Frustration with my friends denial

[Pink Amulet]

I will keep it short.

 

A close friend is losing drastic amounts of weight.

 

She dances constantly, works out at the gym, and does Pilates.

 

She is currently 46 kilograms (100 lb) and 166 centimeters (5.5 ft) tall.

 

Very underweight by most standards.

 

Yet, she refuses to hear it.

 

She doesn't think she is fat, but she does think she is healthy.

 

Over-doing cardio and eating one punnet of strawberries is not healthy in my books.

 

I feel I have exhausted my options.

 

How do you make an anorexic wake up to herself and get help?

 

I have included some before and after shots.

 

Taken in January this year:

 

http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/5636/dannicut1si4.jpg

 

Taken last week:

 

http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/6585/dannicut2rf1.jpg

 

[Poboy]

give her material to read about anorexia and the eventual outcomes for the same ( include visuals )

if that doesnt work , take her to a GP or a hospital where they treat eating disorders

[allina]

People with eating disorders are impossible to reach out to, they won't hear it. Actually when you say to an anorexic "omg you're way too thin" they will view it as a positive and feel proud. It's a really f*cked thing to deal with and there is nothing you can do.

[burning 4 revenge]

I have to confess I prefer the aftershot. A small woman makes my penis feel bigger.

[Enema]

I don't think you'll break through to her yourself.

 

At any rate her BMI is 16.7.

Normal weight range = 18.5-24.9.

 

Your best bet is to give me her phone number and I'll see what I can do

[Art_Critic]

I have to confess I prefer the aftershot. A small woman makes my penis feel bigger.

 

No pun intended ?

 

PA..

 

Big change.. She seems scary thin..

What does her family think of her weight loss ?

Her family has a better chance of reaching out to her than you do..

[whichwayisup]

Her family has a better chance of reaching out to her than you do..

I agree. And if she is in denial, she won't listen to you at all. Her parents on the otherhand (if necessary) can go to court and MAKE her get into a hospital so she can fight the anorexa, and have therapy.

 

What happened in her life that led her to so quickly lose so much weight? Or has she always been this way? Just wondering if it's relationship related, depression, or something from her past that is upsetting her now?

 

Talk to her family. Even do an invention if it comes to that.

[Trialbyfire]

Keep in mind that in the first pic she's relaxed with a tank top on, and in the second pic, she's sucked in her stomach which has caused an exaggeration of her ribs and increased size of her chest cavity.

 

Based on the stats you've provided though, she's still below normal or healthy. I don't know what her stats were in January but if they've dropped significantly, it can't be too healthy, regardless of the exercise.

 

Here's an article from Psychology Today that discusses both anorexia and bulimia. It's a very limited article but it mentions that both issues should be treated as addictions and countered as such.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-19950301-000008.html

 

This is the list of articles that came up by doing a search on psychologytoday. Maybe one of the other articles might help more.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/search/search.cgi?q=anorexia

 

Good luck.

[whichwayisup]

eating one punnet of strawberries

 

This is all she eats a day? Strawberries?

[This_Too_Shall_Pass]

I don't see that much of a difference between the two pics. Her arm is the same size, in both pics.

 

I also don't think she weighs 100 lbs...no way. She would have her bones sticking out if she is 100 lbs at 5'5". She seems no more thinner than a lot of celebs. Anorexic people look different.

 

PA, if she does have an eating disorder, please take her to a psychotherapist or some other competent authority who can treat her. That's the best you can do for her.

[Pink Amulet]

Thanks.

 

Well I will be honest, she was just at my house, and the previous pic really doesn't demonstrate how skeleton-thin she is.

 

We had dance practice and as we have to put our weights on out dance profiles we all weighed in, she is now 44.5 (kilograms) 97 (lb).

 

Now we are all quite petite, I am 172cm (5.6 ft) and weigh 57kg (127 lb) so even by slightly smaller standards, she is ridiculously thin.

 

Trial- the frightening thing is, she wasn't sucking it at all in that picture, and if she was she must be doing it all the time because even with clothes on her ribs are protruding.

 

WWIU- She claims to hate food and only enjoys eating a punnet of strawberries a day (strawberries as you know are low in calories) and the occassional glass of *low fat* milk.

 

For those who suggested family intervention, I feel the need to mention this poor girl was sexually abused by both her father at a young age and was put in to foster care as her mother went off the rails. She know lives independently with a couple of friends and has little or no extended family support.

 

I feel I have exhausted all options. I have taken her to GP's, counsellors, therapists, hypnotherapists driven her to appointments with dieticians and even tried to force feed her.

 

She just laughs it off and says "I am depressed right now- eating really isn't on my mind. I will start eating when I feel better on the inside".

 

*sigh*

 

I feel I can do no more.

 

I spent two and a half years coping with my best friends meth addiction, I just don't think I can go through another two and a half years of counselling someone who just won't listen.

 

At the end of the day, one person can only do so much.

[Pink Amulet]

I agree. And if she is in denial, she won't listen to you at all. Her parents on the otherhand (if necessary) can go to court and MAKE her get into a hospital so she can fight the anorexa, and have therapy.

 

What happened in her life that led her to so quickly lose so much weight? Or has she always been this way? Just wondering if it's relationship related, depression, or something from her past that is upsetting her now?

 

Talk to her family. Even do an invention if it comes to that.

 

Besides have a very difficult childhood which she says she has supposedly dealt with through counselling, she was dumped by a guy around the time we noticed her eating habbits change.

 

She took the break up badly, and as he left her for someone else, her self-esteem diminished and she became seemingly obsessed with achieving and unrealistic standard of perfection.

 

She began entering bikini contests, and dating idiots.

 

I would assume in an effort to find some shallow ground for self-worth.

[Pink Amulet]

I just had a look at her profile and she is actually 164 cm (5.3 ft).

 

She is still too thin for even that height

 

I wish I could show you all her face.

 

It shows it more than anything.

 

She just looks sick.

[Trialbyfire]

That's not so bad. I weight about the same as she does when I get sick with a nasty flu bug and I'm her height. It usually takes me about 6 months to regain the 10 lbs again, where I normally sit. While it's fairly thin, it's not so bad, although her eating habits are a concern.

 

You can try to help her because you care but you can't take responsibility for her.

[Star Gazer]

I know you whited out her face and everything, but if I ever came across pictures of myself on a thread like this one I would be absolutely mortified.

 

In college, PA, I was your present height and weight. My then-roommate was an NBA dancer and was your friend's weight and height, and looked very similar in her dance pictures... but I assure you she wasn't anorexic.

 

I know what anorexia looks like...it's very obvious in the clavicle and hip bones. Your friend's body doesn't look like that. Yes, her ribs protrude...but at 5'4'' and 135 pounds MY ribs protrude, and I've got a serious pooch goin' on.

[Krytellan]

at 5'4'' and 135 pounds MY ribs protrude, and I've got a serious pooch goin' on.

*giggle* Tis nice to be back

[allina]

Anorexia isn't just about how underweight you are it's a mental disorder. You don't have to be sickly thin looking to have it.

[mental_traveller]

In my experience, people who are following a damaging course of action will not listen to advice. I would just keep quiet and let her realise herself.

[mental_traveller]

 

I feel I have exhausted all options. I have taken her to GP's, counsellors, therapists, hypnotherapists driven her to appointments with dieticians and even tried to force feed her.

 

This is the problem, you nagged her. She definitely won't listen to you now, every time you mention the issue it will just push her further down that path. Best to never mention the subject again and let her find her own way.

[sunshinegirl]

Have you read up on eating disorders online? I have to believe there are resources for people whose loved ones have disordered eating patterns. (Look up the National Eating Disorders Association, for starters.)

 

Someone else nailed it though, when they said that it's good of you to care for her but you cannot take responsibility for her. While it is probably heartbreaking to sit by and watch someone you love go down a self-destructive path, it is sadly true that you can only do so much.

 

Good luck.

[Teddy and Jane]

If all she is eating is strawberries and sometimes a glass of milk a day, there is something wrong. She looks thin to me in the first pic, I wouldn't want to be any thinner than that. Also you might want to tell her to rethink the platinum blond hair color and stop the fake tanning. In January her body and hair looked much more beautiful.

[Pink Amulet]

Yes, I agree T&J.

 

She is in hospital now.

 

She apparently passed out at a nightclub last night.

 

Starvation anf dehydration will do that too you.

 

I just spoke to a friend who said she is on an IV drip and will be on some kind of high calorie sustagen diet.

 

I am not sure how long they plan on keeping her there.

 

Regardless, I am glad she now has had some medical intervention but what she really needs is some constant psychological help. I am sure our hospital system will not provide that for her upon her release.

[SadandConfusedWA]

How is your friend doing PA?

 

I can't beleive people saying that she doesn't look too skinny in the second pic. To me she looks perfect in the first one and looks skeletal and shocking now.

[sb129]

If all she is eating is strawberries and sometimes a glass of milk a day, there is something wrong.

 

Thats what I thought. Looking at all the different factors i would say she definitely has an eating disorder. I feel really sorry for her poor thing, she needs some love!

 

She is in hospital now.

 

She apparently passed out at a nightclub last night.

 

Starvation anf dehydration will do that too you.

 

I just spoke to a friend who said she is on an IV drip and will be on some kind of high calorie sustagen diet.

 

I am not sure how long they plan on keeping her there.

 

Regardless, I am glad she now has had some medical intervention but what she really needs is some constant psychological help. I am sure our hospital system will not provide that for her upon her release.

 

They might if they recognise that she has an eating disorder, which is likely. People pick up on these things more now, and most hospitals have a psychological service. Services for anorexia are notoriously understaffed and underfunded though.

[Pink Amulet]

Yes.

 

Not much help for her.

 

They released here, with some brochures and the number of a counsellor.

 

She is coming to dancing tonight.

 

I will let you know how it goes.