ktcopywriter Posted January 10, 2003 Share Posted January 10, 2003 [font=arial][/font][color=darkblue][/color]Hi there! I'm new to LoveShack and I need some advice about my current relationship. I have been with my boyfriend going on two years now, and he has treated me wonderfully...The only riff we've ever had in our relationship is that it's uncomfortable for me to be around his ex-girlfriend. They are really good friends still and she is engaged to be married. I have total trust in my man, and I know that there's nothing between them anymore. But I get upset when I hear how he talks to her...exactly like he talks to me! Words like sweetie, dear, love....cut me up inside. I've only had two get-togethers with her, and they didn't go well - I ended up pissed off and upset and trying to keep it inside. I wish that it didn't bother me, but it does...this is something I just don't think I'll get used to. I've told him how I feel and he says that it's just the way he talks to his friends that are women and that it's the only material he's got (he likes to be a comedian when the tone turns serious) He thinks that I'm just not being very mature about the situation...but should he be using "material" at all or am I being too insecure when I know in my heart that it doesn't mean anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted January 10, 2003 Share Posted January 10, 2003 He sounds like an egotistic, insensitive clod. There's many MANY women out there (and men too, situation reversed) who would not want one single thing to do with their b/f's ex (social situation)...regardless of the 'trust factor'.....because a lot of people just don't need that in their face. Yes yes, we all have a past, we all have past relationships...but leave the past in the past and let's get on with today and the future. And for him him to call you immature, what a jerk. You feel the way you feel, and that's not right or wrong...it's just how you feel. At least you had the grace to keep your feelings to yourself, when out around his ex. Good for you! What's this sh*t about "that's the only material I've got"? Oh come on, that's lame and laughable. Does he talk to strangers on the street and call them these pet names? His female coworkers? I doubt it. Sounds like he's just trying to look all 'cool'....this kind of thing would be a huge turn-off to me, personally. You're his g/f now. He's supposed to take your feelings into consideration and not put you down for them. Why must you be in social situations with his ex anyway? So what they're good friends.....how would he feel if the tables were turned and you wanted to hang out with one of YOUR exes, and be all cutesy and friendly? I'd be willing to bet that he wouldn't be too darn keen. Don't really have any solid advice..but did want to let you know that I don't think you're immature or reacting badly. It doesn't even have to be about insecurity.......it's just about common courtesy and behaving in a way that shows respect to your girlfriend/her feelings. If he can't put himself in your shoes and try to compromise, or see where you're coming from, then do you really think he's the one for you? You should be with a guy who's respectful, in all ways. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ktcopywriter Posted January 10, 2003 Author Share Posted January 10, 2003 The thing is that he's the most secure person I've ever met, the situation was reversed once...and my boyfriend was totally fine with it and has NEVER acted jealous or posessive. I love that about him, but at the same time it's hard for him to understand where I'm coming from because he's never been in my uncomfortable shoes;) Does anyone think that I should just not hang out when the ex is around - which only happens a few times every couple months, or should I befriend her (she's actually really nice!) and make an effort to make the situation more comfortable for myself...since she's not just going to go away, and I would hate to have this bother me when I absolutely have to be around her...like at her wedding in the future? Link to post Share on other sites
AlohaLove Posted January 12, 2003 Share Posted January 12, 2003 Whenever every girls go out with Guys. There is exactly same problem that U have is exist. I really understand what U feel now. I can tell that U really love ur BF so much. U know think positive that Ur boyfriend is nice to everyone! How nice right? If He is mean to everyone...that's worse...If he treat his ex nicer than U then that's problem but He treat U nice and U R appriciate about it too. Think about Now the girl is not his girlfriend anymore!! U r the one who is special person of him. U can have confidence for that!!! Just hang out with his ex-girlfriend. I think U should trust him. U know? if U really want to make good relationship, U have to trust him first. Don't afraid to trust him! U r lucky that He tell U truth that The girl is ur ex. Some worse guys are just hiding everygthing about realtionship with girls. Sometimes guys tell GF that she is just friend however that's could be some secret relationship. Ur Boyfriend is honest good guy. Telling U truth. Only I disagree for ur boyfriend is the way he talk to his ex. I understand Ur feeling. Caz, U r the special person, he should treat U Best. ummm...let me think how U can slove....May I ask U something if U don't mind...Is the ex girlfriend broke him up or he broke her up? Which one. If the ex girlfriend broke him up then He might still like her??? That's what I guess??? But, Don't be insecure. She will get married right?? About the way his talking...U should tell him like this, "If U talk to the other guys, How is he gonna feel the way U talk? BF and GF should have specality each other for words to words." I think ur BF is really excused about the way he talk!! He should more cosider about U!! Try it!! I 'm ur side(^v^)/// Link to post Share on other sites
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