f saw it all and got scare

 

This is child abuse, no way around it. If the incident were reported to police it would most likely result in an abuse charge.

 

This is something you should be concerned about, especially if your boyfriend is expressing concern over it. I say this as a person who has been in abusive relationships.

 

But see my brother was frustrating me at that moment, it's not like I meant it.

 

This phrase says a lot more than you think. Your brother wasn't frustrating you, you chose to be frustrated. You also chose which actions you would take to alleviate that frustration. You could have walked away, and talked to him about it when you had both cooled off. You could have set him in the corner and waited until everything cooled down to explain that the behavior was not appropriate.

 

I'm going to give you some links, because this is something you have to figure out for yourself. Please share these links with your boyfriend as well.

 

This page has many, many resources. To help indentify behaviors and what to do about them.

http://www.drirene.com/

 

This is their forum, beware, these people will tell you the truth, I've never seen them tell someone what they wanted to hear, but if you really want help, they will tell you what you need to hear.

http://www.drirene.com/catbox/index.php?showforum=24

[bonehead]

Anyways there was this one occassions where my younger brother (who's turning 5 this upcoming month) did anger me with this tantrums along with direct disobediance and so I lost it. I grab him by both arms and started shaking him along with screaming at him, slap with a bit. Well to make matter worst my b/f saw it all and got scare (he did brought it up recently and stated at that moment he was scare that I might snap at him, but I assure I won't). But see my brother was frustrating me at that moment, it's not like I meant it.

 

That is a crime pure and simple.

 

You line " But see my brother was frustrating me at that moment, it's not like I meant it " worries me.

 

You are trying to justify your behavior, which means you KNOW it was wrong, but feel the need to make it not wrong.

 

By the way, this can and does KILL children.

[Woggle]

You need to get some help to deal with your anger. If not things will get ugly and it will only get worse.

[Craig]

You need to get some help to deal with your anger. If not things will get ugly and it will only get worse.

 

Well said Woggle.

 

Ailec1987 you are going to jail or prison if you don't get help for your anger problems. You have been warned repeatedly by people on LS that you need to get help but keep coming back with these stories. You have a huge problem and it is going to ruin your life unless you handle it.

[IpAncA]

Should I be concern or not or is this what most people go through.

 

No this isn't a common thing. How about checking into an anger management program?

[coco_milkshake]

Ailec,

 

This is a major problem that you have and it IS something to be concerned about. I have seen many of your posts and it is always to do with your anger.

 

Doing that to a 5 year old and trying to justify it by saying he was "frustrating" you is not good hon. Have you thought about seeing a counsellor about this or at least attending anger management classes?

 

The fact that your own bf is scared of your behaviour should be a wake up call. Shaking a young child like that is an offense and if an outsider was there in place of your boyfriend you would be in prison for child abuse. Simple as. Please do something about it before its too late.

[whichwayisup]

Reason I'm wondering b/c there were these two or occassions where I felt like snapping out on my b/f (kinda like either shaking or slapping him).

 

Anyways there was this one occassions where my younger brother (who's turning 5 this upcoming month) did anger me with this tantrums along with direct disobediance and so I lost it. I grab him by both arms and started shaking him along with screaming at him, slap with a bit. Well to make matter worst my b/f saw it all and got scare (he did brought it up recently and stated at that moment he was scare that I might snap at him, but I assure I won't). But see my brother was frustrating me at that moment, it's not like I meant it.

 

Then came this other occassion at the mall were there was this discussion with b/f and I punch a wall with my fist, I was like "At least that's better than hitting people don't you think, didn't you ever felt like hitting things", in which his answer was a "no".

 

Should I be concern or not or is this what most people go through.

 

You need to go back and read your older posts. You have been told by many that you have an anger problem and given the advice to seek counselling, and anger management.

 

You need to seriously get a grip. Just because your 5 YEAR OLD brother was frustrating you, getting on your nerves, does NOT give you the right to scream at him, shake him and grab his arms.

 

Ailec, you have a serious problem that needs to be dealt with NOW, otherwise one day you will hit your 5 year old brother...One day when you get married and have your own children, there's a good chance you'll smack them around because of your anger issues.

 

Are you looking for help or trying to justify/convince yourself that it's normal behaviour??? As I said before, go back and read all your previous past posts. There's certainly a pattern there - You get frustrated, you lose your patience and then something happens....

 

Please, get some help for this.