amy5180 Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 I'm new to this forum and I would like to say that I'm 22 years old and I have yet to make a real "best" friend. I can find friends but they only last for so long. I have a hard time keeping the friends I find. I'm a shy person and I really struggle chit chatting with others. I have found out that the key to any relationship be it friend or more is to be able to communicate with each other and I just struggle doing that. There are times that are better then others when I seem to be doing it well. I just wish I could find people to talk to who understood what I am going through. It's hard to tell my friends my real problems because I don't want to scare them away. If there is anyone in here that is going through the same thing as me let me know and I would love to chat with you. ~Amy Link to post Share on other sites
lostone Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Gees... You sound like me. I have a handful of best friends and the others are just that, "others." I don't mind it, because of the lack of drama that I have to put up with. I was royally screwed by most of my "so-called" friends a long time ago and am somewhat leery of people due to that. A lot of the time "peoples true identies or their true self" comes out and even God would have difficulties dealing with them is what I have learned... I'm not afraid of telling anyone anything. If they have a problem with it then it is truely "their" problem. I would rather listen than speak; that's the way I've always been. Just be yourself and let it flow naturally Try taking a public speaking class??? Link to post Share on other sites
amy5180 Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Thanks for your advice I did try to take a public speaking class and through the whole thing I was shaking every time I had to give a presentation. It just because I have had soo much problems with my peers and them mistreating me that I get scared saying things because I feel that whatever I say is wrong or taken the wrong way. It hurts especially when the people I feel comfortable with don't want to be with me or feel uncomfortable with me. I tried my hardest to make the best relationship possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 I can see how a shy person would have trouble making friends, but once she has them I don't see why she would lose them. You say it might be due to your 'communication'. - is it that you never ask about what's going on in their life - is it that you have a wall built up - is it that you don't make the effort to make plans - is it that you don't have anything to talk about - is it that you get into fights due to poor communication Can you be more specific why these friendships ended? That might help me understand it a bit more and than maybe I can be more help. Link to post Share on other sites
amy5180 Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Basically they get bored with me and I'm not an exciting person because I don't have anything good to talk about. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 In order to have interesting conversations sometimes you need to have some information to start it and keep it going. Maybe you need to start expanding your horizons. Is there a course you'd really like to take? Is there a hobby you want to learn? A book you should read? A TV show you enjoy? I think you get the point - basically start making yourself more interesting. Not by changing yourself but by adding more elements to your personality. Start focusing on developing you - it should help conversations flow because you'll have more to talk about. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
0Keebler0 Posted March 7, 2003 Share Posted March 7, 2003 I can EASILY relate. but what makes it confusing for me is they always seem like they enjoy the conversations. Link to post Share on other sites
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