Got to find some spice......

[Sooni]

I've been dating this guy for over a year. Sex use to be awesome! I don't know if it's just me, him or a combination of both.

 

We are rarely alone. He and his sister share a place and she is a severe homebody, so making the roof rock is out of the question, and I have children at home.

 

I've suggested getting a hotel room and he's like "why?! We don't need to waste any money on crap like that."

 

Sex has become so predictable.

 

I know what's going to happen next.

 

I always obtain the big "O" on top. 5 minutes into our romp he wants me on top. I'm thinking "Already?" Then because of the sudden quickness in position change, I find that I am unable to relax and just enjoy it, I feel like I'm being pressured to hurry up and achieve an "O". I was very dissatisfied last night.

 

We don't have sex alot. The last time was over 2 weeks ago. We don't always have to have sex when we are togther. We like to cuddle and just hang out with one another as well.

 

I've suggested "adult toys". He feels intimidated by them. He likes knowing that it's him that's getting me all riled up and not some "object".

 

Don't men feel the monotony of the same ole' same ole'? Can he honestly be totally oblivious to what I feel is a routine?

 

Any suggestions on how to spice up a very routine sex life with my partner?

[fredsprop]

I've been dating this guy for over a year. Sex use to be awesome! I don't know if it's just me, him or a combination of both. We are rarely alone. He and his sister share a place and she is a severe homebody, so making the roof rock is out of the question, and I have children at home. I've suggested getting a hotel room and he's like "why?! We don't need to waste any money on crap like that." Sex has become so predictable. I know what's going to happen next. I always obtain the big "O" on top. 5 minutes into our romp he wants me on top. I'm thinking "Already?" Then because of the sudden quickness in position change, I find that I am unable to relax and just enjoy it, I feel like I'm being pressured to hurry up and achieve an "O". I was very dissatisfied last night. We don't have sex alot. The last time was over 2 weeks ago. We don't always have to have sex when we are togther. We like to cuddle and just hang out with one another as well. I've suggested "adult toys". He feels intimidated by them. He likes knowing that it's him that's getting me all riled up and not some "object". Don't men feel the monotony of the same ole' same ole'? Can he honestly be totally oblivious to what I feel is a routine? Any suggestions on how to spice up a very routine sex life with my partner?

Okay, so this sounds like such a common problem. I think that just because a relationship is not new anymore it doesn't have to feel so old. First, I have a question. Do you know why the sexual relationship between you and your boyfriend has fizzled out? If you can trace back to the when and why then you might be able to rectify the situation. Usually when a sexual relationship fizzles out it's because of some conflict or tension. If that is the case, then maybe try finding the problem and fixing it. If not, then just try to be new or adventurous. I would really strongly suggest that you discuss this unhappiness and boredom with your boyfriend. Tell him how you feel and what you would like him to do about it or what would make things better for you. Also, if he's intimidated by the "toys" you suggested, try to coax him into it slowly. Make him feel comfortable with the idea first. Tell him that you just want to try these things to add some spice to the sexual relationship.

 

If he hasn't already caught your drift on your lack of enthusiasm, maybe you should just tell him how you feel. It's really a common complaint of women that their lovers are not in tune with their emotions. But let's face it, sometimes you just have to write it on a bill board to get them to understand. And after trying different things and talking to him, if that doesn't work, then he's just plainly disregarding your feelings. and in that case, get rid of him. Everyone needs love, attention, and comforting in a relationship. If he can't provide you with that, you should find someone who can. I hope this was of some help to you. good luck!!!

[MARLA]

hey i was married for two years and things were the same with my sex life and this is what i learned. instead of the toys just go and get some kind of cheap loungerie? and put on a show for him when you can. tell him you have a supprise and make him feel like he has the most sexy girlfriend in the world it will be hard at first because if he is in the rut then it will take a while to get him out.but it will be worth it in the long run!!!!!

[Sooni]

Okay....looking back it began to fizzle when he said he need more space and I decided to hang out more with a friend he doesn't like. I told him because I am hanging out with her, he can have all the space he wants....in turn he says "when I finally decide that you're what I want in my life you might not be there." Along with "you're everthing I want and your perfect for me, I couldn't ask for a better person BUT you have kids".

 

I just need to wake up and smell the coffee. He's 27, I'm 33, he's never been married and doesn't have any children. I on the other hand am the type of woman a man like that WILL NOT settle down with.........who can blame him? Everyone wants what they want.......is it so bad?

 

Only to the delusion like myself..........

 

He doesn't treat me the same. We attend the same Mountain Bike Club. We use to go in together, holding hands. Now it's "I don't want people to know that we are still seeing each other". So ultimatley....I am the fool in the non-relationship-relationship.