My Best Friend and Moer

[Audrey17]

I have been best friends with this guy for 6 years, although we have known each other for 10. We became close so quickly, talking on the phone 24/7 and hanging out as much as possible when he was in town. Of course he now lives in another state, which makes things even more complicated.

 

So soon after we started getting close, our relationship shifted. We always said we were just Best Friends, but we would put limits on each other like, neither one of us are allowed to get serious about another person right now. He would call me 5 or 6 times a day. Every single morning for 6 years I would get a wake up call from him saying I love you and have a good day. We talked about everything in the world. He knows me better than I think I know myself.

 

Through every single thing that has happened in my life these last years, he has been there non stop and without fail ready to do anything to be there for me. And I woke up one day and realized I was completely and totally in love with him. I kept the feelings to myself b/c I was terrified of ruining this amazing friendship in my life. And while we were both officially single and had no commitment to each other, I found myself ignoring all other possibilities b/c I just wasn't interested.

 

So while we are labeling ourselves friends, we weren't acting very friendlike at all, but more like a couple.

 

Already long story short, he came home a few months ago and we had this amazing night. And the next night he ends up hooking up with some random girl in her car outside the club.

 

And officially, we have no hold on each other, so I can't even rant and rave at him openly. He knew the instant he got back to my side how much he'd hurt me.

 

I came to the conclusion the next day that I had to ask him to take a step back. I had to seperate our friendship from all the extra stuff that's been added over the years. I love him so much and yet I can't keep myself on hold for the possibility of him.

 

He didn't like the step back and fought it and sent me songs and notes and texts that just made it all the harder for me, but I finally made him realize that I had to do this for me. And he accepted that and respected my decision.

 

Things went ok for awhile, I cried everyday, but we still talked very regularly and we both made an effort to be "friendly". But now, its progressed to barely talking at all.

 

I miss my best friend so much. And I am still completely in love with him. I asked him to take a step back not run away. What the hell should I do?

[norajane]

Tell him you're in love with him, and you're miserable with the way things are between you. Tell him you want to be a couple. What's stopping you two from being a couple? What are you afraid of? You're on track to lose the friendship this way anyway, so what's really holding you back?

 

And what is a "Moer"?

[Audrey17]

ha. moer is a typo. I'm an idiot.

 

I would love to tell him at this point b/c there doesn't seem to be much friendship left to lose. I guess nothing is holding me back... Although I did just try to call him really quickly after I posted b/c he's normally up so late, and a random girl answered his phone. I just never thought it would be so easy for him to disconnect from everything that we have been over the years.

[norajane]

He didn't just disconnect:

 

He didn't like the step back and fought it and sent me songs and notes and texts that just made it all the harder for me, but I finally made him realize that I had to do this for me. And he accepted that and respected my decision.

 

But he saw things were uncomfortable between you and awkward, so he stepped back.

 

After you two hooked up and then he hooked up with the other girl and saw how hurt you were, did he suggest that the two of you start dating? Are you afraid he won't want to?

 

I think it's time to be honest about your feelings. You really have nothing to lose, and at least if you deal honestly with each other, there can be no wondering 'what if' and 'if only'.

[Audrey17]

No he never suggested that. We have never talked about dating each other. But weirdly enough, he's told me multiple times that I am the only person he could ever imagine marrying and spending the rest of his life with.

 

I think I'll let him finish finals this next week and then we'll talk. His mother is always offering me tickets out to see him, maybe I'll take her up on it. I guess we'll see what happens...

[painting_monalisa]

There is risk in everything. If you don't take a chance and tell him how you feel you will never know for sure. You may miss out on your chance to move the relationship to the next level. He maybe dating and seeing others because he misses you. Don't let it slip away. You have to try. If it isn't meant to be you will find out. If not then you can move on and stop wondering. Give him the benefit of the doubt just this once.

Good Luck

[Road Rage]

Am I the only one here that can see that a guy who "has an amazing night" with a gal he`s been telling he loves everyday for six years and then randomly hooks up with a chick the next night has some serious commitment issues?

[Audrey17]

I never got the chance to do anything. I had to go out of town unexpectedly and see my Grandfather who is dying and help take care of my Grandmother. He called me everyday to check on me and tell me he loved me, but I could never talk for long.

 

Then I got back and the day after I got back home, they took my Grandfather off of life support. And he was great. Texting me all day telling me how much he loves me and can't wait to come home so he can give me a hug.

 

Then, the middle of the night, that same day, he calls me, wakes me up and says sorry about your grandfather, but we can never talk again. I am asleep, so I am like WTF?!? I wake up, and I text him, is this a joke?!? And he says no, I love kristin (name of new skank) and we can't talk anymore. I then get all these HORRIBLE text messages from him. I called a friend, crying, she also knows him and we determine that it must be the new girl sending me these msgs. I decide to wait until morning and I text him again, telling him if he's going to end us, I want to hear his voice doing it and not a text, that he owes me at least that much.

 

AND HE CALLED. And he sat there saying we could never talk again. And I could hear her voice in the background the entire time. The things he was saying were so unbelievable. I KNOW with everything I am that he doesn't really feel that way. And I know, without any doubt, that this new girl made him do this. But this is what it comes down to, she may have made him do it, but he STILL chose to do this to me. And not just end our relationship after 6 years, but to hit me with it when I am already at my absolute lowest b/c of my grandfather.

 

And now I am heartbroken. I can't eat, I can't sleep at night. And I refuse to call him. I have too much pride. But I am dying to know how he is doing. I love him. And I hate him.