Internet Junkie Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 To the ladies: Please don't see any of this including the title, as disrespectful. I just need some help here. Anyway, let's get going. I was having an interesting chat with a women, over the internet, and we decided to go for a bite to eat. Long story short, this was our first meeting. I never saw her in real life. So, eventually when i saw her, she was about half a head taller than me, and "larger" than i expected. She's not fat, but not thin either. "Maybe" the best word to describe her is curvaceous. I usually go for the shorter and thinner types. (yeah, i know, we all have our preferences). Now, do other men have any good experiences in this sort of situation, where a women is, first of all, taller than you, and second, a bit larger than you expected. I was first put off by this, but as the evening grew older, i really started to like this woman. She's beautiful, intelligent and funny. Ok, you can say i'm past, a hurdle, however a few questions. 1) how do i make this count, even if i am not used to this sort of thing. 2) How do i handle all this, so that i can eliminate everything that is uncomfortable about the height problem, and the weight problem. I'm sure you all know what i'm trying to say. Any experiences from anybody would really help, thanks. By the way, i'm 6 years older than her. I'm late 20's, she's early 20's. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Did she have "man hands" too? Eh nicely tell her that you are not really interested. Hell who knows maybe she is saying she met up with a short dude and isn't really comfortable being around short men? are you just trying to get laid? Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Yikes! Blind date gone bad.... Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 She's a half head taller than you, that's quite a bit, you must be short. Since you're meeting women online why not just set your preferences when it comes to hight and body type. Also one date doesn't mean you have to see her again, many people don't go one the second date, for various reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Internet Junkie Posted May 9, 2007 Author Share Posted May 9, 2007 It's weird, but the height issue never came up. I'm 1.7 meters, or 5'7, which is average height. However, i still want to see her. I know you all think i'm weird. She even called me out of the blue today, to have small talk, and we are meeting for coffee on sunday. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 However, i still want to see her. I know you all think i'm weird. She even called me out of the blue today, to have small talk, and we are meeting for coffee on sunday. Oh, I thought you wanted to get out of seeing her again and didn't want to hurt her feelings. Well if you want to see her again, what's the problem? Do you want to be less bothered by the size difference? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Internet Junkie Posted May 9, 2007 Author Share Posted May 9, 2007 The problem is how do i overcome the constant notion that she is taller than me, and a 'little' big ? But also, i want other fellas to share their experiences with regards to the issues i mentioned, and what made it work for them ? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 are you thinking about potential dating material here, or just hanging out with someone enjoyable? That might lessen the weird factor once you figure that out, and she ends up as a friend ... any which way, get to know her and let the relationship blossom from there. Because as a statuesque woman in a twig-girl society, I imagine she's got enough hang-ups about meeting guys. Besides, if she doesn't have a problem with YOUR build, chances are, she's more interested in meeting people with personalities that "click" with hers Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I was first put off by this, but as the evening grew older, i really started to like this woman. She's beautiful, intelligent and funny. However, i still want to see her. I know you all think i'm weird. She even called me out of the blue today, to have small talk, and we are meeting for coffee on sunday. If you still want to see her there is your answer. However if you DO think that it is going to be an issue, don't meet her on Sunday. Its not fair on her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Internet Junkie Posted May 9, 2007 Author Share Posted May 9, 2007 dating material definetly. She's beautiful, and has a great personality. So, there's already pluspoints, however i will be forever conscious of the things that bother me. how do i overcome it ? because it's going to be in my face the whole time. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Stop being so shallow? Either she is great dating material for you or she isn't. If it is going to bother you THAT much, she would probably rather you let her go now so she can find someone who will appreciate her just as she is. There is more to life than a size 8 ass. Ass size can change. Intelligence, beauty and humour are alot harder to cultivate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Internet Junkie Posted May 9, 2007 Author Share Posted May 9, 2007 Stop being so shallow? I'm not trying to be, nor am i trying to be nasty. this is the first time, i am "having this experience", and therefore, it's only logical to ask for help. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 how do you get past something like that? With great conscious effort. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I've been in the situation of dating shorter guys, and usually, even if at first I'm concerned, if the relationship works out, I forget all about it. If I notice that it keeps bothering me that the guy is shorter, then I take it to mean I'm not into him. One date at a time. Have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 OK let me be a little bit more sympathetic. Both my current BF and my ex weren't quite what I would consider to be conventionally handsome (although my ex thought he was the business). There were a few minor physical things that I wasn't 100% happy with, but my current guy is great fun to be around, smart kind and caring. But when I fell in love, those things ceased to matter. My ex was such a bstr*d to me that now i find him repulsive, and my current BF is an angel, therefore to me he is the sexiest hottest guy on the planet. IF this girl is great to be around in every other sense, then maybe you should give it a chance and see what happens. Don't string it out too long though, I think after a few months you should know whether you can overcome it or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Internet Junkie Posted May 9, 2007 Author Share Posted May 9, 2007 Thanks. You're a star. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 dating material definetly. She's beautiful, and has a great personality. So, there's already pluspoints, however i will be forever conscious of the things that bother me. how do i overcome it ? because it's going to be in my face the whole time. You will overcome it... no problem.. you like her then what's the problem... when I my last ex picked me up the first night... I thought 'OH MY DOG' he was soooo not my type... very tall (I like that) but overweight... eeeewwww but we went out... he was very smart, a real gentleman... we had some kind of chemistry... I thought I will give him another chance... the next date was fine, he was taking me places I've never been before... I felt so secure with him... the second date was even better... I was not seeing his weight as much... on the 3rd date we had sex.... that was a bit uncomfortable, because I was seeing him naked... but it was amazing, he was a good lover. I became more and more 'attached' to him.... then a few more dates we were head over heels in love.... I moved with him a few months later... kept my apartment for another 6 months (just in case) I lived 5 years with this guy... One of the nicest guy on this planet. He was overweight (still is) but he was stunning (his face) he looks a lot like Joey (Dancing with the Stars) but lighter hair. Every time I see this show, he reminds me of my ex. So I say that you will eventually overcome that difference and you might have a very happy relationship with her. For the height, there is not much she can do about it but for the weight, it is 'fixable' if she wants to. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Jinxx Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 dating material definetly. She's beautiful, and has a great personality. So, there's already pluspoints, however i will be forever conscious of the things that bother me. how do i overcome it ? because it's going to be in my face the whole time. I don't think you will ever overcome it. Date her and have a little fun but really.... no matter how beautiful she is or how great her personality is, she'll never be your ideal type of woman. Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 Maybe you need to question why you are being so superficial. I mean, if she is in a "normal" range of weight, then no big deal. Skinny women gain weight. Bigger women lose weight. (But, way over or under weight IS not healthy, or attractive.) Do you like her and are attracted to her as she is now? Then no big deal. Go out with her and see where it goes. But, if you really prefer smaller women, then don't date this woman. I don't think anyone can say anything that will make you feel better about it. You might go out with her again and see if the "weight" issue fades into the background. If not, then don't go out with her again. You don't want to throw her weight up in her face during the first fight you have because deep down you resent it. I know how you feel. I would have to cut loose any guy with a very small penis. Doubt I could ever get over it...... (just kidding!) Link to post Share on other sites
SpiderLilly Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 LMAO Nicki! Junkie, here's where you lose me. You keep talking about how beautiful this woman is...yet you keep coming back to being hung up on her weight. And you never said, "She'd be beautiful IF..." you just said she was beautiful. Is it possible that the problem isn't so much *her* weight as it is the fact that you never saw yourself being attracted to a person of her body type? Or, is it possible that you're concerned with what other people will think should a relationship develop? I'm not saying you're shallow, cuz I don't know you, so how would I know? I'm just trying to give you some ideas. All in all, I say if y'all have fun together and you're attracted to each other, stick around and do just that: have fun! I've recently discovered that having a good time together outweighs the weirdness of dating outside of my "type." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Internet Junkie Posted May 9, 2007 Author Share Posted May 9, 2007 LMAO Nicki! Junkie, here's where you lose me. You keep talking about how beautiful this woman is...yet you keep coming back to being hung up on her weight. And you never said, "She'd be beautiful IF..." you just said she was beautiful. She's curvaceous. Maybe slightly more, but why i say she's beautiful, is her skin, smile and face, and her personality. Is it possible that the problem isn't so much *her* weight as it is the fact that you never saw yourself being attracted to a person of her body type? You can say that, yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 I think you're focusing too much on the minuses and not enough on what you're gaining. Think of it this way, you're getting more woman than you've ever had before. The sex could be a real adventure. Curves could give you a chance to try out gears you've never used. Link to post Share on other sites
Teddy and Jane Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I think you may be too immature to be dating her. You are asking a board if you should go out with someone or not. That says a lot about your maturity level. You also go by the fake skinny Hollywood look, which is what you THINK you should be attracted to, so it bothers you when you're attracted to someone who is not. Look at the responses you got like "manhands", "bad date" etc. Those guys are the types who post on a board like this. Do you really want to seek advice from those kinds of people? I don't think you should go out with her. She can do better. Link to post Share on other sites
Teddy and Jane Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 Yikes! Blind date gone bad.... How is being on a blind date with a beautiful, funny, and intelligent woman, and she is someone he ended up "really liking" by the end of the date a blind date gone bad? Explain, please? Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 If its not your thing its not your thing. But whats wrong with a big woman thats not sloppy fat! I love tall women, short women, all type and races, and I can thank internet porn for that. Truly took away any bias i would ever had and made me see all woman as equal opportunities for being sexy and attractive. The more unique the better. The only type of woman that is not that attractive are women that look like Justine Bateman and I dont think anyone can disagree with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts