I want more than friends but,...

[Rob]

I met my good friend's sister about a year ago and during that time she had a live-in boyfriend. 6 months later we met again, and I didn't ever think of her as more than an acquaintance before she invited me to her boyfriends house where we drank a few brews and got to know each other. But her boyfriend was there the whole time and I thought he was a nice guy.

 

Her boyfriend soon moved away to another state but we continued to hang out often and eventually, I began seeing her as something special. And I knew I liked her when I went home for Thanksgiving. Here I sat on the dinner table with my family, but all I could think about was my sweet redhead. We have become close during these past few weeks but I want more. But fear has taken over. As I speak to her the words flow out, but my mind continues to think of a way to tell her my true feelings. The risk of losing our friendship is my fear. Sometimes I thinks she feels the same way, the way she looks at me and laughs at my corny jokes but I question it daily. Her brother said, "Your barking up the wrong tree buddy" but I'm a gambler and I can't believe that. Is this love? Because if it isn't,love must be 10 times greater than I had imagined. But it can't be love because I've never touched her. Only a goodbye hug and the time we just slept on the couch together and maybe that look she gives me sprinkled with what seems like emotion. Should I call her and say, "Would you like to go on a real date with me?" Or just lean over and kiss her? Or just tell her flat out that I see her as a special girl. An endangered species. Someone I want to be close to. I want her so bad it hurts. I don't want to shatter our friendship, but I feel the need to tell her my true feelings.

 

What signs of an attraction to me, should I look for? How can I approach it? Do I need to stop hiding in the trenches and get some real guts? Somebody please help. Thanks.

[Isabele]

You know that they say the best relationships begin as friendship, so you're off to a good start.

 

Could it be love and you've never touched her...sure it can. We can love people we barely know much about, but a deeper love comes from a deeper relationship, understanding, and appreciation, it takes time. But I say a good start to building up to that deeper love is telling her how you feel. Do I think you should plant one on her? No. You don't want to offend her by what she may perceive as aggressiveness. Ask her out! What a better way to find out if there is interest there. If she says "yes" then you're good to go, if not, then express to her your desire to remain friends, and assure her that you will be happy with a friendship.

 

How do you tell if she likes you? Does she look at you intently? Does she pay you a lot of attention? Does she hint about wanting a "good" man or relationship? Does she ask you about how you perceive a good relationship to be? Whats your ideal woman? And most importantly, Do you want a family one day? That's a huge hint!

 

I ( and the creators of Successories) say, "You can not discover new oceans until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore." Go for it! If nothing more, you could wind up with a friend for life.

 

Good Luck

I met my good friend's sister about a year ago and during that time she had a live-in boyfriend. 6 months later we met again, and I didn't ever think of her as more than an acquaintance before she invited me to her boyfriends house where we drank a few brews and got to know each other. But her boyfriend was there the whole time and I thought he was a nice guy. Her boyfriend soon moved away to another state but we continued to hang out often and eventually, I began seeing her as something special. And I knew I liked her when I went home for Thanksgiving. Here I sat on the dinner table with my family, but all I could think about was my sweet redhead. We have become close during these past few weeks but I want more. But fear has taken over. As I speak to her the words flow out, but my mind continues to think of a way to tell her my true feelings. The risk of losing our friendship is my fear. Sometimes I thinks she feels the same way, the way she looks at me and laughs at my corny jokes but I question it daily. Her brother said, "Your barking up the wrong tree buddy" but I'm a gambler and I can't believe that. Is this love? Because if it isn't,love must be 10 times greater than I had imagined. But it can't be love because I've never touched her. Only a goodbye hug and the time we just slept on the couch together and maybe that look she gives me sprinkled with what seems like emotion. Should I call her and say, "Would you like to go on a real date with me?" Or just lean over and kiss her? Or just tell her flat out that I see her as a special girl. An endangered species. Someone I want to be close to. I want her so bad it hurts. I don't want to shatter our friendship, but I feel the need to tell her my true feelings. What signs of an attraction to me, should I look for? How can I approach it? Do I need to stop hiding in the trenches and get some real guts? Somebody please help. Thanks.