New Catagory "Visual Cheating"

[LakesideDream]

It's high time LS'ers made the new catagory of "Visual Cheating" official. The old standards of "physical cheating" and "emotional cheating" are no longer sufficient.

 

Obviously, if a man looks at a woman other than his SO more than casually, it's "Visual Cheating".

 

If a man looks at pornography, it's "Visual Cheating."

 

Gawd forbid if a man goes to a strip club or Vegas style show, it's cheating. Ditto for "R" rated (nudity) movies (excluding Romantic Comedys).

 

Please feel free to add examples/catagories to the above. This shoud become an all inclusive standard. It's high time standards were set and put into practice. Once we have properly catagorized "Visual Cheating" we can all move on to "Verbal Cheating".

[laRubiaBonita]

personally i would think your visual cheating would STILL fall under the Emotional Cheating title. looking is not cheating, unless your motives are geared towards that.

 

are you going to then say that if you happen to smell someones perfume or cologne, and like it, that would be olfactory cheating?

 

and Cheating is mainly subjective, at least that is what i have come to find out.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

I would like to submit GIRLS GONE WILD VIDEO ADVERTISMENTS and THE MAN SHOW reruns for consideration as visual cheating! :laugh:

[Art_Critic]

What about sensory cheating instead ?..

That way inhaling a woman's perfume when she passes you at the mall would be considered cheating.

[LakesideDream]

What about sensory cheating instead ?..

That way inhaling a woman's perfume when she passes you at the mall would be considered cheating.

 

 

Now we are gettin somewhere... Why instead? "Sensory Cheating" may well be another needed catagory!

[Tangerina]

Lollerskates to lollerskates, and to visual cheating. I visually cheated today because the sexy guitarist from the band I saw saturday night was waiting in line with me at the store. I was dressed in work clothes which = rubber boots and muddy pants and tattered shirt and beanie cap because I work in people's gardens, so I'm pretty sure he did not visual cheat back. Plus he is like 2 feet taller than me, so he probably couldn't even see me.

[Tony]

This could be a great thread but many want to be silly and veer off the topic of the first post. Please read the first post carefully and give your thoughts. Be sure your post relates to that, otherwise start your own thread.

 

PLEASE, stick to the topic of the thread and keep silly, distracting remarks off the subject at hand.

 

Many thanks.

[Trialbyfire]

If there's no interaction, how can you commit an act of infidelity? Simply looking or enjoying the smell of someone else, is only a one-way action.

 

If I touch a piece of fine, quality silk and enjoy the sensuousness of it, does this mean I've cheated? If so, then lingerie shouldn't be tolerated.

[whichwayisup]

So fantasy and thinking, hmmmmmm for a fleeting moment is cheating as well.

 

I guess having crushes on movie stars, professional athletes, or rockstars falls under the catergory of cheating too!

[whichwayisup]

I'm serious - My shower massager. Am I cheating?

 

There are times I just wanna get it over with, have a fast cum, alone and no actual penetration. So, is that cheating instead of going to my H and asking him for a quickie? Do I have a right to self satisfy myself? Whether it be in the shower, in bed, using a vibe?

[Trialbyfire]

Exactly. You really don't give your man enough credit if you believe he can't differentiate between fantasy and reality, where there's no interaction.

[polywog]

Forgive me, lakeside, but I don't know you well enough to know whether this Is a Serious Thread, but Tony's rebuke will make me treat it as one.

 

I am the most loyal lover possible, but I know I subconciously gawk at sexy men, and flirt on occasion (not seriously), but I try not to gawk in front of my lover. And would Never, Ever flirt with another in the presence of my lover. Because he's The One, My Home, and the others are like the passing scenery on a car trip.

 

I might feel a tinge of animal jealousy if I knew my man was oggling the Girls Gone Wild or whatnot, Or saw his jaw dropping at the sight of a passing mega-babe, but I'd just chalk it up to the fact that we are sexual animals. I'd never want a man I was involved with to feel like he could Only Look At Me, so long as he is loyal and attracted to me. Nor would I want to be on a short leash of not being allowed to look at pretty sights.

 

If my man ignored me and spent hours online masturbating to porno, or flirted with other women in my presence, or lead other women on behind my back, then I'd consider it a form of cheating.

[whichwayisup]

Exactly. You really don't give your man enough credit if you believe he can't differentiate between fantasy and reality, where there's no interaction.

 

I was making the thread more serious, but asking questions that I know are outrageous.

 

Trust me, I know my H has NO problem with me having my fun in the shower, and he knows all about differentiating between fantasy and reality.

[Trialbyfire]

I was making the thread more serious, but asking questions that I know are outrageous.

 

Trust me, I know my H has NO problem with me having my fun in the shower, and he knows all about differentiating between fantasy and reality.

I caught it and was reinforcing to it.

 

Btw, lest we forget, masturbation could and has been construed as cheating by some...

 

I don't know. Why people sweat the small stuff I don't understand. To me it's more of a control issue than anything else.

[LakesideDream]

Ouch. I'm dissapointed that the "excluding romantic comedys" remark didn't give me away... in truth it was a disclaimer.

[zilverenvlinder]

You insecure, jealous, possessive women are going to drive your men away. Men are VISUAL creatures. Women are EMOTIONAL. Just because they like to look at boobies on TV once in awhile doesn't mean they find you unattractive or love you less.

[Zona76]

Porn in my opinion is NOT cheating. (unless it's compulsive)

I'ts like saying "Oh God!" during sex, is Praying.

Who are all the Nuns that are complaining that nudity should be kept clothed?

I bet none of you ladies dress seductivly when you go to the clubs. Secetly hoping no one will look at you???

Can this subject end?

[Krytellan]

Wait, wait, wait.

 

Better yet, let's make another category called Mental Cheating. This is perfect. For those men that are so sleazy that they actually show NO visible signs of cheating (yeah right, as if). If you are unfortunate enough to have a man that doesn't watch porn, get lap dances, look at another woman, or have sex with another woman, then he is obviously just mentally sexing every person he sees. These are the worst kind of men.

 

If you have a man that doesn't fall into the classic cheating types, then he must be a Mental Cheater and should be dumped for the scum he is.

[IWalkAlone]

Are women who watch Brad Pitt movies or read romance novels guilty of visual or mental cheating?

[Guest]

"Are women who watch Brad Pitt movies or read romance novels guilty of visual or mental cheating?"

 

YES, because we can SEE his huge hard d*ck as he strokes it for us and because in the romance novel, you can SEE some "actors: hmm hmm (clears throat); the guy doing her in the a$$ while she plays with herself in a full spread out crotch shot while she tugs on her nipples and then the other "actor" is also fingering herself in another full-on crotch shot and then you also get to see the money shot too!

 

yes, romance novels and Brad Pitt movies; totally cheating

[pennyjosix]

I wouldn't say my bf cheats on me if he looked at porn or something, but it definitely is NOT something I want him doing. If he's with me then he's with me. I don't look at naked men. I don't want him looking at naked women. Period. If I found out he did, I wouldn't want to be with him. Maybe that's harsh to some people, but that's how I feel.

[boshemia]

Visual cheating is AKA lust. If your lust is going to someone other than the person it is supposed to be going to, the other person is quite often going to be hurt.

 

While some things such as porn, masturbation, strippers, and just general checking out someone hot while you are walking down the street may be fairly innocent on your part... it doesn't make the pain any less real.

 

I have no problem with it when I am with someone I trust, but I've been on the other side as well. Was his physical cheating linked to his "visual" cheating? I don't know, but I did see a major progression from fantasy to reality as time went on. It is worth exploring.

 

Yes, I do think we need a new category... we get enough porn and masturbation threads here that they almost have their own category already. It's just a matter of making it official.

[Miss Jane]

Did any of you read the article in GQ magazine about a poll they conducted to see how men felt about various infidelity issues? No one likes their SO looking at someone else--I, personally, am deeply hurt by it, but (in my case) it seems to be that the majority of men like to look and lust and fantasize about other women because anthropologically that's the way men are. My husband tells me that the women at work look just as much as the men--in fact, he thinks they are worse because they are so open talking about it. As far as visual cheating goes, I had this issue with my husband and a lap dance. He doesn't think there is anything wrong with it and he polled all his co-workers and they all don't think it's a big deal--so apparently, I'm the big prude! Finding out about this visual cheating has really hurt my feelings--I've been married almost 23 years. It's so nice when you've been committed for so long and your husband and his buddies think that "guy" fun has to consist of a strip club and teenage strippers. The GQ article says 32% of men think a lap dance is cheating so that makes it OK--it makes it sound like everyone should agree with the majority--what a bunch of crap. I think the article basically stated that all visual cheating is just that--visual--and isn't cheating. I don't think most SO's would agree, but the excuse is that that is just how men are. That men are not meant to be monogamous so they justify various "actions" to suit their own gratification in this area. I think that these days we are so innundated with sex in the media and porn will soon be mainstream--our society is changing. I think these issues always existed, it's just more in our face now. Look at a lot of the commercials on TV. I love it when I'm watching a show with my husband and a Victoria's Secret commercial comes on flaunting hot, sexy, barely clad young women on our big screen, HD TV. These commercials can't be for women--they give men an unrealistic expectation of how women are supposed to look. I think it's like men who like a lot of porn--you can easily become "hooked" on it and I think it changes a guys expectations about sex and intimacy. I think this visual topic could be one on it's own--there are so many threads relating to this under a few different categories.

[lindya]

Please feel free to add examples/catagories to the above. This shoud become an all inclusive standard. It's high time standards were set and put into practice. Once we have properly catagorized "Visual Cheating" we can all move on to "Verbal Cheating".

 

 

What about mutual allergy-sourced infidelity? A description for that situation where your lover and a member of the opposite sex who also happens to be in the room both sneeze at exactly the same time? That's a major red flag. When two people have something like hay fever or allergies in common, it will quickly bring them together - as they deliberately and passive-aggressively exclude their healthier, more robust partners with chatter about effective antihistamines.

 

I have been that cheated-on victim...helplessly watching a partner succumb to the charms of an equally sickly creature while cursing my parents for introducing me to animals, countryside and ample quantities of household dust from an early age and therefore building up my immune system so that I would never know the joy of shooing a friendly dog away in horror while daintily explaining "sorry, but I'm allergic".

[LucreziaBorgia]

I guess what it comes down to is that men will look at things they think look good, and are asthetically pleasing without it having any bearing at all on how they feel about their SO. I think what bothers women really isn't that their guy is looking, but their fear that their guy likes what he is seeing better than he likes his own woman, and they think that their guy secretly is dissatisifed with what he has and wishes his girl looked more like the porn women, the Playboy women, the Maxim girls, etc. What a lot of women fail to realize is that just because a guy looks and likes what he sees, doesn't mean that he doesn't love what he has and doesn't want to lose it.

 

People have 'ideals' in mind when it comes to what they prefer on an asthetic level. A man's ideal woman might be a 20 year old hardbody, with smooth skin, toned physique, lightly tanned skin, long silky hair, etc, but his SO probably doesn't fit that ideal at all. That doesn't mean he doesn't love his SO, and appreciate her for how she is - but that said, it isn't going to stop him from enjoying the pleasures of fantasizing and looking at his ideal type either. Doing so won't affect his feelings for his girlfriend/wife/SO, because his emotional attachment to his gf/w/so is an entirely different thought process than picking up a Maxim and appreciating the barely legal hottie that he happens to see in there.

 

For example, I happen to think Ryan Reynolds (actor) has an ideal body and face. Every time I see him on the cover of Men's Health with his shirt off, I think... yummy! Damn, he's hot! Now, does that mean I don't love my boyfriend? My boyfriend also has a nice body, and a good looking face and I love him. I can't imagine a life without him, in fact. Is that going to stop me from finding Ryan Reynolds hot? Of course not. Its two different things.