Are Divorces Harder on Men and Why

[Pyro]

Exactly Riddler...however there are too many cheaters and OM/OW who beg to differ in this forum.

 

Too many of them insist that the spouse was lacking at something or neglecting them....

 

Too many times it is just a fact that cheating wasn't spawned because of something wrong with the relationship, but that some people just can't say no to another pretty face or advances from someone. Most of the time it is the thrill of something new...plain and simple.

 

That is all very true.

 

Love the signiature. I may have to pop in that movie tonight.

 

I agree but women who act this way are considered liberated feminists while if a man even notices that another woman is attractive he can be in the doghouse for weeks. I think that most women aren't even capable of loving a man. They just want the ego boost and that is why they cheat and that is why they sleep with married men. Most women don't actually love their men.

 

That woman would be called insecure and jealous, not a liberated feminist.

 

How can you say that most women are incapable of loving a man? That is just plain ridiculous. Sure this world has its down sides, but come on, that is a bit extreme to be saying that. I would have thought and hoped that marriage has opened your mind up a little bit but it seems to have not. I hope that you are still seeing your counselor.

 

Remember that men cheat too, so don't put the blame on one gender. Geez, sometimes I feel like I am repeating myself.

[Trialbyfire]

Remember that men cheat too, so don't put the blame on one gender. Geez, sometimes I feel like I am repeating myself.

That's 'cause you are. I've given up on Woggle because he's determined to see ill of every woman but his wife and sometimes she's guilty too. It's like me hating all men because I was cheated on by one. While it has affected how quickly and how much I will trust the next person in the next relationship, I don't see all guys as being bad.

 

On the other hand, his attitude hurts him more than it hurts anyone else, so I guess he needs to bleed somewhere.

[Pyro]

That's 'cause you are. I've given up on Woggle because he's determined to see ill of every woman but his wife and sometimes she's guilty too. It's like me hating all men because I was cheated on by one. While it has affected how quickly and how much I will trust the next person in the next relationship, I don't see all guys as being bad.

 

On the other hand, his attitude hurts him more than it hurts anyone else, so I guess he needs to bleed somewhere.

 

I would like to help but he doesn't seem to want to listen to reason. He has a mindset on one thing and that is MOST women are evil, which IMO they are not.

 

Hey, I was cheated on too, but did I sit there and start on years and years of rants about how most or all women are evil? No, because I take the time to think rationally about things and realize that she was one out of millions and millions. Not all women are like her, so I wrote her off and I moved on.

 

Woggle, you can keep on living in the past, but you are free to catch up to the rest of us that have moved on.

 

I had thought that one can only bleed for so long but I guess that I am wrong.

[burning 4 revenge]

Woggle may obsess on the word feminist too much, but I think his theory that men tend to love women more than women love men is valid. It goes way back before womens' lib though. Western culture has traditionally looked upon the man as the warrior and protector, He defends his family at his own peril and is therefore ulimately disposable.

 

The women and the children are the ones who are precious. Who is supposed to be chivalric and jump overboard when the ship is sinking? What you don't understand, because you're still young Rid is that the man is there for the protection and gratification of the woman and the woman is the Goddess the man the slave. That mentality has only gotten worse after so called equality not better.

 

Woggle is right there

[Can'tGiveUp]

Obviously divorce is usually much harder on the person left than the leaver. Research seems to show that men are more likely to suffer major long term depression and have higher suicide rates after divorce than woman. I've been searching myself, reading here and elsewhere. Men do seem to suffer a little bit more then women. Of course every situation is different. If anger is an indication of the amount of pain you're in men get hurt pretty bad. Of course you have the cases of men and even women who are just cold fish emotionally.

 

Women are first of all just better at relationships. They've been studying them, talking about them etc. since they were little girls. I see my little nieces into the intrigue a bit even at their young ages. When it comes to sex and relationships let's face it usually woman are the 'supply' and men are the 'demand'. That's just the way it works out. Even in this modern age women are chased by men in most cases and that is expected. Men throw thier pitches and women decide whether or not to swing. Women get hit on constantly and have more instant options. A comedian I heard once said that women have the sixth sense, they know whether or not you're getting laid tonight. Women are better at spreading thier intimacy around with platonic relationships and otherwise. They are more in tune emotionally and can separate emotional and physical intimacy. Hence that phrase "Love you but not in love with you." that guys just don't understand. Plus they tend to have stronger and larger support systems.

 

 

Thoughts ... opinions?

 

just my thoughts on the bolded sentences:

 

The person who leaves the relationship has usually worked through much of the pain and anguish of ending the marriage before the other party is aware that there is a problem. So it LOOKS like the one left suffers more, but don't confuse that with the leaver not feeling any pain, remorse, or guilt for ending it.

 

Everything I have read suggests that men are much more capable at separating emotional and physical intimacy. Specifically that women need to believe there are emotions involved in order to 'justify' (for lack of a better term) physical intimacy.

 

I do believe that women have better support systems. Perhaps that is why it seems that there are more hurting men on here than women? These are men seeking help to recover but many women can have these conversations with their support group...and not be judged for revealing their emotions and confusions over issues.

 

Of course, over time, sometimes even our friends get tired of hearing it and we end up here too!

[Green]

divorce is hardest on the little girls who get there ass beat by there new step father and have abandonment issues and grow up to go out and date unavailable dangerous men....

[johan]

Girls like that usually end up being quite good in bed. The ride can be quite good, if you can deal with the ride.

[Storyrider]

Girls like that usually end up being quite good in bed. The ride can be quite good, if you can deal with the ride.

 

Or perhaps the real victims are boys who grow to be men posting sarcastic, faux-sexist comments on serious threads.

[johan]

Or perhaps the real victims are boys who grow to be men posting sarcastic, faux-sexist comments on serious threads.

 

Faux? I don't think so.

[quiet1one1]

We've kid of gotten off-topic, sorry Sumdude. It's all interesting nonetheless.

 

So since "today's woman" is all that is pretty much left....stay away...stay far away from marriage.

 

Alas, I agree. It's not about "today's woman" though - good for them. They're just a small piece of the puzzle. Our society is so totally f-ed up for a lot of reasons. You think Grandma and Grandpa didn't get bored with their M, spouses, or lives?

 

In a previous post I called it our "remote control" society. When you're bored or a commercial comes on, what do you do? You quickly change the channel of course! We've moved on to the point where most of us don't even remember there are kids still dying in Iraq!!!

 

Regardless, marriage is quickly becoming a thing of the past and with that goes the breakdown of the family, of morals and commitment. While vows mean something to me, they apparently don't for I'd guess about 60% of others.

 

Kids learn from their screwed-up parents and they repeat the cycle to a higher degree, and so on, and so on ... till we're back to being the "animals" that we are (Gunny?) maybe?

[quiet1one1]

till we're back to being the "animals" that we are (Gunny?) maybe?

 

Not calling you an animal Gunny! I've read your posts and I know your theories on this topic....

[Pyro]

Woggle may obsess on the word feminist too much, but I think his theory that men tend to love women more than women love men is valid. It goes way back before womens' lib though. Western culture has traditionally looked upon the man as the warrior and protector, He defends his family at his own peril and is therefore ulimately disposable.

 

The women and the children are the ones who are precious. Who is supposed to be chivalric and jump overboard when the ship is sinking? What you don't understand, because you're still young Rid is that the man is there for the protection and gratification of the woman and the woman is the Goddess the man the slave. That mentality has only gotten worse after so called equality not better.

 

Woggle is right there

 

The discussion about which gender loves the other more can be debated for years and years and it is something that will never get settled.

 

I am posting because Woggle claims that women are incapable of loving men and that they don't really love their men. So according to him, all the women here on LS who are in some type of relationship do not actually love their SO's and that they are only with the SO for an ego boost, which is utterly ridiculous.

[Trialbyfire]

I also find any supposition of men loving women more, than women loving men, ridiculous. It's very individual and situational dependent. Since I'm no psychologist, I can only speak of my experiences. In my last relationship, I know for fact that I loved him more than he loved me. Otherwise, why would he go astray? As well, if you look at stats, more men stray from a marriage than women. With this statistic in mind, who loves who more?

[Woggle]

Women cheat just as much as men and when they do they are cheered on by other women. I just don't see many women that actually love the men in their lives. Some keep them around for their own selfish reasons but very few women actually love their husbands. To a woman a man is a means to an end and when he stops being of use he is discarded.

[Trialbyfire]

In the same vein as your bitter take, woggle, perhaps it's because men tend to use women as sperm repositories. There's never love involved. Only a means to an end for the reproductory cycle...

[Pyro]

Women cheat just as much as men and when they do they are cheered on by other women. I just don't see many women that actually love the men in their lives. Some keep them around for their own selfish reasons but very few women actually love their husbands. To a woman a man is a means to an end and when he stops being of use he is discarded.

 

And some men do the same thing. They will get cheered on by other men. Either way, it is not right, but again you are generalizing.

 

I'll say it again but when you are ready to rejoin real life and rational thinking, then you are free to do so.

[burning 4 revenge]

Women cheat just as much as men and when they do they are cheered on by other women. I just don't see many women that actually love the men in their lives. Some keep them around for their own selfish reasons but very few women actually love their husbands. To a woman a man is a means to an end and when he stops being of use he is discarded.

I don't think this is always the case and I think men do this too, but I think it's more true of women than men.

 

Again I agree with Woggle

[Pyro]

B4R,

I am not surprised that you feel that way right now because I know that your ex hurt you and that wasn't all that long ago, so I am sure that you are still recovering, but Woggle is supposedly happily married but yet he still has those thoughts. Something is not right with that. You shouldn't be thinking like that if you are happily married.

[Woggle]

I may be happily married but I am still aware of how our society is. I say over and over again that if a woman does not fit the type of woman I describe I am not talking about her but yet some women still take offense so it must mean they are guilty themselves.

[Citizen Erased]

I may be happily married but I am still aware of how our society is. I say over and over again that if a woman does not fit the type of woman I describe I am not talking about her but yet some women still take offense so it must mean they are guilty themselves.

 

Honestly Woggle, why do you keep repeating yourself then? When you go on and on with your bs, you never state that its not about ALL women, just the majority blah blah blah. You state it as a fact, when its not.

 

I just don't see many women that actually love the men in their lives. Some keep them around for their own selfish reasons but very few women actually love their husbands. To a woman a man is a means to an end and when he stops being of use he is discarded.

 

Very few women. So you suddenly know the inner workings of every female mind do you? Every woman is so weak and insecure they need to hang onto a man until someone better comes along? How on earth would you actually know? You have absolutely no clue. Seriously, I can sympathize with you because of your mother and your ex. But honestly, build a bridge and get over it. My grandfather beat the living crap out of my grandmother and my dad for YEARS, I watched at the age of 5 as he kicked her in the head. My mums ex emotionally abused me and physically abused my mother, yet I do not come on her spouting that well most, not all, but most men will be abusive. You have absolutely no right to judge people you do not know, and you DO NOT know the majority of women.

 

You may think you are so special because you have such controversial views, but keep them to yourself because you have absolutely no evidence to back them up . Honestly, save your energy to put into your marriage because you will need it, especially after your last thread.

 

*steps off soap box*.

[Woggle]

I am only calling it how I see it.

[Citizen Erased]

I am only calling it how I see it.

 

oh so this is the brick wall my parents always mentioned they speak to...

[Gunny376]

First off ~ I like it when a woman tells me I'm an "animal"

 

You've got to take the sex and gender out of the equation, and factor in the individual. Fact of the matter is that some women are more masculine than your typical male, and some men are more feminine than your typical female.

 

But an azzhole ~ is still an azzhole ~ none the less! A liar is a liar regardless. A cheater is a cheater, regardless of what they've got between their legs.

 

But just because you’re a woman doesn't make you mean, bad, anything ~ nor does being a man make you less than a human being.

 

Whether men cheat more than women, or women cheat more than men is ill relevant? Its not that women don't like sex ~its that they don't like "bad sex" You crawl in bed each night and have someone try and poke you with a stick!

 

Women commit and invest 100% going into a relationship ~ too many men invest and commit at the end ~ when its too late.

[Trialbyfire]

First off ~ I like it when a woman tells me I'm an "animal"

 

You've got to take the sex and gender out of the equation, and factor in the individual. Fact of the matter is that some women are more masculine than your typical male, and some men are more feminine than your typical female.

 

But an azzhole ~ is still an azzhole ~ none the less! A liar is a liar regardless. A cheater is a cheater, regardless of what they've got between their legs.

 

But just because you’re a woman doesn't make you mean, bad, anything ~ nor does being a man make you less than a human being.

 

Whether men cheat more than women, or women cheat more than men is ill relevant? Its not that women don't like sex ~its that they don't like "bad sex"

 

Women commit and invest 100% going into a relationship ~ too many men invest and commit at the end ~ when its too late.

Spot on Gunny!!

[Citizen Erased]

 

Its not that women don't like sex ~its that they don't like "bad sex" You crawl in bed each night and have someone try and poke you with a stick!

 

who could not laugh at that?