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need feedback (friend zone related)


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jumpoff jorge

so i been cool wit this girl for about...4 yrs..we talk everyday online rarely hang out...i used to talk to her bestfriend but nothing never happened we never even kissed..now this girl is older(the one i knew for 4 yrs) and shes lookin alot better she knows me like a book...i feel like shes perfect for me...she tells me im like a brother to her..but i started to grow feelings for her and wanna be wit her...i asked friends but they honestly dont know what to tell me.... but i realllllly wanna be wit this girl i just dont know how to approach it...and i feel if i do everything wrong it'll ruin our friendship...so i come here for help lol...all feedback and comments good or bad are appreciated..thank you

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she tells me im like a brother to her

 

Not a good sign. This means she does not view you in a sexual manner but sees you as a male gf. You either accept the friendship as it is or you can try backing off from being so close and see if it might spark some different feeling from her but I would just look for another love interest and keep her as a friend.

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Don't be needy. You do not need her. People misinterpret that and act like an *******. Don't do that eithier. Be yourself, take some time off her for a few days. Hang out with other women. Talk to her about the other women you hangout with and ask for tips what to do, or your problems reguarding them. I did that with a girl I was i nthe friend zone in and she developed "feelings". Let her chase you a little. You are in the friend zone, but you can always get out, its just very difficult.

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jumpoff jorge

UPDATEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

 

WE SPOKE AND SHE LEFT SOON THIS IS WHAT I EMAILED HER

you left and i had one more thing to let you know...a guy cant be friends with a girl hes attracted too..its either you feel the same way about me and you give it a try or you dont i cherish our friendship and i dont want it to end i care bout you and love u 2 death so you really need to think about the whole situation and what u wanna do when it comes to us take as much time as you need no rush at all..you know where to find me......love you dude

 

SHE REPILED BACK WITH THIS

dude u kno i love u 2 death n i always will but ive always seen you as my brother and i dont think i'll b able to see u in any other way, i hate doin this 2 u but i think its best if u know the truth. i think whatever it is ur feeling will eventually pass b/c weve known ea. other for yrs n uve never liked me like that atleast not that i kno of so its prob. just a phase. I hope we can still b close friends i'll always love you as my brother.

 

 

AND I ANSWERED BACK WITH THIS

i dunno sasha...i dont wanna end our friendship i care about you alotttt but i dont know if i can handle it its a lose lose situation for me.....its either me and you remain friends and i live with it knowing that something between me and you may or may never happen and keep fighting my emotions about it....or i end our friendship and miss the hell outta you....and still fight with my emotions about wantin to be with you and you being with other guys.. at the end of the day you got ur life..you'll be able to date angel and i'll be here stuck wit my feelings and not being able to do anything about it.....its not a phase at all this feelings i have for you are true....i thought it was a phase but its not thats another reason i kept it away from you i jus couldnt believe it..but i cant control the way i feel about you and thats just the way it is...if you date angel i respect ur decision but i also want you to know that i cud be a better boyfriend then he can cuz he dont love you and care about you like i do and u should know my intentions toward u are always good, and never to hurt or take advantage of you just know im always gonna love and care about you if you ever wanna talk about it and/or ever change your mind about us im just a instant message/phone call away....Love you......

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I don't think I would put the ultimatum out there and tell her it's either him or me. This will make her mad and she will find it easier to stop being your friend. I would tell her you need time to get a grip on your feelings. You can't be close friends with her now as you want different things from your relationship. The easiest thing for you to do is, if you want her in your life, find another girl for a romantic relationship. If you can't do this then you need to end the friendship. She is telling you she will never see you in a romantic way but she still wants to be a good friend to you.

 

The decision is yours but I would spend some time thinking about what you want ( not what she wants ). If you still want to be friends then you need to close the book on any romantic possibilities.

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