Men...how important is it that your girlfriend cooks for you?

[Teddy and Jane]

I have a guy friend who is also single and said it's important to him to find a woman who really knows how to cook well. (I'm not interested, he's a friend.)

That made me think, in past relationships, I never did a lot of "cooking" for my beaus. I do make a great beef stew and make that in the fall/winter months sometimes. However since I am single, I tend not to really "cook" a lot for myself. I will use my George Foreman grill to "cook" a chicken breast and have a salad or vegetable with that. Or I will get a healthy choice through the drive through, or make a veggie pizza and it lasts a couple days for dinner. Lean Cuisine is also my friend. I'm just not really a "cook" and I realize that when I did have a guy over for dinner, it was never more elaborate than spaghetti with jarred sauce (although I did saute the sausage or meatballs) or my "famous" beef stew, or takeout from a favorite restaurant. I'm just not a gourmet and to keep my slim figure, the system I have going for myself just works for me. My last bf, we grilled a lot and he tended to be the "grillmaster" while I made the salad and side dishes (baked potatoe, something like that...but that's not really cooking, is it?)

However now since my friend said that, should I be working on my culinary skills and repertoire of meals I can cook?

Is a girl who doesn't really cook a "dealbreaker" for you in a girlfriend?

I am asking this in all seriousness.

[cutegirl]

I'm a woman and don't cook at all. I'm the breadwinner and earn all the money and pay all the bills. I'm not traditional and I don't like to do housewifey things.

 

I don't care if that's what a guy is looking for, if that's what a guy wants I wouldn't want him anyways.

 

I would never compromise who I am just because it's a dealbreaker for a man.

That's their loss.

[2ndIINone]

I've had over 14 years of 'serious' relationships and had dinner cooked for me ... maybe 4 times in those years. So, it's not that important to me. I wouldn't expect it either. I can fend for myself. In fact, I'd prefer to either cook myself.. for 'her' OR take-out!

However now since my friend said that, should I be working on my culinary skills and repertoire of meals I can cook?

Learning wouldn't/couldn't hurt anyone. I believe it's always a good thing to know.... a good quality. A necessary quality? No... not at all. More like a bonus. One can't eat out EVERYNIGHT! As much as I try.

[alphamale]

Is a girl who doesn't really cook a "dealbreaker" for you in a girlfriend?

pretty much...yes. I'm a damn good cook myself and if she can't match my skills then I'll be disappointed.

[johan]

I don't understand not being able to cook or not interested in it. I don't expect a woman to cook every meal, any more than she should expect me to. But I do expect her to be interested and to enjoy it. Cooking is fun. I'd want to share that with someone. And we could sometimes make things for each other.

[Lauriebell82]

I'm a woman, my cooking skills aren't very extensive. My bf LOVES LOVES LOVES when I do anything resembling cooking for him. He can cook for himself, but I think he likes to be taken care of by a woman as well.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that every guy is different. Some are more traditional than others. Usually you can tell when you meet the bf's mother and see there interaction. When I first met my bf's mother I saw how she cooked for him and he LOVED it. I'm a traditional girl so I love doing the little domestic things for my bf. I guess it all depends on the gfs/bfs view of the roles in a relationship.

 

to footnote: I have never had a bf who wanted me to cook for him before..its kind of a new thing for me but I love it. In no way does my bf "expect" me to cook for him, but he says he does enjoy it. I guess it depends on how you like to make your bf happy.

[elias2k2]

A huge percentage of guys expect that a women cooks for them does the laundry for them and cleans the house for them. And most guys are basically looking for their moms in a women.

 

I'm a guy and I don't like to give the women soo much work. Laundy I would never have my girl do it because it is too much work on a girlfriend, but i'm not a regular guy. Regular guys are always drinking and watching the game. I don't even watch football.

 

In conclusion I think that if your guy expects all these things from you I don't see that relationship working, but only because there are unconsious expectations by him that will lead him to want more of what you can give.

 

You both probably work 8 hours a day so that leaves 8 hours for sleeping and another to take care of things, he will probably stay playing playstation and making a mess in these 8 hours.

 

While you have to cook and clean for him.

[2sunny]

i am a damn good cook... even studied a bit in france.

 

i do miss the fact that my xH inspired me to cook and enjoy our great dinner parties with friends over the years.

 

it's not that hard really... just follow some good instruction.

 

i even cook great things for myself, set the table and light a candle even i will be alone... weird - i know. feels nice for me. i enjoy the meal and effort more that way.

 

i don't think my kids wives will like me very well though for spoiling them with good food.

[alphamale]

A huge percentage of guys expect that a women cooks for them does the laundry for them and cleans the house for them.

So? Historically women have expected men to do most of the providing.

 

And most guys are basically looking for their moms in a women..

So? most girls are looking for their father in a man

[Teddy and Jane]

I don't understand not being able to cook or not interested in it. I don't expect a woman to cook every meal, any more than she should expect me to. But I do expect her to be interested and to enjoy it. Cooking is fun. I'd want to share that with someone. And we could sometimes make things for each other.

 

It's not that I don't enjoy cooking, I just don't do it for myself. Plus, what I do make for myself alone keeps me slim! I am open to cooking for a guy, it's just that I don't really do a lot of complicated dishes. I could follow a cookbook, I suppose though. I'm sure a guy I was seeing would rather I not cook than gain weight!

[Teacher's Pet]

I'm a damned good cook.

 

And frankly, it's a turn-on to cook for a woman, and then watch her eyes light up as she takes the product of your love into her mouth...

 

And I'm still talking about the food, folks.

 

-tp

chew your food well....and don't forget to swallow

[Storyrider]

Cooking is a nice way of showing love if it is enjoyable. If it is demanded or becomes a burden, I say scrap it and get takeout.

 

It helps when the noncooks are thankful and remember to compliment the cook.

 

I watched my mom cook for us for eighteen years plus, and I don't remember my dad ever saying thank you or complimenting the meal, or encouraging us to do so. He did often critique negatively or make "suggestions" about how things could be cooked better. Needless to say, my mom didn't enjoy cooking very much.

[cutegirl]

How about I say it's a dealbreaker if the man doesn't cook for ME?

 

Why the hell should only I cook?

 

I am not traditional. I don't believe in women's traditional roles.

 

If both parties enjoy cooking, then that's great. They can cook together or TAKE TURNS cooking. I never believed that it was SOLELY or MOSTLY the woman's role to cook.

 

I am an independent woman and make good money. I am not cooking for anyone ALL THE TIME. I expect us to take turns or cook together.

 

btw, I dont expect a man to be the provider. I am my OWN provider.

[trigger]

I'm a female, and I can't really cook at all. I'm sure I'd be good if I tried, but I never really wanted to.

 

As it turns out, most of the men I dated have been fantastic cooks.

 

Works for me; I tend to view myself as culturally genderless and so do the guys I usually date. Ideally.

[Trialbyfire]

I love to cook, even when it's only for myself. If I keep it healthy, it doesn't impact on my weight so there's no concern.

 

Of the men that I've cooked for, they've always been very appreciative of it so it's never been a burden for me, regardless of my career path.

 

I do know that if there ever was a guy I hooked up with who didn't appreciate it, I would simply trade chores with him so he could cook for me to critique. Not a smart move because I like gourmet cooking...

[tashsih]

My guy always thanks me and remarks on my cooking

i only recently started but he works in a kitchen and he says i can keep up. I'm a realllly picky eater but he has really inpired me to try new things now that I think about it

I really love that he appreciates it. Hes really helpful in the kitchen too

but we do like our apce to make our masterpiece haha

[elias2k2]

So? Historically women have expected men to do most of the providing.

 

Answer

Before it was like that, but things have changed and we all have to understand each other and some guys just don't understand that women these days are working and are out there making a living.

 

So? most girls are looking for their father in a man

 

Answer

As a matter of fact I have met a few girls that date older guys and few of them have even said it, I want an older guy, I didn't have much of a father.

 

What I meant when I said that is the there are lots of guys that I know that act like kids, they expect everything from a women without considering the fact that she may be tired from an 8 hour shift at work.

[pelagicsands]

Cooking is lame.

 

Less Ambitious Male Encumbrance. Maybe I'm lame, too.

[IpAncA]

How about I say it's a dealbreaker if the man doesn't cook for ME?

 

Why the hell should only I cook?

 

I am not traditional. I don't believe in women's traditional roles.

 

If both parties enjoy cooking, then that's great. They can cook together or TAKE TURNS cooking. I never believed that it was SOLELY or MOSTLY the woman's role to cook.

 

I am an independent woman and make good money. I am not cooking for anyone ALL THE TIME. I expect us to take turns or cook together.

 

btw, I dont expect a man to be the provider. I am my OWN provider.

 

Dude, chill. Only talking about cooking.

 

Cooking is lame.

Prefer the microwave don't you?

 

Is a girl who doesn't really cook a "dealbreaker" for you in a girlfriend?

 

I know I'm not a guy but I'll speak for my own and it wasn't a dealbreaker.

 

I suck at cooking. I can cook things sure, but if you want meal like mom use to make, well it's not happening. I can do it but I swear you'll give it to the dog or wait for someone else to take a bit first.

[cutegirl]

Dude, chill. Only talking about cooking.

 

 

I wonder why there are no topics like "Women... how important is it that your boyfriend cooks for you?"

 

A question like the thread topic is making the assumption that it is the woman's job to cook, or that women should be cooking more than men, or that a "good wife" should cook, or that a woman should cook for a man...

 

Just the question in it itself... By asking if it is important that a woman cook it's assuming that for whatever reason there could be an expectation that women should cook or that it could be important for a woman to cook, and if so why WOULD it be important? Why can't the man cook for the woman? Why does she have to do it for him?

 

I don't really know how to explain it or put it into words, but by asking that there's some underlying assumption that it's the woman's domain to cook.

 

I just really hate that. I am non-traditional. I do not believe in traditional woman's roles. It just really irritates me.

[ThumbingMyWay]

I am non-traditional. I do not believe in traditional woman's roles. It just really irritates me.

 

 

OH...and I bet your the first one to grab the shovel when it snows 2' in 2 hours.....and the wind is howling....its bitter cold.....but you know you have to get out there and shovel or else you cant get the car out of the driveway in the morning.

 

 

 

In our house....I do most of the cooking....mostly because I like to cook...and I get home first. We both equally share the house cleaning. She does all the laundry and I do all the out side stuff....

 

even shoveling 2' of snow on cold winter night after I just worked 10 hours and made dinner.....I would never even ask or expect my wife to go out and do the shoveling.....if that makes me an old fashion traditional guy....then I guess I would irritate you.....with my chivalry

[Zona76]

I'm a woman and don't cook at all. I'm the breadwinner and earn all the money and pay all the bills. I'm not traditional and I don't like to do housewifey things. quote]

Same here with me. I would cook to eat but never enjoyed it. I never enjoyed cooking.

My adorable husband loves to cook. He's great at it. Was a chef in one of his many former jobs and I have gained the weight to prove how great he is at his talent.

His former family never appreciated his efforts. Other than fetching a bowl of cereal for myself on and off day(he doesn't eat breakfast) He's the King in the Kitchen.

I do Laundry and moderate cleaning but his main job is home repairs and cooking.

[Dante]

Is a girl who doesn't really cook a "dealbreaker" for you in a girlfriend? I am asking this in all seriousness.

 

Can't say it is. I can cook, that goes a long way but as long as I won't end up as the one who always cooks, cleans and so forth... it's not a big deal.

[Art_Critic]

Is a girl who doesn't really cook a "dealbreaker" for you in a girlfriend?

 

I have found most women are like you Teddy.. They can cook a couple of good meals and that's it..

It isn't a deal breaker for me.. either I'll cook or we go out.. no biggie..

 

But... the GF I have now cooks on occasion and it feels great and special to be at home and have her prepping and working to put together a dish for me..certainly not required though..

[a4a]

Well I am an awesome cook but I will not cook the bland daily meals.

 

I don't want to whip up "casserole".

 

I will make meals that actually take a great amount of prep time but refuse to cook a quick trailer park meal. If I am going to cook, I am going to really cook.

 

Only pasta should come out of a box.

 

So I would not date or marry a guy who cannot cook for both of us because he will starve otherwise.