Men...how important is it that your girlfriend cooks for you?

[nicki]

I like your flexible attitude, Art Critic!

 

I love cooking together with a guy, making it time spent together. I'm a good cook and I'll make a meal once in a while to show a guy I love him. Just like he will wash my car (sorry for the stereotypical gender roles here.)

 

BUT, it's important when starting to first date a guy that you don't cook right off the bat for him all of the time. Most guys come to expect it from that moment on....so, I usually set it up at the beginning that we cook together.

 

Then, when he gets a cold and I make him chicken soup, it's a big deal and means a lot to him. Or when his buddies come over, I'll make them a big pot of chili. It's more special that way.

 

When I was married, I was a stay home mom. I did the cleaning, cooked every night and did the laundry. My husband did all the outside stuff and automobile care. It was a division of labor, and fair.

 

If we both had worked 8 hours, then cooking would have been shared. Or outsourced.

[Topper]

I'm a very good cook. Most of the woman I have known don't seem to think cooking is a life skill worth learning.

I have a few rather good recipes that I take a lot of pride in making. Some of my most memorable and erotic dates have been when we prepare a meal together. share a nice bottle of wine and enjoy each others company while picnicing by the fireplace.

[nicki]

Yes, Topper, cooking together can be like foreplay....

 

"mmm, here taste the sauce." *holds spoon up to his mouth*

 

or,

 

"oops, sorry I bumped into you. What? No, I'm not wearing a bra. Pass me the bowl, please."

 

and,

 

"Sure is hot in here. Take off your pants. You'll be more comfortable moving around. Wow, you've got a great a$$. And you did a great job making the (whatever.)"

 

Then you get to share the meal together, drink some wine, laugh together....until the clothes come flying off!

[Guest]

Well, I'm not a guy, but I would feel awkward if my husband had to cook. He does things like plow snow, chop wood etc. I do almost all the cooking. We share cleaning and other domestic things. We both work full time. I am 28, he's 31. I do know that while he doesn't feel it was a requirement of a wife to cook, it makes him happy and he likes that I do the cooking. I'm quite happy he chops wood and plows snow...I don't really want to be the one doing those things.

My suggestion - if it's a guy you plan on marrying, do cook for him, of course he wouldn't feel you *had* to cook, but I think in general a guy would be happy you did.

 

 

I have a guy friend who is also single and said it's important to him to find a woman who really knows how to cook well. (I'm not interested, he's a friend.)

That made me think, in past relationships, I never did a lot of "cooking" for my beaus. I do make a great beef stew and make that in the fall/winter months sometimes. However since I am single, I tend not to really "cook" a lot for myself. I will use my George Foreman grill to "cook" a chicken breast and have a salad or vegetable with that. Or I will get a healthy choice through the drive through, or make a veggie pizza and it lasts a couple days for dinner. Lean Cuisine is also my friend. I'm just not really a "cook" and I realize that when I did have a guy over for dinner, it was never more elaborate than spaghetti with jarred sauce (although I did saute the sausage or meatballs) or my "famous" beef stew, or takeout from a favorite restaurant. I'm just not a gourmet and to keep my slim figure, the system I have going for myself just works for me. My last bf, we grilled a lot and he tended to be the "grillmaster" while I made the salad and side dishes (baked potatoe, something like that...but that's not really cooking, is it?)

However now since my friend said that, should I be working on my culinary skills and repertoire of meals I can cook?

Is a girl who doesn't really cook a "dealbreaker" for you in a girlfriend?

I am asking this in all seriousness.

[Art_Critic]

Sure is hot in here. Take off your pants. You'll be more comfortable moving around. Wow, you've got a great a$$. And you did a great job making the (whatever.)

 

.....Sauce

[whichwayisup]

I'm not sexest at all, but I do still have some traditional ways of thinking at times - But I ENJOY making dinner to for my H. Whether it be I BBQ, use the oven or just order in, I always take care of him that way so when he comes home from work, he has something to eat. It's just a nice thing! He isn't the best cook, but he can whip something up for dinner and sometimes he does.

 

He gets up and is the one who goes and gets the coffee in the morning as he can't make coffee, it takes like crap, so he goes out and buys it.

 

Nothing is set in stone, but somehow the pattern was just set. If it upset me that I do most of the cooking I could easily tell him and we'd come to some sort of agreement.

[whichwayisup]

OH...and I bet your the first one to grab the shovel when it snows 2' in 2 hours.....and the wind is howling....its bitter cold.....but you know you have to get out there and shovel or else you cant get the car out of the driveway in the morning.

 

Actually I am. I DO most of the snow shovelling! The only two things I really HATE doing is raking leaves (I will if I have to though) and cutting the grass. I have a fear of putting the lawn mower too close to my feet and cutting off a toe or two!

[EC]

I don't cook. I 'can' cook but I dont like to.

 

My BF LOOOVES to cook so we have a deal. He cooks, I clean the dishes and give him a BJ.

 

Its been working out great

[Art_Critic]

He cooks, I clean the dishes and give him a BJ.

 

Cooking = BJ ... Hummmm I think I might take up cooking

 

Honey.. Will you taste the sauce for me

[whichwayisup]

He cooks, I clean the dishes and give him a BJ.

 

LOL! I bet he's a happy cock/cook! lmao!

[EC]

Cooking = BJ ... Hummmm I think I might take up cooking

 

Honey.. Will you taste the sauce for me

 

:lmao: We have a lot of fun cooking lmao

[My Fair Katie]

I'm a pretty good cook. I love food and I love to try new things. I make breakfast (granted it's just oatmeal), lunch, and dinner for my husband. And occassionally desert.

 

I hate it. I hate cooking for my husband. I hate that he complains over what I choose to make. I hate when he asks me to "change" ingredients his royal highness doesn't like. I cringed when last night he said, "I lucked out to marry a woman that knows how to cook."

 

He refuses to cook anything except for marinara sauce which he'll do about once a month and have me freeze. If I'm sick he tells me to order a pizza. If I ask him to order it for me because I don't want to change out of my jammies to get the door when it's delivered he sighs and makes a big deal out of it. Otherwise, if I'm not feeling well and ask him to cook he'll make me stand in the kitchen with him and tell him step-by-step what to do. All my recipes are written down, it's NOT hard. If I tell him to follow the recipe he pouts and makes my life miserable all evening.

 

I swear my next husband will be an orphaned chef.

[Aloros]

I cook. I think it's an important life skill to have, especially since it's fun, it saves money, and you can control how healthy your meals are. It wouldn't necessarily be a dealbreaker for me if my guy couldn't cook, but he damn well better want to learn how!

 

My bf cooks, and it's very nice. We take turns making one another dinner, or sometimes we'll decide to try something complicated, which we take on together. It's fun! I have fond memories of the afternoon we tackled sushi and tempura and topped it off with some sake.

 

People who don't know how to cook strike me as being a little more helpless. I like an independent man, and I'll admit, I also sometimes enjoy coming home to have dinner ready and on the table.

[IpAncA]

I wonder why there are no topics like "Women... how important is it that your boyfriend cooks for you?"

 

A question like the thread topic is making the assumption that it is the woman's job to cook, or that women should be cooking more than men, or that a "good wife" should cook, or that a woman should cook for a man...

 

Just the question in it itself... By asking if it is important that a woman cook it's assuming that for whatever reason there could be an expectation that women should cook or that it could be important for a woman to cook, and if so why WOULD it be important? Why can't the man cook for the woman? Why does she have to do it for him?

 

I don't really know how to explain it or put it into words, but by asking that there's some underlying assumption that it's the woman's domain to cook.

 

I just really hate that. I am non-traditional. I do not believe in traditional woman's roles. It just really irritates me.

 

After all the moaning and growning about it, I'm shocked YOU haven't started one. Why haven't you asked the question?

 

And even if one did, you could argue the same thing as it implies that men should cook for a women.

 

You can't take a thread topic question and infer to what you think it means and assume. There are many "do men" or "do women" topics on here.

[Trialbyfire]

*shrugs*

 

I'm not certain if it's a traditionalist scenario or not. We all have to eat sometime in life so you can either see it as a task or see it as a hobby. I enjoy well prepared meals and like to cook, so it's one of my hobbies.

 

That is all...

[bab]

Both H and I cook. Usually we do it together, which makes the meal come out faster and it's good quality time, although I rarely "taste the sauce" while we're cooking.

 

Lately he's been really busy so I've been doing the lion share of the cooking, but after this week he'll be back in there with me.

 

On the occasion that neither of us is swamped with things to do in the evening (it happens occasionally) and only one of us cooks, the other person cleans the kitchen after dinner. I would MUCH rather cook than clean. Sometimes neither of us feels like cooking. In this case we make pasta or go out. And when I say make pasta, we just use the prebottled sauce. We don't even warm it up, we rely on the hot pasta to warm up the sauce, so it's incredibly easy.

 

Some of our best conversations have come from making dinner together. It's quality time. Although if/when we have kids I imagine it will be impractical for us to cook together. I imagine that we'll just use the if you cook I clean division of labor.

 

As a side note on other division of labor, he shovels the snow and does all automobile work, and generally takes out the trash.

 

I do all the laundry. As far as yardwork, I clean up all the dog poo and then H mows. I try to get my MIL to work in the garden but she only comes down every 3 months, so it's getting pretty terrible, especially since the dog has taken over her duties. I should add the garden to H's duties.

[bab]

Also, Teddy and Jane,

You said that one of the reasons you didn't cook is that you are trying to stay thin. I totally understand that, but when your bf is going to help you eat it, then cooking can still be low cal. (I have a problem with cooking for myself because then portion control goes out the window) If you want to cook for bf and still keep the dishes light, I'd suggest Cooking Light and/or Eating Well magazine. They've got some great recipes and they list the nutrition/serving size on each one, so you know what you are getting. I'm just now learning that healthy low-cal foods can actually taste good. (I sound like a commercial!)

[alphamale]

the way into a man's heart is thru his tummy...

[Teddy and Jane]

I wonder why there are no topics like "Women... how important is it that your boyfriend cooks for you?"

 

A question like the thread topic is making the assumption that it is the woman's job to cook, or that women should be cooking more than men, or that a "good wife" should cook, or that a woman should cook for a man...

 

Just the question in it itself... By asking if it is important that a woman cook it's assuming that for whatever reason there could be an expectation that women should cook or that it could be important for a woman to cook, and if so why WOULD it be important? Why can't the man cook for the woman? Why does she have to do it for him?

 

I don't really know how to explain it or put it into words, but by asking that there's some underlying assumption that it's the woman's domain to cook.

 

I just really hate that. I am non-traditional. I do not believe in traditional woman's roles. It just really irritates me.

I wasn't thinking about it on that deep of a level, just wondering how much men really take it as a positive if a girlfriend cooks for them. I am thinking of practicing my skills to "wow" a man when I start dating someone regularly again.

[pelagicsands]

I am thinking of practicing my skills to "wow" a man when I start dating someone regularly again.

Good luck. Practicing your skills, I mean. But I'm usually more impressed when someone puts something of mine in their mouth, rather than putting something of theirs in my mouth.

[Teacher's Pet]

:lmao: We have a lot of fun cooking lmao

 

Guess we know who gets to lick the spoon.

 

-tp

i got yer batter right here

[rainfall]

I've never once cooked for my boyfriend. I feel he is a grown man and he is able to cook for himself if he really wants a home cooked meal. I work to pay my half of the bills and I am also going to school so the last thing I really want to do when I get home is more work.

 

If he ever told me I had to cook for him that would probably be a deal breaker for me.

[Hitman10000]

I love girls that know how to cook but the most important thing I care most about is the effort or process as she tries to cook if she doesn't know how to cook. If I ask a girl that I'm dating, Yo let's cook something but you come up with the recipes and I'll get the ingredients on a limited budget. If she has a hard time or seems reluctance, she ain't wife material. Remember little princesses, It's about the effort/process.

 

To the woman that proudly states "i'm a breadwinner" or other women who say "cooking shall not define me" , that is pathetic. Cooking is a skill for both men and women. From where I come from: It is fun when you have two people cook or attempt to do it together. Listen honey baby, I work 50-60 hours a week and yet I still am willing to make time for my girl and I do cook believe it or not for myself. I dated a girl that was accusing me of making her a slave (I suggested that she make a delicious sandwich for the both of us to go out for a picnic and I'll take care of the rest.) Low and behold the dating ended for me and her soon after.

 

The thing I learned most about relationships (whether platonic, business, or romantic) is that you either "compete" or "cooperate." You want to associate yourself with those that cooperate.

[Woggle]

I am not one of those men who expects dinner on the table every night because my wife works just as hard as I do so most nights we get takeout ir eat out but it would bug the hell out of me if she were one of these women who view any kind gesture as a sign of being a stepford wife. She cooks once a week usually and I cook once a week so it is equal. We both go out of our way to make each other feel appreciated and even when we don;t cook we take turns treating each other when we eat out.

[Mary3]

pretty much...yes. I'm a damn good cook myself and if she can't match my skills then I'll be disappointed.

 

How about how she * cooks * during Playtime ?