What have you done that has turned your life around for the better?

[funkify]

I've realised I'm at a stage where I need to make serious changes in my attitude and life otherwise I will be miserable. I'm lacking in self-confidence, have destructive relationships, argue with my family, I'm not responsible, and worst of all...things just don't make me happy anymore. I'm not depressed. I don't cry all day and have suicidal thoughts. I just feel I'm letting life slip away when I honestly have so much to be grateful for. I feel I need love so badly or I feel worthless. So many things I need to change but I don't know where to start. I've always wanted to be one of those people who's strong and can impress people with their determination etc, but I just can't. Am I doomed to live a life of misery?

 

Anyway, enough of my rambling. I'd like to know HOW any of you have changed your lives completely for the better? Not cliched sayings, because sayings are good and well but are not very practical when you want to try and implement them. They are often so great to hear but so hard to actually practice.

 

Looking forward to your responses

[Trialbyfire]

Am I doomed to live a life of misery?

No you're not because you realize that you have to make some changes in your life. It's a gradual process of changes which begins with taking personal responsibility over yourself. Firstly, to begin that empowering process, start with something small, even trivial that you know you can accomplish, like changing your hairstyle. Look in the mirror and say, hey, I look good, I like it.

 

Keep making these tiny gradual changes, each time picking something else that you know you can change but challenging yourself a little more. Gradually, you'll build up the confidence in knowing that you are able to make good decisions for yourself and you are able to control your life.

 

- edit: Don't be afraid to make mistakes on the way. If you do, give yourself a shake and say, okay, not a good move, I learned something, now on to the next thing.

[Storyrider]

In terms of taking action, as TBF said, make small changes at a time. Also, instead of trying to eliminate bad habits, replace them with new, good habits. Like, instead of saying, I'm not going to eat a whole box of choc. chip cookies anymore, decide you're going to have air popped popcorn instead. (stupid example, but just trying to keep this simple for time's sake)

 

But you can also change for the better by changing how you think about life. For me, the biggest change in my thinking that contributed to my happiness was when I started believing the universe is a place of order, where things happen for a reason and our actions, decisions, and relationships with others are meaningful and purposeful in the grand scheme of things. Once I believed this to be true, life made sense to me, even when I screwed up as I continue to do, being human.

 

Not saying you should believe this way, but look at your beliefs and ask yourself how they contribute to your happiness/unhappiness.

[Geishawhelk]

As your question asks "What have you done that has turned your life around for the better?" my answer would be

I stopped thinking that I was better than anyone else, or worse than anyone else, or for that matter, the same as anyone else.

 

I got on with life and paid less attention to that crappy idiot with poor judgement:

My ego.

 

Just thought I'd input.

 

Thank you.

 

carry on

[a4a]

Focused on the things I can do instead of the things I cannot.

[IpAncA]

I took a coaching class, read a few books. Helped me realize somethings.

[pulse]

I find helping others makes me feel like I'm making a meaningful contribution to the world. By helping others I'm helping myself by coming out of my little shell and realizing that the world does not revolve around me and I have a lot to be grateful for. Find at least one hr each week/month to give back to your community; it works at least for me.

[EC]

The first thing I did was really evaluate my friendships. I realized some where draining me more than helping me and I had to let them go.

 

Second thing I did was put myself first and stopped depending on people or things to make me happy.

 

Third thing I did was let go of everyones expectations of me and did what *I* wanted to do. I stopped giving a damn about what other people thought of me.

 

I read the book " Awakening the Giant Within" by Anthony Robbins and it helped me make small everyday changes that have helped me immensely!

 

I read this book when I was feeling all the things you mentioned above and right away I was able to implement the things it was saying and I have changed my life and I am happy. I remembered my goals, my determination, and my relationships have improved 100 %.

 

You really just have to say " Today is the day! "

 

I put that on my phone background, my screen saver, anywhere I could read it everyday.

 

Good luck!

[EricOnTheWeb]

You really just have to say " Today is the day! "

 

I put that on my phone background, my screen saver, anywhere I could read it everyday

 

 

LOL...I do that to...a constant reminder to not lose focus and those driving feelings to get what you want.. Mine is "StayFrosty"

[Pyro]

-Stopped caring what others thought of me

 

-Stopped worrying about the small things and stuff that i have no contol over

 

-Learned to accept my faults

 

-Cut ties with some bad people that i use to call friends

 

-Started exercising

 

-Quit drugs

 

-Read a very helpful book

 

-Learned to think before I act (for the most part)

[ThumbingMyWay]

I'd like to know HOW any of you have changed your lives completely for the better?

 

couple of things....

 

first off, my wifes affair completely changed the way I view life...I see things ALOT differently now....its like the pretty paint was stripped off of life and I got to see the brutal reality behind it all....wasnt very good looking....but it helps me to see the good things more clearly now....

 

Many years ago...I used to be very opinionated....to the point where It hurt my freindships and relationships. I all but stopped that side of me. I am very calculated in choosing my words when giving an opinion on something. I also try not to give an opinion unless i am asked...cept on LS....I give my opinion just as everyone else does here. Some like it, some dont.

 

The very recent passing of my grandpa has helped me SEE what this life is all about. He did more for others than he did for himslef. They dont make men like him anymore. He lived a life of caring and giving...and he never complained about it...never was selfish and always put others before him. He was a true humble servant of God. I look at that and I want to be a person like him...I want to be a grandpa like him....

 

Finally.....I read this book. http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/productr1.aspx?SID=1&Product_ID=1&Category_ID=68

 

It addition to the above, this book completely changed the attitude of my heart. Just as the opening sentence states..."Its not about you"

 

I try everyday...I pray everyday for God to give me grace to do the right thing. To give me strength to forego selfishness....To give me eyes that can SEE beyond ME.

[quankanne]

learned to accept myself, faults, worts and all. Because I realized that if I couldn't be comfortable with me, how could anyone else?

 

other thing I did was draw the line at getting sucked into emotionally draining relationships, esp. with family members. And that made a lot of the stress go away realizing that I didn't have to put up with crap from them that I wouldn't necessarily put up with from non-family members.

 

and I learned to be happy shining at the few things I am good at. Not that I'm the best, but it's my best, and therefore worthy

[sunshinegirl]

(1) I have learned to turn down my inner critical voice to accept myself and others "as is", not as I want them to be; and (2) I reconnected with my physical self through yoga, rock climbing, biking, rollerblading, running, etc.

[Ariadne]

Not cliched sayings, because sayings are good and well but are not very practical when you want to try and implement them.

 

Don't you hate that?

 

I know that you don't have a boyfriend, love, a job, money, family, your life sucks, etc etc... but you have health! Isn't that wonderful? Be thankful for the things you "have".

 

Ariadne

[ruby_gloom]

 

I know that you don't have a boyfriend, love, a job, money, family, your life sucks, etc etc...

 

:lmao:

 

I love your posts, Ariadne.

 

To the OP: There hasn't been anything I've done that has 'turned my life around for the better;' that would imply that I've somehow managed to make life better for myself than it was before, and that simply isn't the case for me.

 

Whenever I get overwhelmed to the point of snapping and begin to think that everything in and surrounding my life sucks, I take a break.

 

Whatever has to be done that afternoon can wait until tomorrow. I just stop, breathe, and take that afternoon off, opting to do what I enjoy--like listening to music or playing videogames--take a shower and then go to sleep.

 

Sometimes all you need to do is stop, breathe, and reboot.

[dgiirl]

I finally realized that my happiness is in direct proportion of my thoughts. And thus I try to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. It might be cliche, but it's a simple truth for me.

 

Thinking about how I have no boyfriend, no husband, no kids, no this and no that serves no purpose for me. It makes me depressed, thus I am making myself depressed. Where's the logic in that?

 

You say that you should be appreciative of things in your life? Then why dont you? Really focus on those things that ARE good in your life. Draw happiness from those things. When you find yourself dwelling on the negative things in your life, stop yourself and focus on the positives in your life. It does take practice, but in time it becomes a habit.

 

Also, like Storyrider, I started to believe in karma and that things happen for a reason. We might not like certain events happening in our life, but I truely believe they happen for a reason, and if we dont learn from those mistakes, we'll repeat them. Take the _good_ from everything, no matter how "bad" it is! And have faith that things come to us when we're meant to have them.

 

I've also become a lot more patient. I no longer get upset over trivial things. I use to have a lot of road rage when sitting in traffic. Now, I appreciate the moment, jack up my radio and sing along and have fun.

 

But all of this comes back to my thoughts. What I choose to focus on determines my happiness. Control your thoughts and you control your happiness.

[amerikajin]

I've realised I'm at a stage where I need to make serious changes in my attitude and life otherwise I will be miserable. I'm lacking in self-confidence, have destructive relationships, argue with my family, I'm not responsible, and worst of all...things just don't make me happy anymore. I'm not depressed. I don't cry all day and have suicidal thoughts. I just feel I'm letting life slip away when I honestly have so much to be grateful for. I feel I need love so badly or I feel worthless. So many things I need to change but I don't know where to start. I've always wanted to be one of those people who's strong and can impress people with their determination etc, but I just can't. Am I doomed to live a life of misery?

 

Anyway, enough of my rambling. I'd like to know HOW any of you have changed your lives completely for the better? Not cliched sayings, because sayings are good and well but are not very practical when you want to try and implement them. They are often so great to hear but so hard to actually practice.

 

Looking forward to your responses

 

Tell me more about yourself. How old are you? Are you living at home? Job? You said you're single? What specifically is it about your life that you're not happy with?

[Teacher's Pet]

1. Finding my comedic voice (going into comedy)

 

2. Learning about love through the eyes of a cat *starts sobbing softly*

 

3. Joining a fraternity in college (I was 100% ANTI-social before that)

 

4. Going online (lol....lost my virginity that way)

 

5. Most recently, learning how to make good, lasting friendships, and not wasting energy on useless "flings".

 

There ya go.

 

-tp

party animal.

[justpassingthrough]

*Learning it takes just as much energy to be happy as it does to be miserable and choosing to use my finite amount of energy to be happy.*

[coco_milkshake]

This is what I have learnt:

 

#1 To look after number 1 more and do what makes me happy rather than stop and think "what will so and so think?"

 

#2 To defend myself more. I am stubborn by nature but for good causes lol. I figure that I need to stand up for myself cos no one else will do that for me.

 

#3 To take each day as it comes. Yes there are times where I feel uncertain about my future and I panic when I think about what my family have planned but I have realised that anything can happen and its up to me to make it happen.

 

#4 To become more aware of other people. This past year has taught me that not all people are as genuine as they appear. It took me a year to start trusting myself and my own judgement before I started to trust others. I am not as naive as I used to be and I look out for the warning signs.

 

#5 You cant please everyone so do what is right for you. I am sick of trying to please my family and now I have developed the "I dont give a f*ck" attitude and I have never felt better. I have gained weight and I am a lot more happier than I was a year ago.

[monkey00]

Hope

 

I dont know if that rings true for everyone, but I believe that it is a strong foundation for everything you do that brings meaning to your life. Even if it ranges from walking your dog, greeting people, doing your job, taking out the trash, calling up friends.

 

For me its simple things like friends, focusing on my career, getting my own place, building relationships, family. Family is always important and should always be a priority. Over the years I've learned to respect my family more (especially my parents) more than I ever realized - but this im certain is something that comes with age.

 

Just believe all the little things you do today will lead to the bigger picture tomorrow - it always does.

[JCD]

I try to reduce my daily stress by any means possible. Sometimes I muck around with my hobbies. I learned to save money so I don't rely on paycheck to paycheck living thus reducing more stress. I'm learning to be mellow and enjoy the nature. I'm contempt with what I have and I'm glad I have my health which is most important to me. The worst that can happen is that I can die, everything else doesn't matter. We could be hit by a meteor tomorrow and it's completely out of our hands so why worry about our piddly human stuff when it means squat in the big picture.

[Fester Lungblood]

If you want to change your life then I strongly urge you to read and study Stephen Covey's , The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. If you use it like a Bible (and that means for the rest of your life) one day soon you will be amazed at who you've become.