Best revenge on a cheating spouse...

[Tomcat33]

Flyin in Clouds wrote:

 

What makes you think what they taught you was anything but lies, particularly if you got it in Cuba?

 

The same thing that makes you think that your political views are the right ones, your own head. And where do you get your politcal news from the Neocon Herald? LOL

 

I just find it ironic that someone that opposes the death penality would also quote Che, a guy that sent thousands to death by firing squad.

 

He faught for freedom against capitalism and against the "ideals" that have become our way of life in the shallow world we currently live in. He faught for a better social environment, and yes there was blood shed, it was not unllike any great revolution that stands up for its cause. It's much like what Bush is doing today, sending his firing squad to die in the middle east, only I really can't see 10 or 20 yrs from now people walking the streets with DUMBASS Bush's face on their t-shirts. The differnce is that Che faught for values not for his pocket, what Fidel did from that is another story. Please no more politics it's not apropriate for this thread.

Take out a thread in the politics forum (if there is one) and I'll gladly debate with you there. ;)

 

 

So rather waste time on insults, how about saying WHY you think it wrong to let the little darlings know the truth about their mother and what she did that has hurt their father and destroyed their chance for a happy family? There is NO WAY that this situation isn't going to affect those kids in some way. I do not believe that these two can hide the truth that well and act like loving parents that love each other in a big Ozzie and Harriet family for the next 15 or 20 years.

 

I already explained why in another post a few pages back. Not going to reapeat it, and it's basically the same thing everyone one else is saying here on this thread about children growing up in a hostile home environment. I think you are a grown adult and you don't need me to explain to you why it's unhleathy for children to grow up in hostile environments, let alone one where cheating has occured. It is extremely detremental to any child's development to have a moderately peacful life at home, by peacful I mean no more arguing or agression or dislocated love between the parents, than need be. In this particular case the love is torn between two people because of betrayal and the H decides to stay together for the sake of the children all the while not allowing himself to deal with the agression and resentement he carries inside to get past the state he is in. So the question begs to be asked, WHY is he staying with his W again? It's unhealthy for the children to live with parents that hate each other, moreso than it is to visit two loving parents in seperate homes.

There are enough people who came out in this thread alone to atest to that if you don't want to take my word for it.

 

Women seem to have this idea that they can do any damn rotten thing they want and we men should just grin and bear it. Women are entitled to behave as badly as they want to - and no consequence, no remrose, no apology even. (Has HC's W even said she was sorry and meant it?)

 

NO WAY, again FIC it's not men/vs/women it's about the information that HC has infront of him, his NEW reality if you will, and how both he and his W are going to deal with it. That's the bottom line. It's not about letting anyone off the hook or anything like that it's about trying to work with the new found information in a way that is going to be best for all, and YES even the W, at the end of the day she is a human being too. If she does everything in her power to redeem herself why can't she be given a second chance? Is that not what SC decided to do? Give her a second chance? When you decide to stay with a cheating spouse you are essentially giving them a second chance, well WHEN DOES THAT begin to happen? I really don't see it happening yet.

 

Well that is your world view. Men and women are essentially the same. My advise is that men and women aren't the same and has everything to do with being a man or woman.

 

No way men and women are NOT the same, I would never say something so foolish. We simply are not. But to boil it down to he being hurt because he is a man or her commiting the crime because she is a woman is totally negating the issue at hand. I would say less focus on who is what and more focus on what to do next.

[Impudent Oyster]

LMAO!!!! now that's funny. I wonder if you asked him was all the cheating worth it? Was it worth the destruction of your family, and the love of a nice and faithful wife? And the loss of respect from your family and colleagues.

 

Oh god, sooooooo not worth it! Biggest mistake he ever made, that's for sure, and he'll admit that to his grave.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Damn, I just wonder why all the cheating and destruction of a family just for a piece of ass? It was stupid. Plain and simple, a moment of pleasure for a whole lifetime of pain. That's why I seriously consider never getting married.

 

Sad, but true.

[Impudent Oyster]

Damn, I just wonder why all the cheating and destruction of a family just for a piece of ass? It was stupid. Plain and simple, a moment of pleasure for a whole lifetime of pain. That's why I seriously consider never getting married.

 

Sad, but true.

 

Not everyone cheats. Many people, yes, but there are some who just won't go there. Have a little faith and maybe you'll end up with one of the good ones.

[Batman7]

I've been in the same situation and yes it feels good for a little while, but it doesn't really take away the hurt from you being cheated on. I've stayed with my wife for over 15 years since she cheated. The hurt is still with me. I'm in it for the kids and no other reason. It's my choice, and my burden. Tried the MC thing and everything else, the hurt does not go away, you just have moments when your not thinking about it.

[hardcase]

I've been in the same situation and yes it feels good for a little while, but it doesn't really take away the hurt from you being cheated on. I've stayed with my wife for over 15 years since she cheated. The hurt is still with me. I'm in it for the kids and no other reason. It's my choice, and my burden. Tried the MC thing and everything else, the hurt does not go away, you just have moments when your not thinking about it.

 

Exactly...you just have moments when your not thinking about it.

Gee...I can't wait for it to get to that point for me.

[hardcase]

Well excuse me for saying this SC, but what kind of dumb f*ck would LET his wife go out clubbing with her "friends" until 4 in the morning? Sorry, that isn't married behavior. Stay at home after you're married.

------------Oh please, you think you should CHAIN your spouse in the house after marriage. It IS alright to still lead your own life and have some fun here and there after marriage. Marriage doesn't mean you should be slave, stay home all the time and be miserable!

 

We aren't talking about chaining someone to the couch...we are talking about what isn't acceptable for a spouse to do..clubbing is one of the...so is having sex with other people...or is that too much for a married person to handle?...if so...they aren't fit to be married.

 

You sound just like my soon-to-be ex-husband. And because of his controlling behavior and abusive attitude, I DID CHEAT!!!!!

 

Are you sure you didn't cheat because you had it in you all along?

 

and I did exactly the opposite of what you claim your husband did...and look where it got me.

 

You are an idiot for swearing at this man as well. He was being a GOOD husband; just happened to have a LOUSY wife!!!

 

As much as I don't agree with FIC on alot of things...he was right....I was being a dumbf#ck. I was a fool and was full of love and trust that it was coming out of my eyeballs and I couldn't see what I should have all along.

 

Well...needless to say...no more being a dumbf#ck for me. She had her little "fun"...she showed me she can't handle it...so she will no longer be doing it if she wants to keep her family together.

 

If she would rather be a club hopper instead of a wife and mother...then she has made her choice.

[hardcase]

I don't think SC would dump his children if they were someone else's. HE is all those kids know! Why should innocent children have to suffer? He IS their father, even if they don't share the same blood.

 

Anyway, I doubt very much that the kids are someone else's.

 

I know my oldest is mine...but not sure about my second.

 

Either way, only reason I'd want a DNA test is to possibly learn the truth.

 

Both of them are my kids and always will be.

[IpAncA]

Sorry if you've mentioned this but what are you going to do?

 

Seems like the relationship is at a hault unless something is done.

[whichwayisup]

Welcome back HC!

 

I was a fool and was full of love and trust that it was coming out of my eyeballs and I couldn't see what I should have all along.

 

Clubbing is one thing, but she took it to another level by continually coming home so late into the wee hours of the morning. THAT I don't understand.

[whichwayisup]

I know my oldest is mine...but not sure about my second.

 

Either way, only reason I'd want a DNA test is to possibly learn the truth.

 

Both of them are my kids and always will be.

 

Don't do any DNA testing unless it's for a medical reason. Finding out for sure will only complicate things and have a tailspin affect on the kids.

[hardcase]

to read all these responses but I agree with SC...the best revenge is to look good, work out, take care of youself, get educated, concentrate on your work, your kids, your hobbies whatever but take the focus off the cheating spouse.

 

It's good to know that you will be just fine without your spouse, that you're not going to curl up in a little ball and wither away because they went outside the marriage..

 

Well god damn....thank you!!! FINALLY...someone who gets it!!

 

I know others get it, but IO nailed it.