TurtlePower Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 This problem involves a lot of people, so bear with me if it gets a little confusing. It involves myself (20 something yr old male), my best friend (Lets call her Chrissy), her fiance and my friend (Lets call him Larry), and a mutual friend for all us, (Lets call her, you guessed it, Janet). Ok, about three years ago, Chrissy and Larry had a friends with benefits thing going on, they werent officially dating, just you know....Ultimately Larry wanted to break this off and he did, much to the chagrin of Chrissy. She wanted more than friends with benefits and she was heartbroken. She cried on my shoulder and really became dependent on me for the next few months or so. I actually thought she was falling for me too, but i decided not to pursue this as she was just like I mentioned dependent on me. Larry preceded to get with Janet and dated for about a month. Once again, Larry decides to end this, and vows to close friends that he is not interested in either Chrissy or Janet. However, fast forward a month or two later.... Chrissy gets PREGNANT!! With you guessed it, Larry. Damage control is under way. Conspiracy theorists mentioned that Chrissy trapped Larry into the relationship by getting pregnant. I defend her as she is my best friend and i dont like seeing her name dragged through the mud. Janet is surprised obviously. Larry and Chrissy proceed to tell everyone that they are very much in love. The rolling of the eyes follows by everyone and anyone. Ok so far? Lets fast forward to recent times... Larry and Chrissy now engaged, their kid is about 18 mos old, they have arguments on a monthly basis on how he feels that Chrissy and I are going behind his back and having an affair. He is super insecure and flips at the littlest things such as lunch being made for me by her, or assumes shes dolling herself up for my benefit. Not true. He goes as so much to accuse me and her of having an affair ALOT. Now, Chrissy and I dont get much time together anymore, mostly due to her not wanting to anger Larry. Lame excuses that she never used before are a constant now. One of her reasonings is this, "Larry is an old fashioned kind of guy, he feels that if you are with someone, you shouldnt hang around with other girls, if you are with a girl, that is the one girl you should be around. No one else." She is saying this because indeed I do have a girlfriend, but I still try to make time with my friends, obviously she didnt get that memo. But I digress... Yesterday, Janet comes up to me saying that she needs to talk right away about something. We finally get a chance to talk and she mentions, "Larry has been sending me texts left and right, constantly calling me, he wants to have sex with me." I didnt really believe it until she showed me her phone with all the recent calls and txt messages he had sent. The question I am facing, you, the jury is this: Is it my or Janet's place to tell Chrissy all of this? She most likely wont believe us anyway and if we do tell her, how should I or we go about it? Lately, my life has been a constant soap opera and I needed to vent, thus me using a Queen song has my title. I just feel Larry has some nerve to do this, especially after he's accused me of the very same thing he is doing now. Even though the closest Chrissy and I have ever gotten was her resting her head on my shoulder, the occasional hug here or there, and as I mentioned the utter dependence on me a few years ago. Any help is much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TurtlePower Posted May 10, 2007 Author Share Posted May 10, 2007 Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 This Larry guy seems, so sleezy. I guess you and Janet could sit her down together. Janet could show her the messages and she would at least leave the meeting with the truth. You run the risk of losing the friendships with both Larry and his wife, as when faced with disturbing news some people go into denial and cut themselves off from the reminders. However, it sounds as though this Larry guy is kind of working on getting you out of the picture anyway. Sounds like her and Janet made a bad choice, and at least this Janet girl is standing up for what is right. However, just because Janet isn't taking the bait does not mean there won't be another girl in the future with this dude. What an avoidable mess. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
InSight26 Posted May 13, 2007 Share Posted May 13, 2007 Hey Turtlepower, Wow, drama, drama, drama. I agree with "Underpants" if you and Janet show Chrissy the text messages she'll know you're serious. But here's the kicker, sometimes people have things so made up in their mind's that even concrete proof doesn't work. I was in a semi-similar situation with my ex-best friend and when I showed her the proof of the text messages that had been sent, it was like I was speaking chinese. She was not tryng to hear it because in her mind she had already come to her own conclusions. In the end it can leave you heartbroken, and questioning the bond you "thought" you had with this person. This may sound harsh but think twice before getting involved in this situation. If you do decide to approach it be very sensitive in how you do so. Good Luck, cause that's a hard one :-) Link to post Share on other sites
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