roxie Posted December 7, 1999 Share Posted December 7, 1999 help! i have just found out after five months into a relationship that my boyfriend is a felon. Needless to say that we have been living together all this time also. He finally told me about two weeks ago that he was a felon on a drug charge. He told me where he was in prison at and told me where he was arrested at. But the problem is i have been doing some digging and yes he was in prison where he said which was a federal prison which he failed to tell me, and i assumed it was a time ago. come to find out he hasn't been released not even three years and he only recieved probation for the conspiracy to distribute cocain but was incarserated for a probation violation. he was in prison for nine months on that charge. but he never told me that. what could he have done so bad to be housed in a federal prison for a probation violation. Is this man more of a criminal than what he finally told me. And was it right not to tell me right away that he was a convicted felon? and come to find out the place and town where he told me it happened was a lie. How much more is he lieing about Link to post Share on other sites
Sooni Posted December 7, 1999 Share Posted December 7, 1999 It's kinda like me dating someone and saying 3 months later "by the way....I have kids". Two totally differant issue, but same thought process, which is "if they know the truth they won't like me, I want them to get to know me and who I am first". But no matter how one tries to justify it, it is deception on the receivers part. The issue of trust has been brought to the surface and an emotional violation has occured. There are several ways to look at the issue at hand..... You can take it as okay, he lied, I'm outta here! Okay not only did he lie but he is also a convicted felon....I deserve better..I'm outta here! Or everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves a second chance. If you feel you can live with him proving himself to you.....go for it. But he has to show you and prove to you beyond shadow of a doubt that he is a changed man. But on the other hand if this is not what you want for yourself in your life then you have every right to move on. It's hard to look at a relationship in a positive light when you feel that you have been lied to and decieved on purpose. Good luck..I would like to know what you decide, so keep in touch. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecilie Posted December 8, 1999 Share Posted December 8, 1999 I agree... I have a friend who was in prison for 3 yrs. for drug charges. He is a very nice person, a decent man who learned from his mistakes in his youth and is trying hard to be a better person. I also dated a man who was in prison for drug sale and possession who was on parole...he was pretty bad, abusive, cruel, still sold and bought drugs. So I guess I've seen both ends of the spectrum. And I guess in the end it's not about a man and what he did. It's about who he is now. So You should weigh what you know of him and what you see in him (honestly!) with what you feel about the situation. I hope everything turns out ok! Link to post Share on other sites
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