Guest Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and believe me,the first 6 months were hell.I had to deal with the likes of him contacting other women on his mobile (yes another Warnie) and lots of talk from his sister telling me he didnt want to be with me and was looking for a way out. For me to tell you all would take too long but lets just say in the end I cheated on him.I broke up with him and slept with his best friend and yes I felt bad about it and still do but at that time my boyfriend had been conversing with two other women that I knew about. After this happened I got back with him a week later and things have been going great between us.He has been treating me for the last couple of months like a Princess and I have felt his whole attitude and everything had c changed towards me until last night. The last couple of days he has jokingly said things to me like for instance when I told him two nights ago that I loved him very much and that we were meant for each other he turns around and tells me that he was put on this earth for many women and laughed about it.Then the last few days its been hard to get in contact with him at work and he tells me once again jokingly "oh Ive been going to see all my other women".Now I don't believe there is anyone else but after all I have been through I find this really insensitive of him to be even making jokes of this as in the past it has been an isssue. I got upset with him after seving him up his dinner and got all emotional and so what does he do?tells me "whatever".Not,im sorry for being insenstive darling,I love you and your the only one that I want but instead he gets on the defence and so I then took the dogs for a walk and when I got him he asks me roughly if I still was angry.Then accuses me of checking his phone all the time to see if I have been cal.ling anyone.Mind you,he only got a new phone this week as his other one was stolen around a month ago which has been the best thing that happened to us!.Why now does he get so defensive if he is not hiding anything?For the first time ever he actually called me a B**** last night.Why now?why have things been so good between us and now the minute he gets a new phone he changes from being Mr nice to not seeming to care about my feelings. I went to bed,he didnt come in till late and still no hug,nothing from him and this morning I got up to get a drink and all he can say to me is that I need to stop checking his phone and mistrusting him.I know that the last couple of months or so I havent been saying anything to him and infact like I said things have been great so what gives?.I am clearly upset by this time,he then accuses me of being on drugs as I was on anti depressents for some time but no longer take them and have never looked back.By this time I am in tears as he just doesnt seem to care about how I feel.I told him its going to take time and he thinks I should not be dwelling on the past which I dont but its going to take time and by him going off at me rather then reassure me of his love and devotion is not what I feel is the right thing for him to be doing.He hurt me in the past,he has to make up for that not go off when I start to feel insecure. Am I being a fool for thinking he had changed? Link to post Share on other sites
Not_That_Innocent Posted May 5, 2007 Share Posted May 5, 2007 He probably has a new squeeze, perhaps several of them and all of a sudden he's not looking at you as his "princess" anymore. His behavior and poor treatment of you is probably because there is someone new in the picture and you are in the way and he's irritated by you. Just my two cents. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 Yeah, it's really insensitive of him to talk about cheating. Especially when you consider that YOU slept with HIS best friend. The nerve of that man! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 Yes, you're a fool for thinking he had changed. No one changes in two weeks. Not for real. You two are a disaster together, and separately. Niether of you should be dating until you learn more about respecting other people - and your selves. Why did you stay with him when things were hell the first 6 months? The point of dating is to evaluate what kind of person you're with and what kind of relationship you have. You two have a crap relationship and both of you need to learn to treat your dates better. You should never have stayed with him, so get out now before you damage your self-esteem even further. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 It is time for you to cut your losses and get out of this messy relationship. Unfortunately I learnt the hard way that sometimes there is just to much relationship baggage to cope with. You can't say you didn't try but it just sounds like you are both not in the right head space for a serious relationship. It sounds as though you have some personal issues you have to deal with also. Just remember you can't expect anyone else to love you until you love yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Teddy and Jane Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 Yeah, it's really insensitive of him to talk about cheating. Especially when you consider that YOU slept with HIS best friend. The nerve of that man! Technically it wasn't cheating as they were broken up temporarily. In addition, he was treating her like dirt so it's not all cut and dry. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 If a man, in my opinion, talks so much of the "other women", joking or not, I would think, he must not want this to be monogamous. Perhaps this gives you the right to act "single" also. But his best friend, that wasn't a good choice on your part. Were you trying to make your boyfriend jealous by doing this? You both sleep with other people, how can you be meant for each other. He treated you like a princess while you were the only girl giving him enough attention at that time. How mad did he seem about you bonking his buddy? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 It's trivial...he was over your cheating not only fast, but went into Mr. Nice Guy overload. Then sees other women (so he says)...he got over your cheating cuz he was cheating too. He liked it that way. So for you to get mad about the "other women" didn't make sense to him. You hooked up with his best friend, so you basically handed him the persmision to have his cake and eat it too on a silver platter. You didn't mean to, but he might have seen it that way. My roommate is a guy, and is always talking about dating as many women as he wants yet labels women as liars and cheaters. Perhaps your BF was hurt badly by someone before. Has he ever had a long-term relationship? If not, no sign of him being ready anytime soon. If so, maybe he was hurt really bad. Either way, he wants to portray himself as quite a ladies guy. He'll hurt people while doing this but he doesnt care. Or he may simply be emotionally abusive (if there is such thing?) . Bottom line: it's more like you meant to be without each other. It sounds like his behavior just pains you. Come to terms with being unhappy and just be happy with yourself for a while.Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 Enema hit the nail on the head. And I also wondered why you'd stay with a guy who made you miserable the first 6 months. I also agree that neither one of you are mature enough to be in an exclusive relationship. It's only going to get worse if you stay together. You two are absolutely NOT meant to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 The real question is why did I bother reading this? Link to post Share on other sites
Teddy and Jane Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 The real question is why did I bother reading this? It's not really nice to bash the validity of someone's post, however. The original poster is obviously hurting. People post when they are in a relationship dilemma and the answer may be obvious to you (she put up with his crap for 6 months which lead her to cheat, when she should have dumped him before that). There's no reason to post your negative view of the worthlessness of the post. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 SOme men are sensative, and then they screw u Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 SOme men are sensative, and then they screw u And some men are insensitive and won't screw you. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 yes my point comes full circle Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 yes my point comes full circle Wow, I've never met a man who could do that! Link to post Share on other sites
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