Not sure what to think, or if we'll get back together

[blkdots]

Alright heres the deal, I dated this guy,Scott, for a year and a half. We went to high school together and worked together which is how we met. The middle of my senior year Scott came home on boot leave, he joined the marines, and we hit it off great. We talked for a few months before we decided to actually make it official. *note, he said i love you before we started dating and made the comment that i was what he wanted*. So about 8months into our relationship he was sent to Iraq. Right before he left for Iraq he started doubting our relationship, wondering if he wanted to stay together and was scared of what would happen if we did. the day I moved for college he told me he was willing to take that chance. he wanted to be together and go through this together. Once he got back from Iraq I went to North Carolina to see him and to be with him for a while. Everything had been fine while I was there. About a month after he had been back i told him I hung out with a guy (back in Feb)and had a small crush on him but it was nothing because It was still him and he was the one i loved ( i told him because the other guy was pushing me to leave Scott). The night i told scott he dumped me, then later decided he couldnt be without me. the next day he acted like nothing happened. Monday came along and he said he thought about it and couldnt do it anymore, he didnt want me, and he didnt love me like he had. He said all his feelings changed once i told him what i did. he said he thought by saying he loved me, he might get those feelings back. So here i was, or am, madly in love with this guy, Gave up everything to be with him, thought i was doing the right thing by being honest. he was the one that talked about marriage and wanted to get married, he gave me a ring to make up for not always being here, and he was the one who wanted me to move out to NC to be with him. And now he just wants to be friends.

 

What makes this breakup harder is the fact that I had been there for him through everything, I was there when he told me about him going to see a stripper (i have nothing against strippers) every weekend for two months (and flirted with her and talked to her every night), and spent money on her. I was there when he always wanted to take a break, and I was there when he got back from Iraq. I have always been faithful to this guy, I never gave him any reason to doubt me or to not trust me. he knew how much he ment to me, He knew this because I gave up Baker University, KU (twice), and my friends and family back home to move to North Carolina because we talked about marriage in the future and we wanted to be closer and was tired of not being together all the time.

 

Now he acts like nothing happened, like were best friends (which he says im his best friend and our friendship means more than anything). And now im wondering if he needs time to figure out what he wants, or if he's actually made up his mind. If he wanted to get back together i would. but Im just so lost as to if me being honest was the wrong thing, and what not. any suggestions would be appreciated.

[Guest]

I think Scott is being very judgemental with you, based on his past of going to see a stripper and so on. I understand you are in love with him and I know how hard it can be to back off. However, staying his "best friend" is not in your best interest. I have found that people who have been to Iraq and embroiled in the war, have a lot of confusion in their lives and rightfully so... I think I would tell him there will be no "best friends" because it will hurt you too much... if he decides he wants to resume your relationship, he can let you know and if you are still available, perhaps you will be interested. Don't let this guy play games with you.