lostnycguy Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 5 years ago i was married (24 yrs old) and our relationship, which was volatile to begin with, quickly worsened. This woman was the most emasculating person on the face of the earth and the angriest - she would hit and throw objects at me. After a year of this she began to travel a whole lot by herself and with friends often leaving me alone for months. Long story short, i cheated which ultimately resulted in a divorce. She never admitted to cheating on me but certainly didnt dispute evidence i found. basically, I was too much of a coward to not just get divorced and move on before i did something i so deeply regret. Now i am in a relationship with someone who i love and who for the first time in my life truly makes me happy and feel loved. last weekend she found out about this cheating incident through a friend and despite the context (bad marriage, etc.) has been acting devasted. she asked me for the whole story and i was 100% honest with her and answered every question. I have been nothing but faithful and madly in love with her. i dont know what is scaring her exactly and i'm doing my best to be reassuring. i'm just curious if anyone has advice or has been in similar situations. I'm a good guy and in really in love for the first time in my life. not to mention a heck of a lot smarter and more mature when it comes to relationships as i was quite inexperienced at 24. do i need to give my girfriend some time/space to figure it out? anything i should do or say? i'm afraid of losing this woman. Link to post Share on other sites
megnog Posted May 11, 2007 Share Posted May 11, 2007 don't worry about it so much, she should get over it soon. at her age (i'm assuming shes close to your age) she should really recognize the fact that people change and the past is in the past. i have a boyfriend that has cheated on his exes and it worries me a bit because theres always that phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater". but thats really not true! i think she might be overreacting but since you are scared to lose her because of this , just let her know that you would NEVER cheat on her, she is waaay too important to you. it is obvious she means a lot more to you than your ex ever did, which is great, just let her know that. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
lostnycguy Posted May 14, 2007 Share Posted May 14, 2007 don't worry about it so much, she should get over it soon. at her age (i'm assuming shes close to your age) she should really recognize the fact that people change and the past is in the past. i have a boyfriend that has cheated on his exes and it worries me a bit because theres always that phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater". but thats really not true! i think she might be overreacting but since you are scared to lose her because of this , just let her know that you would NEVER cheat on her, she is waaay too important to you. it is obvious she means a lot more to you than your ex ever did, which is great, just let her know that. good luck Thanks a lot. We had a nice weekend away this past weekend and I will continue to be as reassuring and as loving as I've been because she really does mean so much more than anyone else I've met. Link to post Share on other sites
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