scared that I am going to lose my best friend

[Anarya]

I don't know what to do with my feelings, so I have come to this site, hoping to get some advice.

 

I have known my best guy-friend for 10+ years. And some how, over the last year or so, I have developed a super-insane crush on him. I love our close friendship so much, having him as a friend has helped me through a lot of rough patches. But I am so worried that if he finds out I have crush on him, he will hate me, or he won't want to be friends anymore. I fear it would cause permanent damage to our friendship, and I couldn't live with that.

Once he asked me if I had a crush on him, because one of my friends told him that I did, and I was so ... scared and surprised, I lied and said I didn't have a crush on him, but I really liked him.

Something that's been really bothering me too is, I get really jealous when he is with other girls, like my best girl friend for example, he likes her, and when ever I see them talking, or even here that they have been talking, I get so... jealous and worried that I am going to lose my friend.

How can I get over this crush? Should I tell him how I feel? How can I tell if he likes me? How can I get over this ridiculous jealousy?

Please, I need some advice; I don’t want to lose my best friend!

[Trimmer]

How old are you both now? Do you have any sense of how he feels about you? Maybe his asking if you had a crush on him was his way of opening a conversation to tell you how he felt about you...

[kepners]

def that he tried opening the convo about it... but she also said she liked him alot.

 

i see couple of things.

 

you need to basically tell him how you feel and let him do the rest! if he dont like you like that then its over... then all u have to deal with is ur friend getting with him... harsh, i COULD NOT deal with that!!! i would batter him for taking a run at a women i had a thing for.

 

if u dont tell him you could still lose him.... and have feelings and have no friends... just tell him, on the phone in person text message... etc do it before its too late!

[Anarya]

@ Trimmer: Well, we are both still young, in our mid-teens. He is a year and a half younger then me. Sometimes, I think he might actually really like me, but other times it seems he really doesent. He seemed to really want the converstation over as soon as I gave him my answer, he said he was "glad to have that cleared up".

 

We get teased a lot from people hinting that we are together or should be, is he holding back because of this?

 

@ kepners: I will definatly put some thought into it, and see if I can find a way to tell him. But I would rather die then ruin our friendship over something that may not actually be something. Will telling him about my crush affect/mess-up the awesome friendship we already have?

[kepners]

honey, i would only become a problem if u start to get jealous once you have told him... remember you would only get jealous if he dont like you the way you do.

but certainly for me, its in your hands how you deal with it. i would love to have my ex back in mylife... even as a friend... but its not ment to be. shes not replied to an email i sent her saying how much i loved her, so there is my answer! she wasnt the friend i thought she was in my mind.... think about that.

[Anarya]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

I have done lots of thinking on this. And I have decided, I will tell him how I feel, somehow, although I have no idea how. But something that I have noticed is, he is completely oblivious to how much all the girls like him, either that or he just does not aknowledge it. And while hes a great guy and all, he is still young, almost too imature for a relationship. So we'll see over the next couple months what happens, then unless some how I've gotten over my insane crush on him, I will tell him.

And I'll see what happens, because we are going square dancing together this Friday, something we both love. So we will go, and have fun, and the chips will fall where they may.

But I am going to stop worrying about the issue, time will pass and things will change. But for now, the most important thing in my life should be my education, and my job. Not boy worries.

~thanks again