Unclescam777 Posted January 9, 2003 Share Posted January 9, 2003 With all seriousness something just hit me. Now that me and my girlfriend are no more I have absolutely no clue on how to find someone else. I'm 18 years old and i fear my dating life may already be over. Before you tell me that its all in my head, hear me out. In a few months i'll graduate school, my only source of females right now. In my spare time I work or sit online. My workplace is ALL males, besides i work nights. I am extremely shy and not very good looking. But the fact that i dont know how to pick up girls isnt the problem, the problem is i'll never see a girl to pick up! I never go to party's, clubs, or anything else like that. There is no place to actually meet someone, let alone someone who is interested in me. So in the end i have absolutely no dating skills. I've only been with 1 girl in my life and she asked me out so i never had to ask anyone out before....i have no idea how to even begin to approach a woman. So lets sum it up. No chances to meet girls + shyness + ugliness + no pickup/dating skills = me alone forever. How pathetic... Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted January 9, 2003 Share Posted January 9, 2003 [color=indigo] With that attitude, of course you are going to be alone forever. Don't underestimate yourself or your situation. You are only 18 years old, so give yourself a break. First of all, work to GET dating skills. I used to be shy but I finally realized something needed to change, so I worked on myself. I forced myself to have a better image of myself and take risks when it came to talking to people. The positive state of mind, along with a positive self image made a world of difference. Don't expect change to happen overnight as these sort of mental changes can take years, but in the end you'll be better for it. Seriously though, with such a pessimistic view of your life, nothing WILL change. I would first work on your self esteem and then work on asking a girl out. Start getting social by doing stuff that you love to do. You'll meet people. Are you planning on going on to college? If so, that's a great place to meet girls too. Ask yourself WHY you don't like to go to parties or be very social. Is it because of your shyness? Sometimes we need to throw caution to the wind and take life by the horns regardless of what other people think. The fact that you wrote here means that you aren't totally hopeless about yourself and you are at least WILLING to change. That's a positive start! Believe in yourself and the rest will fall into place. [/color] Link to post Share on other sites
lostone Posted January 9, 2003 Share Posted January 9, 2003 Dude: You HAVE to do stuff to better yourself because no one else can or will. Change or alter or "spare time" activities unless you want to meet someone online. Go out, go shopping, go cruise chicks at the mall. Will you work "nights" at this place or any other place the "rest" of your life? Maybe find a new job where women work... You are partially if not totally responsible for your own happiness/sadness. SHY: Maybe you are "reserved" and you save all of you communication for "the right time?" If not, change. There a ton of "socialization" classes all over the place. Looks: Maybe change your outfit, workout, hairstyle. You do know that the ugly duckling youth looks often grow into better looks as you age. THe only way you are going to get a girl is to talk them since none of us look like Brad Pitt and can woo a girl alone with looks. As you age, I think your shyness will disappear and then your inability to even talk to a girl will subside. Colleges are filled with beautiful women... maybe go to college??? Take the next step to better yourself. You will do nothing but make your life better. You are only 18 yro. You have a lot of growing and maturing to do yet. Look at it like this: you were probably a crappy driver when you were 16; but improved (hopefully) drastically with age, practice and experience right? Figure out what kind of girl you are interested in and attend those areas where that type may hang out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Unclescam777 Posted January 9, 2003 Author Share Posted January 9, 2003 um, where was this moved to? I'm lost...it says moved but its in the same forum....hmm Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted January 9, 2003 Share Posted January 9, 2003 So lets sum it up. No chances to meet girls + shyness + ugliness + no pickup/dating skills = me alone forever. No chances to meet girls: You have to MAKE your own opportunities. It's the same for everyone! There have already been lots of good advice given, but I'll add one more. You say you work with a lot of guys - well, make friends with them--some of them might know girls, or you can act as support systems for each other and venture out together to meet girls. Shyness: Use it to your advantage. If you are out somewhere and you have an opportunity to talk with some girls, tell them that you are shy and have trouble meeting girls. You might be surprised at the response you get - especially at your age. Women are, by nature, nurturers and many will want to help you. Ugliness: Yeah, you have heard "in the eye of the beholder" enough. But it's true. I'm sure there are lots of girls out there who don't (or won't when they meet you) think you are ugly. I can give you an example. Have you ever seen the old TV Show M*A*S*H? Do you remember a character: Charles Emerson Winchester III? Balding, pudgy guy. Well, some of my friends thought I was nuts, but there was just something about him that I thought was sexy as hell. You don't know what about yourself others may find sexy or attractive. Something else to take into consideration here, is what type of girls do you want to meet? Do you only want to date size 3 blondes? Try looking at some plain girls and get to know them - personality goes a lot further than looks. I've read about a lot of guys who consider themselves ugly, but who only want to date women who look like supermodels. They whine that "if only she gave me a chance she would see what a wonderful, sensitive, loving guy I am" Do the same for girls. You are just dating here - not looking for a wife right away! You will meet others and date. Read some of these posts in lots of categories and there is a lot of good information about how women feel about men and about behaviors, and how men feel to. Some of this might help to give you confidence - just knowing that others have problems and knowing how you want to treat other and be treated, is helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted January 9, 2003 Share Posted January 9, 2003 I know it doesn't help me saying this but. IT WILL HAPPEN! I remember thinking 'I am going to be alone forever and never find someone' and I did find someone. Better than the last. Just stick in there and when you are ready for it you will find someone. It is hard to do, and not something that is fun to go through but it is worth it and it helps you grow as a person. We all find someone and you are only 18 (as much as I hate using that line) Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 10, 2003 Share Posted January 10, 2003 The last 3 guys I've dated, I met online. You can always meet people through friends or family members, and in all honesty, when you gain more confidence in yourself, you'll find yourself meeting more people. The best thing I can say is...there is a new show on WB that started last night...it's called High School Reunion. They have the popular chick, the nerd, the loner, the bully, etc etc, and its amazing to see how much they've all changed. In fact, the popular girl actually went on a date with the nerd! You are only 18...when I was 18, I was in love with "the only guy I could ever picture myself with...EVER...and if I didnt have him, I would be destined to be single forever." Don't write yourself off yet! Link to post Share on other sites
fatty Posted January 10, 2003 Share Posted January 10, 2003 Hello Buddy dont doubt of the things you can do. I am going throught the same situation. I only had one girl all mylife and i am 18. but you have to look at the rest of your life , you have only lived 1/3 and dude trust me i look like some one out of the garbage. BUT you have to understand one thing. This is what i discovered when my self esteem was low and was depressed. 1) If you dont have looks why not make your personality the strong point. And this works man if a girl sees a man with respect and always theier for them, they will forget how you look like. LOOKS ARE NOT EVERYTHING Dude i know what you are going through i went through the same thing. But dont worry man you must understand that girls are not everything. You have everything else to enjoy so go ahead and fun. I mean dontliek go drink your ass or hit clubs just try to talk. get out of yrou shell . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Unclescam777 Posted January 12, 2003 Author Share Posted January 12, 2003 Well thanks for the advice! Got me a woman again :-D Thats all I need to say...but I'm very happy, so thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted January 12, 2003 Share Posted January 12, 2003 Good to see you moved on quick!!!1 Link to post Share on other sites
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