getting over a relationship that ended ~6 yrs ago

[Barista007]

I still have nauseating dizzy spells of jealousy sometimes when thinking about a guy I dated from age 17-22, and we've been broken up for about 6 years now. He was verbally abusive (and physically threatening) but he had funny, romantic, and chivalrous good points, too... I only saw the bad stuff (him putting me down towards the end of the relationship, etc.) after we broke up. I don't understand why I feel this way still -- he has a long-term live in giflfriend who he will probably marry, and I know *logically* I should 'do better' than this guy. I guess I in part think that if I was a better girlfriend back then, I could have helped him shape up some how (he had financial issues too) like his current girlfriend did.

 

it doesnt help any that we have lots of mutual friends from when we were dating, either.

 

why am i so crazy-jealous at times?

 

it's like 'on paper' I feel like I shouldnt give a crap. everyone says i've got so much gpoing for me... and i see their POV but... ugh. it's like i hate him and love him and want to be his friend all at once.

 

SIX years ago! I feel like a nutcase admitting this...

[IpAncA]

Have you thought about talking to someone about this?