thelittlespoon Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 1/2 years now. We decided to move in together a year ago, and things have been going really well. I am 25 and still in college, and my boyfriend is 24 and new in his career. We are both very happy and in love and have a very healthy relationship, which we are enjoying more and more as time goes on. We DO have plans to become engaged around the 3-3 1/2 year mark... but we now have a problem... My boyfriend's cousin proposed to his girlfriend right before Christmas, and being that they have been dating only a month longer than us, now WE are getting the pressure from his family to take the next step, and it's really very frustrating. Now, I don't know the whole story behind their engagement, but I know that the girlfriend was on him about getting engaged for a while beforehand (his aunt had mentioned it last summer), and that her parents would not let them live together prior to getting married. Well, being that bf and I are adults, I feel that we have the right to make decisions that benefit us as a couple on our own terms. I'm tired of the badgering from everyone else! I'm sorry, but not everyone is ready to walk down the aisle after 2 years of dating. Everyone in his family has gotten married relatively early in their relationships. My parents didn't get engaged until 4 years into their relationship, and were also a little older when they married (mom was 29, dad was 34). I see nothing wrong with waiting a year or two longer to take the next step. We are both still very young, and neither one of us is in a rush to have children either (which is another issue we seem to be getting pressure on from his family). We have already decided that we don't even want to try for children until we are in our early 30's. I am just beyond frustrated with all of the crap that they give us, that it's gotten to the point that I try to avoid going to his family outings because of it, but I know that I cannot hide out forever. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to politely, but firmly, respond to the marriage questions? I don't want to sound like a bitch to his family, but they really need to mind their own business. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 Well, being that bf and I are adults, I feel that we have the right to make decisions that benefit us as a couple on our own terms. I'm tired of the badgering from everyone else! This is nobody's business but yours. Be firm and tell them that you both want to do what you both feel is right for both of you... they'll get the message. and if they don't, then your bf should be the one to talk to them...it's his family... otherwise you can be 'seen' as the bitchy type... Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 Just respond, "Not for awhile yet, and all this pressure makes us want to take it even slower to make sure we are doing it for the right reasons, ya know?" Link to post Share on other sites
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