New Catagory "Visual Cheating"

[Guest]

"For example, I happen to think Ryan Reynolds (actor) has an ideal body and face. Every time I see him on the cover of Men's Health with his shirt off, I think... yummy! Damn, he's hot! Now, does that mean I don't love my boyfriend? My boyfriend also has a nice body, and a good looking face and I love him. I can't imagine a life without him, in fact. Is that going to stop me from finding Ryan Reynolds hot? Of course not. Its two different things."

 

yes, all you are doing is looking at him and admiring him....

you aren't masturbating to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

dfferent emotional-physical-mental connection there-

very different.

that is what bothers women..

not just looking at to admire what is NOT your SO, but masturbating to them as well. It states that sexually that they want those women too.

[rtHawk]

I think what bothers women really isn't that their guy is looking, but their fear that their guy likes what he is seeing better than he likes his own woman, and they think that their guy secretly is dissatisifed with what he has and wishes his girl looked more like the porn women, the Playboy women, the Maxim girls, etc. What a lot of women fail to realize is that just because a guy looks and likes what he sees, doesn't mean that he doesn't love what he has and doesn't want to lose it.

 

of course at times they do like them better----that is why they are looking!

and we know it! that is what hurts us

he may love what and who he has, but it is the expression of his behaviours that indicate that he desires the other(even if not in person)...who and what he has is just not enough

.

[rtHawk]

just curious as to why you put yourself, as a guy, out on the limb here and state something so anti-male mindset/non-PC.

I mean, really, you are not the first but amongst the very few to make that type of statement but not that common,

I for one, agreee but feel I may do so for very different reasons.

Most of my friends agree that it would be hard on a gf/wife if he looked at porn, even damage their relationship

 

Reasons that I can think of right now are

1. that it would just plain hurt her (as it would me too).

2. there is an addiction factor

3. tends to make a guy hunger after some imaginary creature (who would probably kick him to the curb anyway)

 

Porn isn't really helpful ...

Other than getting a few more ideas of things to try ... but I guess you can get that stuff from a book at Barns & Noble - the wife would probably go get one for him

 

To me porn is something that can be stopped. And she'll be happier for it ... so extreme is this truth (to me) that I think a guy would be a real a**hole to try to hang on to his stash if he knows it hurts her. I'm also convinced that girls who "say" it's OK ... most of them are afraid to lose him and they just stifle and suffer.

[Trialbyfire]

What about mutual allergy-sourced infidelity? A description for that situation where your lover and a member of the opposite sex who also happens to be in the room both sneeze at exactly the same time? That's a major red flag. When two people have something like hay fever or allergies in common, it will quickly bring them together - as they deliberately and passive-aggressively exclude their healthier, more robust partners with chatter about effective antihistamines.

 

I have been that cheated-on victim...helplessly watching a partner succumb to the charms of an equally sickly creature while cursing my parents for introducing me to animals, countryside and ample quantities of household dust from an early age and therefore building up my immune system so that I would never know the joy of shooing a friendly dog away in horror while daintily explaining "sorry, but I'm allergic".

 

Sometimes people can't help who they co-sneeze with. As long as they try not to blow their noses at the same time, they haven't crossed the line very far. I recommend that you keep your eyes open for co-sneezing patterns and especially, the sharing of the same bottle of anti-histamines. That to me is far too intimate and completely unacceptable behaviour.

[Zona76]

I'm not disgusted with nudity. I would likely be more involved in watching porn if my husband enjoyed doing so.

We can look at nudity and not be ravaged with desire.

Nudity is lovely. The body is quite an incredible work of art.

There are those who take it too far. However if you think that your man jacking off to a porn flick means he desires that woman... you know nothing.

There is a difference between fantasy, and desire. Between wanting and fulfilling toward action.

I know where my husband sleeps. I know where he is. I have no fears he wants or desires another.

I keep my man WAY too busy to let his mind wander to wanting to touch another.

For the most part, humans are monogamous. The idea of actually having physical contact with another is disgusting.

But to look? We don't distrust each other to think either would stray.

[rtHawk]

Nudity is lovely. The body is quite an incredible work of art.

 

Very true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when we go to the nude beaches --you see all kinds of people. young, old, lean, heavier, hairy, sagging, full bush, pot bellies, man boobs, in shape..

THAT IS NUDITY AND LOVELY!

Porn is not about nudity! It is about an acted out (ever so badly) sex acts.

with mostly non realistic people.

boob implants, anal bleached, labioplasty, abdominoplasty, etc etc etc..

that is not nudity, that is some commericialized and dsitorted idea of nudity and unrealistic beauty!

[Flyin in Clouds]

I....

Obviously, if a man looks at a woman other than his SO more than casually, it's "Visual Cheating".

 

If a man looks at pornography, it's "Visual Cheating."......

 

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

That's a good one Lakeside...

 

I wouldn't say my bf cheats on me if he looked at porn or something, but it definitely is NOT something I want him doing. If he's with me then he's with me. I don't look at naked men. I don't want him looking at naked women. Period. If I found out he did, I wouldn't want to be with him.

I think you'll be pretty lonely...

 

No one likes their SO looking at someone else--I, personally, am deeply hurt by it,

Yeah, it hurts me when my wife looks a Nicolas Cage movie. She thinks he's hot. Personally I don't see it... And then my mother had a poster of Paul Newman taped to the window blind by her bed...

 

I've been married almost 23 years. It's so nice when you've been committed for so long and your husband and his buddies think that "guy" fun has to consist of a strip club and teenage strippers.

Coolidge Effect - google it.

 

I love it when I'm watching a show with my husband and a Victoria's Secret commercial comes on flaunting hot, sexy, barely clad young women on our big screen, HD TV.

Well I know I love it. But what really pisses me off is my wife won't go to VS and buy any sexy bras or panties.

 

These commercials can't be for women--they give men an unrealistic expectation of how women are supposed to look.

Nothing unrealistic about it all, IF you put down the donuts and get to the gym once in a while.

 

I think what bothers women really isn't that their guy is looking, but their fear that their guy likes what he is seeing better than he likes his own woman,

Bingo... my wife said all I was thinking about was the VS model.... NO HONEY. What I was trying to imagine is what you might look like if you put on sexy duds. Some thigh highs, sheer panties, a sexy bra instead of the white granny panties and bra... and I'm supposed to get exicted over white granny panties and sloppy sweat shirts and dresses that show not one bit of skin?

 

I guess my wife doesn't want me to visually cheat even with her!

 

I happen to think Ryan Reynolds (actor) has an ideal body and face. Every time I see him on the cover of Men's Health with his shirt off, I think... yummy! Damn, he's hot! Now, does that mean I don't love my boyfriend? My boyfriend also has a nice body, and a good looking face and I love him.

I'm so glad at least one women a will admit to being visually turned on at least a little.

 

of course at times they do like them better----that is why they are looking!

and we know it! that is what hurts us

he may love what and who he has, but it is the expression of his behaviours that indicate that he desires the other(even if not in person)...who and what he has is just not enough

You really do need to read up on the Coolidge Effect. It's biology.

 

Can I be honest without be shot to peices (probably not).

 

In a "perfect" world, one without fear of STDs, and one that wasn't all hung up on monogamy (due manly to concerns over "legitimacy" and unwanted pregnancies), one where sex was just a pleasure to be enjoyed, and having sex with one woman didn't mean I didn't care for another woman just as much... yes, I'd like to have sex with just about every woman I've ever met. That could be ever exhausting though.

[green-eyed beauty]

I feel that it's disrespectful when you are with your partner to leer at a member of the opposite sex. If you happen to see someone attractive, don't stare, and follow them as they move. It's very controllable. I wouldn't even imagine staring or leering or following a man with my eyes when I was with a boyfriend/date/SO. Doing so is simply disrespectful and rude. Luckily I've never had a problem with that.

I was out with my now exbf last summer, and we were with another couple, his friends who are married. His friend said, right in the middle of our conversation (directed to his wife), "She's pretty." His wife looked at him and said "Oh, umm, I didn't even really notice." (Personally I didn't think she was that pretty, but whatever.)

Anyway, I didn't understand the point of him pointing that out to her. I understand appreciating beauty, but why make a point of interrupting a group conversation to let his wife know, in front of other friends, that he found the server attractive. ICK. It just seemed like he was trying to humiliate her or something, I really felt badly.

Anyway....my point is it is a matter of respect. You are with your partner, you don't need to stare or gawk at other women/men. It's simply disrespectful and rude.

[rtHawk]

I've been married almost 23 years. It's so nice when you've been committed for so long and your husband and his buddies think that "guy" fun has to consist of a strip club and teenage strippers. Coolidge Effect - google it.

 

does the coolidge effect justify hurting your SO; with teenage strippers?

These commercials can't be for women--they give men an unrealistic expectation of how women are supposed to look. Nothing unrealistic about it all, IF you put down the donuts and get to the gym once in a while.

 

It is extremely unrealistic as the average woman is NOT 6 ft tall, with long legs, with $ to pay for a physcial trainer, nutrionist, spa treatments, all the nice clothes and trinkets, for a dermatologist to do facial treatments, and for a make up artist and trips and travel to unwind.

Most women have full time jobs, children, run around with kids. errands. school, work, bills and then some and then fall asleep exhausted...

that is reality--not some VS models for the sale of some bras and underwear which are highly overrated anyway!

 

I'm so glad at least one women a will admit to being visually turned on at least a little.

why admit to something some women don't feel for anyone else but their SO?

You really do need to read up on the Coolidge Effect. It's biology.

for women, the biological need is for procreation and the continuity of the species...

we so though live in advanced technology and sophistication (albeit selfish, self-centered, self-serving and all about self-gratification)

otherwise, according to biology, we'd be pregnant every year

 

primal urges--- Yawn!

[LoveLace]

I don't believe in "visual cheating" because everybody looks; I don't have a boyfriend but if I've dated men and had them look at porn mags, etc right in front of me and I don't care for the most part. But I'm with a guy that keeps looking at other women while with me, I feel disrespected.

[rainfall]

I don't believe in "visual cheating" because everybody looks; I don't have a boyfriend but if I've dated men and had them look at porn mags, etc right in front of me and I don't care for the most part. But I'm with a guy that keeps looking at other women while with me, I feel disrespected.

 

Seeing something and thinking they are attractive is very different then looking at someone and thinking sexual thoughts. They don't always go together. Yeah maybe everyone finds other people attractive, but not everyone has sexual thought about random people.

[LoveLace]

Seeing something and thinking they are attractive is very different then looking at someone and thinking sexual thoughts. They don't always go together. Yeah maybe everyone finds other people attractive, but not everyone has sexual thought about random people.

 

It's not that I care if a hot chick walks by and my boyfriend checks her out. I'm talking about doing this excessively while he's with me. Without me, he can look and think about whatever he wants. But if he takes it too far while he's with me, I don't care if his thoughts are about sex or not; a guy should be able to control his hormones for a girl he really likes. Same goes for women.

[rainfall]

It's not that I care if a hot chick walks by and my boyfriend checks her out. I'm talking about doing this excessively while he's with me. Without me, he can look and think about whatever he wants. But if he takes it too far while he's with me, I don't care if his thoughts are about sex or not; a guy should be able to control his hormones for a girl he really likes. Same goes for women.

 

I agree with what you are saying. I guess I misunderstood what you meant. I though you were sayin everyone checks out people in a sexual way which I don't find to be true.

[Miss Jane]

Flyin in Clouds:

 

Well I know I love it. But what really pisses me off is my wife won't go to VS and buy any sexy bras or panties.

The commercials only make women feel insecure and pressured to look like that for their SO's. I fell for it--I did buy sexy bras and panties from them. Of course, they don't look the same on me--thus, my comment about the commercials giving men unrealistic expectations. And I think most women certainly wouldn't mind looking like a VS model and be the only sexual fantasy of their SO--that's why I think they only make women insecure. Maybe your wife won't buy them because she knows she wouldn't look like what you're looking at in the commercials. How many women do? And has she had kids? All that does is totally ruin the body. And no one can be young forever! Even Gisele is being replaced by younger up and comers--ouch.

 

Nothing unrealistic about it all, IF you put down the donuts and get to the gym once in a while.

 

I don't eat donuts. Why do you assume I'm overweight and out of shape? I'm not. I look very young for my age, am "hot", I do wear sexy underthings, etc. I'm 48 and my insecurities probably stem from my waning youth and the recent disclosure of my husband's strip club/lap dance experience.

 

Do you eat donuts?

[Trialbyfire]

I have a question for all you ladies and gents that believe in "visual cheating". While I'm no porn fan, my position is that I don't believe it's cheating.

 

Can you ladies/gents differentiate between fantasy and reality? If you can, why can't your mates?

[rainfall]

I have a question for all you ladies and gents that believe in "visual cheating". While I'm no porn fan, my position is that I don't believe it's cheating.

 

Can you ladies/gents differentiate between fantasy and reality? If you can, why can't your mates?

 

Because my fantasies don't involve sexual acts with someone besides my partner.

I fantasize about things such as winning the lottery or some how never having to work again..... not having sex with some random hot guy.

[rtHawk]

Trialbyfire I have a question for all you ladies and gents that believe in "visual cheating". While I'm no porn fan, my position is that I don't believe it's cheating.

 

Can you ladies/gents differentiate between fantasy and reality? If you can, why can't your mates?Because my fantasies don't involve sexual acts with someone besides my partner.

I fantasize about things such as winning the lottery or some how never having to work again..... not having sex with some random hot guy.

 

Albeit maybe unrealisitc, we can't control what another person thinks, but too me porn is like cheating (tho I will take that over the actual as I have experienced that --and that is life long damaging!)

 

Lord of the Rings, one of my fav movies; a fantasy--

I am not masturbating, fantasizing to it or the actors in it.. they are not immersed in sexual (even if porn is just badly acted out sex acts) intimacies

 

porn is about sex, about masurbation, about acted out sex created by some porn industry of ideal women, ideal sex, ideal and distorted sex etc.

it may be a fantasy but those are still real (surgically altered ehnance, digitialized, labioplasty, abdominoplasty, boob job, etc etc etc) people trying to act them out

and there is a direct connection to masturbation and the release of oxytocin--a hormone that causes bonding in humans; such that there is, no matter how any one disagrees, the porn/masturbation is a connection--biophysiological...

 

you masturbate to porn, you CHOOSE it, you connect with it on a very neurochemical level....

 

so, yes, the connection tho not physical, is still a mindful type of indiscretion--"cheating" have you.

IMO and not just mine but in lots and lots of women--

the reason for a million posts not just here but everywhere....

and millions of hits to these specifi posts.

but this is how I feel about my partner and his porn--I have no ? or care if you, your SO etc enjoy it, that is strictly your business..

 

can my mate differientiate fantasy and reality--sure can

does it matter to me that it is fantasy-porn-- ??

yes... for the above reasons..

 

his mindful and independently thought out fantasies, dont' bother me...

those are his--not some porn industries $ making creation.

They are fleeting and not a crotch in your face dvd/movie screen played over and over.

[Herzen]

When the threshold for cheating lowers to the point where "if I perceive you as cheating, then you're cheating," regardless of the mild nature of the perceived offense, when perception becomes reality and reality perception, then we're all cheaters. And no one is a cheater.

 

The concept of cheating becomes a means of control and manipulation by one partner over another. Paranoia and insecurity are dressed up as a sincere desire for "fidelity" in all aspects of life. At that point, tyrannical "virtue" hides a mental illness or is simply a tool of control. At that point, it's time to exit. I don't enjoy people with delusional disorders, not even "moral" ones.

[Trialbyfire]

rainfall and rtHawk,

I'm confused once again. What's the difference between fantasizing about sex, vast amounts of money or LOTR? Every single emotion or "feeling" you have is biochemical. If you enjoy watching a LOTR movie or enjoy fantasizing about money, your brain and body are reacting as such. It produces "feel good" biochemicals.

 

To take visual cheating a little further, what happens if your men quit watching porn but retain mental images in their minds about these fantasy women. Would this be considered cheating? If so, how would you know and how would you control your men at that point?

 

Again, I will state that I'm not porn fan. It does nothing for me but I don't care if someone casually views it, as long as it's not an addiction. The reason I don't consider it cheating is that there's no interaction between individuals.

[lindya]

I was out with my now exbf last summer, and we were with another couple, his friends who are married. His friend said, right in the middle of our conversation (directed to his wife), "She's pretty." His wife looked at him and said "Oh, umm, I didn't even really notice." (Personally I didn't think she was that pretty, but whatever.)

Anyway, I didn't understand the point of him pointing that out to her. I understand appreciating beauty, but why make a point of interrupting a group conversation to let his wife know, in front of other friends, that he found the server attractive. ICK. It just seemed like he was trying to humiliate her or something, I really felt badly.

Anyway....my point is it is a matter of respect. You are with your partner, you don't need to stare or gawk at other women/men. It's simply disrespectful and rude.

 

I'd also see that guy's behaviour as being a deliberate attempt to wind his wife up. I can't imagine being out with a guy and pointing out other guys to say "he's hot." I wouldn't even do that in the company of platonic male friends.

 

Blatant leering is also disrespectful. I tend to see that kind of behaviour as the tip of what is probably an enormous iceberg of disrespect. On the other hand, sometimes a stranger can walk by who is so stunningly gorgeous that glancing at them is a knee-jerk reaction. I don't mind if a guy I'm with takes a look - but there's no need to make a meal of it.

 

You get these "moments" in life where a person is having their shot in the limelight and carrying it off with grace, panache and general gorgeousness. It's fun to watch those moments - and I'd hate for any guy I was with to feel that he was obliged to continually shut his eyes and ears to all of them and focus purely on me. Some of the more extreme reactions against boyfriends looking at other women, and the idea that it equates with cheating, sound like a recipe for continual unhappiness.

[rtHawk]

Trialbyfire rainfall and rtHawk,

I'm confused once again. What's the difference between fantasizing about sex, vast amounts of money or LOTR? Every single emotion or "feeling" you have is biochemical. If you enjoy watching a LOTR movie or enjoy fantasizing about money, your brain and body are reacting as such. It produces "feel good" biochemicals.

 

To take visual cheating a little further, what happens if your men quit watching porn but retain mental images in their minds about these fantasy women. Would this be considered cheating? If so, how would you know and how would you control your men at that point?

 

Again, I will state that I'm not porn fan. It does nothing for me but I don't care if someone casually views it, as long as it's not an addiction. The reason I don't consider it cheating is that there's no interaction between individuals.

 

You make very valid points TBF!

but I don't fantasize about the movies, or who is in them; I watch the story nothing more.

the feel good emotions that come with watching a movie DO NOT involve your own physical involvment/your own bio/neuro chemicals vis a vis masturbation to it/them.... altthough there is no actual physical contact, there is a very real physical act that occurs and that is the connection, the thing that fuels the release of biochemicasl.... and formulates the bond.

Why is so difficult for men to give up porn if it is such a non-bonding activity???

now mind you. there is a level of which I refer to addictive; not in the sense that it is like cocaine and replaces the brains own lock and key transmittors but in that the fact that they can not give it up even when they are asked to by a SO who finds it hurtful etc whatever...

just can't stop it.

Me, if my SO was troubled by my watching some movie that I actaully masturbated to and asked me to stop----NO PROBLEM!

 

I don't really fantasize about much of anything.. I have a very active imagination, and my sexual fantasies are about my SO--no one else... it doesn't do anything for me to do so or watch porn.

I don't get watching porn when I would rather have sex and intimacy myself.. it does nothing at all for me. Masturbation for me is all about my guy; it is all I need or want.

 

I don't claim to want or need to be mind police...

so, what or who he thinks of is not for me to guard; but thoughts are fleeting, less specific, less detail oriented, they are transient.

Porn is all about close-up, detail, and extended play over of sex acts that become opportunity for saving, stashing, keeping, hoarding, watching over an over as if it was some sort of treasure

can't help but think of Gollum and his "precious"..

seems the same for some men/persons and their porn. It has a strong hold.

 

Whereas Sex, and all it encompasses is all about intimacy for me.-

not fantasy.

My partner's masturbatory fodder, if it is porn and not one or our videos,(he seems to have stopped whatcing those which reinforces my feelings) becomes more of an unrealistic concept, idea, support that sex is just an act with unrealistic porn sluts.

for me ,it is not, it is much more.

 

Again, I will say, porn is still preferred over being cheated on by actual physical contact...and so,

 

in my reality, and in my perception, being cheated on isn't about a concept of contol or insecurity..

but more a lack of someone else's self-control and entitlement.

[rtHawk]

'd also see that guy's behaviour as being a deliberate attempt to wind his wife up. I can't imagine being out with a guy and pointing out other guys to say "he's hot." I wouldn't even do that in the company of platonic male friends.

 

Blatant leering is also disrespectful. I tend to see that kind of behaviour as the tip of what is probably an enormous iceberg of disrespect. On the other hand, sometimes a stranger can walk by who is so stunningly gorgeous that glancing at them is a knee-jerk reaction. I don't mind if a guy I'm with takes a look - but there's no need to make a meal of it.

 

You get these "moments" in life where a person is having their shot in the limelight and carrying it off with grace, panache and general gorgeousness. It's fun to watch those moments - and I'd hate for any guy I was with to feel that he was obliged to continually shut his eyes and ears to all of them and focus purely on me. Some of the more extreme reactions against boyfriends looking at other women, and the idea that it equates with cheating, sound like a recipe for continual unhappiness.

 

WOW that was most eloquently and honestly stated; both full of understanding and insight!!!!!!!

[Trialbyfire]

My partner's masturbatory fodder, if it is porn and not one or our videos,(he seems to have stopped whatcing those which reinforces my feelings) becomes more of an unrealistic concept, idea, support that sex is just an act with unrealistic porn sluts.

But rtHawk, this is exactly it. It's pure fantasy to these guys. Masturbation is about self-pleasuring. No one else is touching your man. He is touching himself. There is no emotional, mental or physical interaction between the object of fantasy and your man. Porn women are objects. I sincerely doubt these guys are interested in having an intellectual or soft-emotional conversation with these objects.

 

If you think about LOTR, there's a ton of female eye-candy in that movie. While you may not masturbate to it, please don't tell me you don't find some of these men appealing. If so, are you also not visual cheating by finding another attractive?

[Herzen]

Studies have shown that heterosexual males are hard wired to be attracted to the female form. That's our biological nature. Men in relationships need not don blinders to shield themselves from female beauty and the resultant arousal in order to placate the neurotic insecurities and wild anxieties of a lover or spouse.

 

That's not fidelity; it's domination, or manipulation.

 

Love ought not require erotic death, or blindness.

[rtHawk]

'.But rtHawk, this is exactly it. It's pure fantasy to these guys. Masturbation is about self-pleasuring. No one else is touching your man. He is touching himself. There is no emotional, mental or physical interaction between the object of fantasy and your man. Porn women are objects. I sincerely doubt these guys are interested in having an intellectual or soft-emotional conversation with these objects.

 

If you think about LOTR, there's a ton of female eye-candy in that movie. While you may not masturbate to it, please don't tell me you don't find some of these men appealing. If so, are you also not visual cheating by finding another attractive?

 

TBF;

you are a good fisherwoman!

I bit the bait, but let it go as it is still across the double yellow line-

I can buy that it isn't actual physical cheating!

It is tho the active seeking out of other women and becoming aroused by thme, their face, their eyes, their lips , their bodies and their body parts to become aroused by and in turn have sexual connection with...

that is the difference for me

LOTR - they are handsome men who portray characters... I am not sexually aroused by them and I do not seek them out for that purpose. They are in fact still real people.

Porn, they are objects yes, but still real women who are sought out for the purpose of fullfulling sexual arousal.

 

so, maybe not cheating, but innappropriate in a committed relationship for me.

I have not and do not make this an issue with my guy, I only mentioned something about it twice in 6 years, but it remains my silent (but for here) angst.

 

Studies have shown that heterosexual males are hard wired to be attracted to the female form. That's our biological nature. Men in relationships need not don blinders to shield themselves from female beauty and the resultant arousal in order to placate the neurotic insecurities and wild anxieties of a lover or spouse.

 

That's not fidelity; it's domination, or manipulation.

 

Love ought not require erotic death, or blindness.

 

It is also well known that women are hard wired to procreate and reproduce; according to STUDIES, but that doesn't mean we continue to get pregnant every year.

Studies also show humans not necessarily to be monogamous, maybe in order to fulfill or biological nature, we should also all go about and practice polygamy and denounce the sanctitiy of a committed relationship.

 

fidelty is about compromise, committent, not about selfish, self-centered self-gratificaton.

 

Love is about as much about committment as it is about erotic exploration with one's SO... your lover and or your SO can be the source of that.

there is no domination or manipulation there.--equal respect.

 

don't question my fidelity or my psycholgical wellbeing because it doesn't suit your male-ego or need for control and power .

 

 

 

 

 

neuroses, insecurities and wild anxieities....

always the fall back and stand by justification for the lack of empathy and mindful willingness to excuse one's biological primal urge---