Desperate for - Hookers???

[HRHH]

I really need some input from someone, looks like this is the right place. After 15 years of marriage, I just found out my husband cheated with hookers 5 years ago. A few times, over about an 18 month period, when things were terrible between us and he was suffering from depression over a financial crisis he was experiencing. He was a dark person then - changed from the perfect, sweet man I fell in love with so long ago. But his moral character has always seemed so strong, I never would have even guessed this type of behaviour was on his radar screen, even then. He said he felt disgusted afterwards, and was so angry at the world for his problems, he just became self destructive in the worst way. He supressed it, we moved on, he recovered from his depression, and our marriage has been wonderful again ever since (of course I never knew this had happened). I know he was experiencing terrible pressure at the time, and it was an anomaly in a sense - he was a different person for a period, but it still hurts so badly that he could do this to me. The worst part (well kind of) is that he had lied about the financial problems too, and when I discovered them, I stood by him and picked him up - I took on his creditors and his legal issues as my own. I paid his debts, and took on his stress, all the while dealing with the fact that he had turned our lives upside down and lied to me for years. He is still unable to work because of judgements against his name, so I now support us and our children by myself while he is at home. And not only did that not encourage him to be honest with me, but the reason this has all come to light now, is that I caught him on the internet sending e-mails which were indicative that he was either engaging in this behavour again, or about to. He claims it is all innocent and just e-mail stimulation due to boredom, but what kind of man does this to his wife who he claims to love to the end of the earth?? He is broken now and I think he is truly feeling great pain and guilt over this, and he did come clean to me about the past, but I am lost. I believe he is a good person, the man I know does not have this in him, and I desperatly want to believe that he could not have done anything at this point in our lives as we are so happy (as he assures me he could not have). But the disease risk alone is repulsive to me, nevermind the disgusting nature of this whole thing. He is begging for forgiveness, and I want to forgive, but I just don't know what to do. Help please.