Lishy Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Hey all I had to write this for all you girls who have a FWB who you want more from. If you look at my previous posts you will see That I was in a situation where I had a FWB who I like so much that I wanted more from him. He would make me feel a million dollars when I saw him and then the next day he would go home and would not call me or text me and I wouldnt see him until the next time I called him whilst out and drunk and horny! I obsessed over that guy and would think about him all day - I felt bad about myself but because I liked him so much I would carry on sleeping with him as at least that way I had a 'piece of him' Well .... Last July I got together with a guy who I have known for years and OMG what a difference!!!!! He treats me like a princess, he tells me how beautiful I am, he calls every day, he buys me flowers, tells me how lucky he is and how much he loves me, buys me presents for no reason and makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world! I would NEVER get into another FWB as I know the hurt it causes and the feeling of no self worth and a feeling like it is all I am worth! So any of you girls who are in the same situation I was in GET OUT and get yourself a guy who you truly deserve! Just had to tell you that lol x Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Lishy! Its so good to hear from you once again. I'd ask how you are doing, but you have answered that already. Good post BTW. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishy Posted May 3, 2007 Author Share Posted May 3, 2007 Hey Riddley poo's!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am doing good honey and I was just sitting here thinking about Loveshack and how much time I spent here poring my heart out about how bad I felt, hoping for someone to offer me an insight into his head and making it all alright! The funny thing is that about 3 months after I met my lovely man my ex FWB contacted me saying how much he likes me and that he wasnt ready for anything then but he is now! Wow I wanted that so bad at one point and now I just think 'yeah dream on' Didnt think that would EVER happen! How are you Riddley? What is happening in your life? Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 He treats me like a princess, he tells me how beautiful I am, he calls every day, he buys me flowers, tells me how lucky he is and how much he loves me, buys me presents for no reason and makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world! LISHY....where the heck you been? I am happy for you.....a cutie like you deserves a guy like that.... Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Hey Riddley poo's!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am doing good honey and I was just sitting here thinking about Loveshack and how much time I spent here poring my heart out about how bad I felt, hoping for someone to offer me an insight into his head and making it all alright! The funny thing is that about 3 months after I met my lovely man my ex FWB contacted me saying how much he likes me and that he wasnt ready for anything then but he is now! Wow I wanted that so bad at one point and now I just think 'yeah dream on' Didnt think that would EVER happen! How are you Riddley? What is happening in your life? Now that you became unavailable to him, he wanted to try and win you back and once he would get you, then he would go back to his old ways. Its nothing more then a childish game, so you did good and all that time that you did feel bad has finally paid off now, so good for you. I am great. I am set to graduate in December and besides that, the same old stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 I'm happy for ya...you are a lucky one to finally experience what it's like to have the real deal. I think us women tend to "settle" for FWB simply because we don't know what it's like otherwise. We might be convinced that this is as good as it gets! Sad, but true. From my experience, there are a lot more FWB-type guys out there than the kind you have found. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 For the most part women are not wired for FWB situations! He treats me like a princess, he tells me how beautiful I am, he calls every day, he buys me flowers, tells me how lucky he is and how much he loves me, buys me presents for no reason and makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world! Now that's what it's all about, even makes the "benefits" more rewarding! Good for you, hope you both live happily ever after. Nothing like being appreciated and reminded of it! Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 For the most part women are not wired for FWB situations! Funny..I"ve been told that men are not wired for monogomas situations! Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 :lmao: There in lies the problem! Funny..I"ve been told that men are not wired for monogomas situations! Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 hey Lishy ! Congrats ! I never "met" you, but have always personally been glad I missed the FWB generation ( I'm 40 and you either court me or lose my number !) But that also hasn't given me a leg to stand on when I tell gals what you just did ! You've been there, done that, and are now doing terrific and sharing that !!! Way to go !!! Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Lishy, I didn't pine for my FWB, I knew he wasn't right for me, but I do understand feeling like a million bucks when with him, then nothing for days or weeks. When I said "you could call me every now and then" he replied "that wouldn't be right, it would be like I was calling you for sex." I said "well that's basically what I'm doing since I do all the calling" and his reply was "that's different when a woman calls for sex." Didn't seem any different to me at the time, but I now clearly see that he was making sure that I did the calling so I couldn't feel that he "used" me for sex. It was a barely subtle difference. When I found my current beau and felt like that million dollars but also got all the bells and whistles to go with it, it was like seeing the light. I know I could never go back to a FWB and be satisfied with a strictly sexual relationship. I would rather be alone. Still, when I entered into that agreement, and I was the one to contact him about an agreement of that nature, that was all I was capable of dealing with at that time. I should not have continued it for 15 months, though. It became a habit and kept me from really living again. Good to hear that you have found a wonderful man and happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Lishy~baby ~ Congrats you got a good guy who knows how to treat ya right ! Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 I have just noticed through reading a few posts that it seems that those who were really suffering/done wrong and all this last year....are finally seeing better choices and having great things happening for them in this new spring. I vaguely recall your drama. I remember your avatar more then anything else. However, your story, as well as a few others (in this forum, as well as in my real life) has given me a little hope. Good things do happen to good people, you have to want it, recognize it and value it when it comes along. Maybe that is the difference between good people and good (smart) people? I am very happy for you. As well a to a few others coming out of the dark tunnel of heartbreak. Good for you, and thanks for sharing your story. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishy Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 Wow what great responses! I honestly think that if I did not do that FWB thing I would not appreciate what I have now as much as I do! My man has gone to Spain with his pals and he still calls me every day to check I am ok. FWB's serve a small purpose when you are not ready for a 'full on' relationship but in the long run they make you feel like dirt and also dirty, it takes away all feelings of self worth and it makes you hate men and think they are all the same and all after sex (which is not true) a year ago I was a man hater, thought all men wanted was sex and also thought that no-one would want me as I was not good enough! NOW I think that any man would be lucky to be with me and I value myself so much! So even though, in a way, I regret my FWB, I also realise that it was a great learning curve for me and it has made me really appreciate what I have now! xx Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Wow what great responses! I honestly think that if I did not do that FWB thing I would not appreciate what I have now as much as I do! My man has gone to Spain with his pals and he still calls me every day to check I am ok. FWB's serve a small purpose when you are not ready for a 'full on' relationship but in the long run they make you feel like dirt and also dirty, it takes away all feelings of self worth and it makes you hate men and think they are all the same and all after sex (which is not true) a year ago I was a man hater, thought all men wanted was sex and also thought that no-one would want me as I was not good enough! NOW I think that any man would be lucky to be with me and I value myself so much! So even though, in a way, I regret my FWB, I also realise that it was a great learning curve for me and it has made me really appreciate what I have now! xx Amen to most of that for me. I was never a man hater, nor did I feel dirty or like dirt, but I do think a FWB relationship had some play on continuing an already low self esteem. I definitely think it was important for me to experience this in order to appreciate what I have now. ALL relationships, good and bad, have value to me in some way. Each has helped me to learn what IS and ISN'T important to me satisfaction. All of them were valuable lessons. Link to post Share on other sites
marlena Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 I Good things do happen to good people, you have to want it, recognize it and value it when it comes along. Maybe that is the difference between good people and good (smart) people? Ditto on that one! You have made an excellent point there! It is not enough to be "a nice person" but a "smart" one as well. Smart meaning weeding out the "jerks" from the "gems"! I too am glad that a lot of nice people on LS are smartening up! Wonder when I will!!!! I'm trying though! Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 I'm with you DDL, I've never been a "man hater" even though I've felt "screwed over" many times. I've done my share of heart-breaking, too. I don't regret any of my past relationships, even the messed up ones! Weather it was friend, FWB, or more...I figure they are simply leading to where ever I'm going now! Link to post Share on other sites
painting_monalisa Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I was in a relationship like this after a long term relationship break-up.Think I wasn't quite ready for anything else. It wasn't good for me as he was still "looking for Ms Right" and my self esteem took a dive. Now that things are over he states he loves me......sure....but not like the way love should be....so I will never go back to something that ultimately left me feeling so empty and wondering what was wrong with me that I wasn't Ms Right... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishy Posted May 10, 2007 Author Share Posted May 10, 2007 That is exactly how it was for me Mona! And to go from all of that crappy emotion and feeling so low in myself I have now met a guy who makes me feel a million dollars! He asked me to marry him last night! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 That is exactly how it was for me Mona! And to go from all of that crappy emotion and feeling so low in myself I have now met a guy who makes me feel a million dollars! He asked me to marry him last night! Congrats Lishy ! Can I make your wedding cake ? hehe Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 That is exactly how it was for me Mona! And to go from all of that crappy emotion and feeling so low in myself I have now met a guy who makes me feel a million dollars! He asked me to marry him last night! I assume you accepted his proposal! Congratulations, I couldn't be happier for you! My man is also someone I had known for years. Sometimes I wish we had gotten together years ago, but I also know that would have changed many aspects of my life. I think we had to travel the paths we did in order to have such deep appreciation for one another. We had to "get ready" for "us." I hope you will post all the juicy details of the wedding planing when the time arises. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishy Posted May 11, 2007 Author Share Posted May 11, 2007 Well I dont want to get married so I told him that I love him lots but marriage is not on my agenda. I like things just as they are. I have only been with him for 10 months and maybe things between us will change (I also have alot of baggage from my last marriage) I see it this way ... Why fix what aint broke? Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 Well I dont want to get married so I told him that I love him lots but marriage is not on my agenda. I like things just as they are. I have only been with him for 10 months and maybe things between us will change (I also have alot of baggage from my last marriage) I see it this way ... Why fix what aint broke? Marriage is not on my agenda either, but there are going to be some ladies just dying for a proposal who are now saying "What?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishy Posted May 11, 2007 Author Share Posted May 11, 2007 It is really strange but even when i was a little girl I didnt dream of getting married like other girls did I just dont see the point All that 'pomp and ceremony' and being the centre of attention fills me with dread! Link to post Share on other sites
ollie Posted May 23, 2007 Share Posted May 23, 2007 whats an fwb? im new here!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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