Need a mans point of view,, please

[laura]

What could a man be thinking if....

 

He refuses to take a girlfriend home to have Christmas with his family?? Family being...Mum & Stepdad, Married older sister & their children.

 

His "family" knows of the girlfriend. I have never met or spoken to them. The relationship is almost two years old, and we have been living together for the past nine months.

 

We are not talking about kids here either!! This guy just turned 40.

 

I see this as a 10 foot high red flag that says you are good enough to live with, but I have no desire to ever make you a wife or member of "my" family.

 

I have been quietly making plans to move out when he is gone for his 10 day Christmas holiday.

 

It's not like I can just pop over to a friends home for the holidays or see my own family. They are all in America, he's off to England. (Where of course, my family comes from originally too, but I have never been!! This will be his third trip over in the past nine months!!) And here he thinks I should sit in SWITZERLAND, be happy and celebrate when he comes back. Not to mention the fact that we have only been in Switzerland, German speaking for 5 months and no, I don't speak the language.

 

I think it is dying or dead and he's too afraid to end it. He says no.

 

Opinions???

 

By the way, he met my entire family six weeks in to this relationship and has formed wonderful friendships with my sisters, their husbands and my Mum.

 

Thanks for any viewpoints.

[aleshm]

How old are you Laura?

 

It looks weird to me, I must admit. The way you are reacting would be the same way I would have reacted if I were in your shoes.

 

If you're like alot younger then him? Lets say 22-28 (even tho that should not have be a problem)?

 

Otherwise, I as a male person here, have no idea why I wouldn't want my family to meet my gf. Actually opposite.

 

Tho I admit i'm very strict, lets say I drawn a line, because of what I've seen what my family did with my brothers life (too much interferens from my mother, ending in divorce of my brother), I'm not letting them to close, but at the moment my girlfriend is aware of that and I have nothing to worry about.

 

Perhaps something like that is in his mind?

 

Best wishes,

 

aleshm

What could a man be thinking if.... He refuses to take a girlfriend home to have Christmas with his family?? Family being...Mum & Stepdad, Married older sister & their children. His "family" knows of the girlfriend. I have never met or spoken to them. The relationship is almost two years old, and we have been living together for the past nine months. We are not talking about kids here either!! This guy just turned 40. I see this as a 10 foot high red flag that says you are good enough to live with, but I have no desire to ever make you a wife or member of "my" family. I have been quietly making plans to move out when he is gone for his 10 day Christmas holiday.

 

It's not like I can just pop over to a friends home for the holidays or see my own family. They are all in America, he's off to England. (Where of course, my family comes from originally too, but I have never been!! This will be his third trip over in the past nine months!!) And here he thinks I should sit in SWITZERLAND, be happy and celebrate when he comes back. Not to mention the fact that we have only been in Switzerland, German speaking for 5 months and no, I don't speak the language. I think it is dying or dead and he's too afraid to end it. He says no. Opinions??? By the way, he met my entire family six weeks in to this relationship and has formed wonderful friendships with my sisters, their husbands and my Mum. Thanks for any viewpoints.

[Isabele]

I'm not a man but I'll tell you this much, this is about keeping secrets. There must be something either involving his family that he doesn't want you to know about, or there is something involving you that he doesn't want them to know about.

 

But unless he has violent tendencies OR you just want to have the satisfaction of 'kicking him to the curb' and letting him know that you're fed up, reconsider leaving while he's gone. Most times we feel much better about ourselves, in retrospect, when we handle things head on and with courage, especially us women.

 

I guarantee you that if you empower yourself by remembering that you have spent the last 2 years of your life and precious time in this relationship, you will be able to approach him as a mature adult and ask him for some answers (which you deserve by the way), you'll get an answer. Now it may not be what you want hear, or it may be something about his family which he is reluctant to share. Either way, whatever the reason, you deserve one...

 

Good Luck

What could a man be thinking if.... He refuses to take a girlfriend home to have Christmas with his family?? Family being...Mum & Stepdad, Married older sister & their children. His "family" knows of the girlfriend. I have never met or spoken to them. The relationship is almost two years old, and we have been living together for the past nine months. We are not talking about kids here either!! This guy just turned 40. I see this as a 10 foot high red flag that says you are good enough to live with, but I have no desire to ever make you a wife or member of "my" family. I have been quietly making plans to move out when he is gone for his 10 day Christmas holiday.

 

It's not like I can just pop over to a friends home for the holidays or see my own family. They are all in America, he's off to England. (Where of course, my family comes from originally too, but I have never been!! This will be his third trip over in the past nine months!!) And here he thinks I should sit in SWITZERLAND, be happy and celebrate when he comes back. Not to mention the fact that we have only been in Switzerland, German speaking for 5 months and no, I don't speak the language. I think it is dying or dead and he's too afraid to end it. He says no. Opinions??? By the way, he met my entire family six weeks in to this relationship and has formed wonderful friendships with my sisters, their husbands and my Mum\ Thanks for any viewpoints.