jamielynn592 Posted May 1, 2007 Share Posted May 1, 2007 I'm just looking for advice... My bf has had a number of gf's in the past and has slept with a handful of them. I on the other hand, have not been with anyone. My current bf is not my first, but I haven't slept with anyone. I had asked him about how many girls he's been with a while ago, mostly for health purposes. We are in a very serious relationship and by far the best I've been in. Sometimes though, I think about his past and think that I don't measure up, or that he will compare me to them. I visualize these things in my head and I hate that I do that. I don't think about this often, but sometimes it gets to me. Many times I just feel hurt and sad, and I don't know how to get over this. If our relationship can continue, I need to get past this... I just don't know how. Any replies would be helpful... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 just dont think about it... and time will make it go away. think about all the great things he says about YOU! im sure if hes serious about you hes with you for a reason and nothing will change that speaking from experience, i was in the same situation with my ex. except i was the one with the past and my ex bf was not. i was his first everything... long story short, he OBSESSED over it and brought it up constantly, it drove me CRAZY! i had moved past my past, but he hadnt. i never thought of the guys from my past or missed them, had no desire to talk/be with them again. NEVER ONCE compared them to my ex... but in his head he thought i did. in fact him bringing it up all the time is what MADE me think of them! it eventually sabotaged the relationship in barely a year... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 I'm a guy in the same situation as you are with my woman. She's had 5 x's the number of partners I had (me 2, her 10). We've been together over 3 years and it still bothers me from time to time. Everyone tells me it shouldn't matter, I just need to get over it, and I wish I could or I wish that she wouldn't have had sex so many other guys or that I would have had sex with more women. I don't know how to get over it. I think the answer is that you just have to make up your mind that you won't let it bother you, but I've not been able to get there. Know this - it will ruin the relationship. I would say, if are able to get out of the relationship, then do so and do some thinking - do you need to sleep around to get experience so it won't bother you if your partner has experience, do you need to look for a partner who is a virgin too, or do you just need to accept your partners past regardless of your experience??? It's best to answer these questions for yourself before you get too serious with another person, because there are many people out there sleeping around without any forethought of whether it might bother a potential future marriage partner cause they simply figure their future partner is doing the same thing they are. I'm convinced that the worst thing you can do is stay in the relationship and let the issue make you and your partner miserable. Good luck on your decision. Link to post Share on other sites
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