Are women more jealous than guys?

[FormerNiceGuy]

I'm pretty new here obviously.

 

But I am absolutely shocked at all these threads about jealousy from women. These constant complaints, etc...

 

 

 

What's the big deal?

 

You don't really see guys doing this. Is this a woman thing?

 

The way I look at jealousy is in two ways.

 

1. Jealousy #1. If I'm jealous about something that somebody has or because of somebody I want to be..

 

My solution==>

 

Become who you envy...or accept who you are. Stop bytching and complaining about the fact that somebody has something that you don't..and BECOME who you envy. Bytching and complaining doesn't do anything. Are you going to be the person who complains that you don't have something...or ARE YOU going to be the person who takes action.

 

2. Jealousy #2==> When you're jealous about a lover..etc.

 

My solution==> Confront them about it and tell them how you feel. And if they STILL do things that make YOU jealous....accept 2 things.

 

#1. Drop him or her and/or

#2. Know that you can't change the situation by stressing over it.

 

So enough with these complaints. Being jealous won't make you happier or make you live longer. It is sickening that about 80% of the posts on here are about jealousy.

 

My point I want to make across is this.

 

People HERE can't help YOU with YOUR jealousy.

 

That JEALOUSY is YOUR problem.

 

And NO typed word will help YOU.

 

Because this jealousy cannot be fixed from OTHERS but from YOU.

 

Fix your OWN insecurity and accept things as they are.

 

No more of this jealousy bullshyt. Life is too short for this, ladies and gentlemen.

[Sheba]

If your theory is correct, your advice is of no use whatsoever!

[Trialbyfire]

Is it that so many women are jealous or is it that so many men can't or won't say no when temptation crosses their paths?

 

I was once someone who trusted all her relationship partners without any concern. It never occurred to me that any of these guys would do anything as deceitful as cheating. Guess what? I was wrong.

 

It won't happen again and if it does, the next guy is a dead man...

[ash519]

I would say 80% of these threads are about jealousy because this particular area is cheating, flirting and jealousy. The other threads arent all about it.

 

And I disagree, I think people on here can help because it is nice to vent and get opinions and see things from a different light.

[ash519]

Oh yeah, men can be just as jealous as women. Just because we decide to talk about it doesnt mean it doesnt exist from men.

[poorlittlefish]

In my experience women are more jealous than men but they often have good reason to be (or at least think they have).

 

Some men openly ogle other women - or worse, make comments about their looks/body - in front of their wife/girlfriend. At best this is disrespectful. On the whole I don't think women do this.

 

Women are often dressed in very little, giving the guys plenty to look at and their partners plenty to feel insecure about, especially if their boyfriend/husband doesn't give them much in the way of compliments.

 

Yes, a lot of jealous comes down to insecurity but it often isn't helped by a lack of respect or sensitivity from the partner.

[Carbine]

 

The way I look at jealousy is in two ways.

 

1. Jealousy #1. If I'm jealous about something that somebody has or because of somebody I want to be..

 

My solution==>

 

Become who you envy...or accept who you are. Stop bytching and complaining about the fact that somebody has something that you don't..and BECOME who you envy. Bytching and complaining doesn't do anything. Are you going to be the person who complains that you don't have something...or ARE YOU going to be the person who takes action

 

I think you've articulated the male POV extremely well. From what I understand, men think in terms of the two above options and these choices are able to be carried out by them. The middle ground just doesnt seem to cross their minds.

 

I think women dwell more in the grey area which is a fertile breeding ground for jealousy and bitching. I don't really know why it's like this. I asked my ex once how he felt when he saw a guy with a ripped, muscled physique. He said he didn't get jealous, it just made him work harder at the gym. Perhaps men value physical traits that are more easily obtainable. For example, it's easier to build up your muscles than it is to say, grow longer legs, a smaller waist, or bigger boobs!

 

I saw this scene in a movie called 'Bachelor Party" that really hit home for some reason. Tom hanks and his mates were backstage at a male stripping place and for some reason i forget, the manager of the place brings over a stripper who shows them his enormous dick. The guys all clap and laugh in awe as if to say "Good for you! That's so cool!". But if it were a different situation and it was a group of female friends who were shown some female stripper's great body, I doubt you'd get the same reaction.

[LakesideDream]

I think jealousy has changed in the last three decades or so. When we were young (high school, and before) males the more jealous sex. With fewer serious committments and a wider field to play, men guarded the women they wanted more tightly.

 

As we all get older, the dynamic seems change. The last few decades have brought with them a new sense of entitlement to women. Men went from "decision makers" to "decision facilitators".

 

In relationships in general women have become dominant. Women decide when a relationship begins, when it is serious, when it's sexual, when and if children are brought into the situation, and usually when a relationship ends. This change is not only societal it has also been codified in law. Divorce has no stigma. Marriage is no longer a lifelong contract. Young women are expected to "play the field" just as young men are. Sex has lost it's bonding ability due to modern medicine. Committment is not necessary, a woman is no longer risking having a child from sex without committment (note- The law also allows women the only choices if an unwanted pregancy occurs. Women choose whether a child is to be born. Whatever the circumstance men are financially responsible for offspring, regardless of the situation.

 

Before marriage, many jealous women feel the right to "act out" because the one facet of beginning relationships is that remains in a males control is the right to choose a woman to pursue. Of course woman have an equal right to pursue the man of their choice as well... but there is equality in the process something most young women today have not experianced up to that point previously which causes them much confusion.

 

Of course this is not true in every case... and equally possible, I may be completely wrong. I the opinion above from personal experiance, which isn't very scientific.