yhan_627 Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 i am going 24 yrs old and i have a boyfriend same age as i do. we haven't seen each other for almost a year now since i moved here in canada and i left him in our home country. We've been together for 4 years when i left to immigrate here. so we're going to out 5th year this year. and we decided to get married so we can be together here. i think for 5 years of being together(well 4 years of physically). we know each other already and for one thing i don't see him as immature and not ready for marriage. at first my mom and dad are interfering and trying to stop about getting married. but now they have finally accepted it. the whole family started interferring. when I say the whole family i mean my relative mom's side of the family because i'm more closer to them. there's this festival at our town today. they invited them him. and my older brother spend the day with him so he won't feel left out or something. he felt really accepted until these guy who my aunt married early this year (who just dated the guy for barely a month). let's say his name is john and my fiance name is jerry. john talked to jerry about marriage because he was an ex-seminarian who handles marriage counseling before. after talking to him for barely an hour john said that jerry is not ready to get married and that he's not matured enough. and maybe they're also thinking that the only reason we're getting married is so that he can come here and not because of our relationship. can you really judge and assess a person's maturity for 30mins - 1 hour of talking? not even my fiance parent said anything about his maturity. he felt so low after that talked. i don't think john have the right to talked to him that way. so what do yout think? can you assess maturity for just a few mins? Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted May 6, 2007 Share Posted May 6, 2007 You can asses maturity in 30min-1hr, but I'm not convinced that is what is happening here. It sounds more like your family enlisted him to "prove" that he wasn't ready for marriage and to convince you not to get married. How much of a say do your parents and his parents have in your marriage? Will he then join you in Canada? Have your parents listed any actual concerns other than they don't think you are ready? Ask them for specific reasons. They may have some valid points that could be addressed by the two of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yhan_627 Posted May 8, 2007 Author Share Posted May 8, 2007 my parent's didn't say anything bad about him. they just said that i'm doing things to fast. cause we just came here last year. and now i'm going back to get married. they haven't able to bring my big brother here and now i'm going to sponsor my husband after we got married. but now my parent's have accepted the fact that i'm going through with the wedding whether they like it or not. as for my future husband's parents. they have no problem whatsoever about our plans. it's just my relatives that are making things i don't know... anyways.... all i know is that i just felt like they are doing it on purpose. Link to post Share on other sites
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